<p>Unconditional love was a major thing my folks taught each of us, as well as valuing and caring about everyone they meet. We also learned how to live comfortably, below our means so that we could save, no matter how low our income. How to enjoy the simple things in life, many of which don’t cost money. The importance of family was also key.</p>
<p>From Dad: lots of things, but largely the need to cope with whatever the goal/job requires. "If you want to catch a rabbit, you’ll have to get in the briar patch…'cause that’s where they are. "</p>
<p>From Mom: many things also, but mostly that you can’t get effort from other people by demeaning them. It requires making them believe that they have the tools to succeed, and that their only job is to supply their best efforts. </p>
<p>Nothing, really.</p>
<p>Oh, wait: maybe this - don’t marry someone thinking that you can change them later. </p>
<p>My dad taught me how to swallow pill when I was much younger(he was a dotting dad). But what I’ve learned from him is not taught but observed, he was brilliant when it comes to academic subject but couldn’t change a light bulb if his life depends on it(ok slight exaggeration) so I ended up marrying somebody who is really smart academically but also a very good handyman.</p>
<p>My mom taught me when times are bad, it’s when you have to hunker down and wait for it to pass. No cooking lessons whatsoever, her kitchen is her kitchen, don’t mess around with it. Besides stuff like that can be done by maid or hired help, I had a privilege upbringing until I came to this country as an immigrant. Then everything started from ground zero.</p>
<p>From my Dad: “Don’t drive to slow”. He meant it literally - he said it just as I set off on a road trip across the Unitied States, but it was his attitude about life in general. He was one to seize adventures and encouraged his kids to do the same.</p>
<p>From my Mom: Love of reading, my first drawing lessons, math as fun patterns and a way of ordering the world not drudgery</p>
<p>From both: a lot of freedom. Whether it was going off alone on a horse in Africa when I was nine to traveling alone in Europe at 16.</p>
<p>My mother also said that is there is something about your spouse or friend that you don’t like…you arent going to to change them. It only gets worse with age. Always wear lipstick when you leave the house. You will never meet your spouse in your living room.</p>
<p>Father, life is 6 to 5 against. And why try? You will probably fail.</p>
<p>Growing up, I have learnt NOT to listen to anybody, including my parents. The best lesson from my parents - do NOT listen to ANYBODY!! I have repeated it many times over to my kids and grandkids. </p>
<p>@bevhills- your dad obviously read Damon Runyon, who said that life is 6 to 5 against, just enough to make it interesting…</p>
<p>I learned a lot from my parents, and like everything in life, some of it was good, some not so good that I ended up spending time breaking from. </p>
<p>Dad-
Taught me to work hard, and instilled the lesson that if I don’t do my job, I am letting other people down (a lesson I wish colleagues would understand).</p>
<p>Never promise something you don’t fully believe you can do</p>
<p>Enjoy what you have, and don’t assume that someone having a lot of things means they are a good person or necessarily smarter or better than you</p>
<p>Question authority for authority’s sake, he felt that obedience to authority where it is assumed is a major mistake.
Reading is a pleasure, not a burden</p>
<p>What someone does for a living doesn’t mean anything, what someone does with their time, with their mind, is a lot more important, and that one is incredibly value, I have learned priceless knowledge from people other’s would overlook</p>
<p>Showed me self reliance, like other people, taught me how to fix things around the house, and to do things like repair cars and understand and appreciate them. Even though I no longer have the time to do it myself, I thank him when cars need repairing and mechanics can’t rip me off. More importantly, he encouraged me to learn, he would never berate me for trying something and not being good at it, and if I had given it my best effort and failed he would appreciate the effort. </p>
<p>In the end, despite our many battles, he also showed he loved me, in many ways, we had some strained times, but we always healed. </p>
<p>Mom-</p>
<p>She always took my side when it came to teachers, and didn’t hold them as gods or deities, and encouraged me to think for myself and not be afraid to try doing things my own way</p>
<p>Always taught me to avoid a fight, to walk away (as did my dad), but also let me know that if I ever needed to defend myself, that the school (that often took the side of bullies and the ones with demerits up the wazoo, don’t ask me why) would be the ones to face her and my father’s anger</p>
<p>Her quirky sense of humor, which allowed her to look at the pompous and laugh, and face down the harder things in life rather than being paralyzed.</p>
<p>That no knowledge is off limits, that there is nothing so dangerous you can’t learn about it. </p>
<p>That you don’t have to take anyone’s word at face value if you have reasons to otherwise doubt it. Applied to religion, politics or even those ‘above you’.</p>
<p>She taught me to cook, and more importantly, to love experimenting in cooking, that it isn’t a stale ‘read the recipe and do it this way’. </p>
<p>Both my mom and dad taught me, more from the way they were, that often the most interesting people are the ones others overlook. Both my parents were of the WWII generation, yet neither of them had problems with people who were gay, or issues with sex at all, and the both of them despised racial segregation and what it did to this country (my dad always said that he admired the black servicemen he came across, that they got the dirtiest jobs, were used as canon fodder far too many times, yet they fought their tails off), and they always encouraged me to try and look at people for the richness they might bring into my life, and I have to admit, they were right. </p>
<p>Then, too, there was my surrogate mom, the therapist I worked with for many years, who helped me see the wisdom of what my parents did but also to recognize parents are not gods and help me work through the less than stellar things they may have taught or done. As a parent myself to a now young adult son, I also realize that he will go through the same exercise, and hopefully he will realize that like my parents, we tried to do the best for him, and if we failed it was because we were only human:)</p>
<p>From my father I learned about investments and the importance of growing capital and not having debt. I also learned about history and developed his love for reading history. I also learned about unconditional love.</p>
<p>From my mom I learned the value of physical fitness. I also learned that once you leave the house don’t question what you wear or how you look. I learned the impact of moodiness on other people and that people can change.</p>
<p>From my mother-in-law I learned the importance of thank you notes and any notes mailed. I also learned how important it is to love my future son-in-laws unconditionally. I observed kindness so pure and sweet in all that she does, that she inspires me to be a better person.</p>
<p>From my father-in-law I learned that sometimes it is important to ask someone to do something for you even if you want to do everything yourself.</p>
<p>From my grandfather-in-law I learned how to listen carefully.</p>
<p>From my grandmother-in-law I learned how to be cheerful and gracious.</p>
<p>From my grandmother I learned about fashion.</p>
<p>From my other grandmother I learned about generosity as she gave almost everything she owned away to immigrants in need.</p>
<p>From my grandfather I learned how not to be frightened by abrupt people.</p>
<p>From my best friend I learned responsibility and consistency and doing the right thing. I also learned from her about “blaming the victim” and the economics of the underserved in our country.</p>
<p>From my other best friend I learned about childrearing and family.</p>
<p>From my husband I learned true love.</p>
<p>From my children I have learned humility, patience and what it means to be a loving, kind and committed family. </p>
<p>From mom-Sleep is overrated. :)</p>
<p>yes musicprnt he did quote Damon Runyon.</p>
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<p>I think my mom thought the same. she only slept about 4 hours a night.</p>
<p>From my mom: to be kind, put yourself in the other person’s shoes, find fun in the small things, forgive mistakes, dance to the music where ever you find it, eat your vegetables and take your vitamins, question the status quo, honor your inner self, practice your instrument, find the inner workings of any person far more interesting than appearances, not care what people think, keep the bathrooms clean. </p>
<p>From my dad: To find humor in the absurd, honor eccentric genius, read obsessively, have a large vocabulary, prize intellectual curiosity, be happy to rough it for the sake of adventure, save money, travel widely, climb the mountains, study the languages, eat good food, not worry, avoid anxiety, love boldly, take care of the details, prioritize travel, appreciate and learn the geology, the botany, the natural history of where ever you might be standing. </p>
<p>My dad used to say, “Most of the world’s work is done by people who aren’t feeling well.” Meaning: stop complaining, do it.</p>
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<p>Your dad’s words should be remembered by everyone!</p>
<p>From both of my parents:
-Life is too damn short to be stressed out all the time. Do what you want to do, do it well, and do it with passion.
-Money can come and go but family is forever.
-Big houses and nice cars are way more effort than they’re worth.
-Everyone deserves respect, no matter how young or old. There was no “respect your elders” in my house and I was not expected to keep my mouth shut when an older relative said something wrong or disrespectful. Everyone was on an equal footing and I carry that over into my work now where I work with adolescents who are often overtly or subtly told to stay in their place. </p>
<p>From my dad:
-Hockey is the greatest sport ever.
-Never, ever stop giving back. We didn’t believe in the whole pull yourself up from your bootstraps thing. You got to where you are through the work of hundreds of individuals, including yourself, and you have a duty to pay that forward. </p>
<p>From my mom:
-Don’t waste money on bad beer.
-Make-up is way more effort than it’s worth. </p>
<p>How not to raise kids.
How not to live your life.
That the best thing I could do was get away from them!</p>
<p>From my mother: your reputation is your most important asset and only you can protect it.
Perhaps most importantly, she taught me how to die and face a terminal diagnosis square on.</p>
<p>From my father: how long people that give others high blood pressure, while always being relaxed themselves can live. </p>
<p>From my dad: who was kinder and more attentive to strangers than his children,I learnt to love my children and place them in order of priority above all others. From his failure to remember any one’s important dates(birthdays great moments etc)except his own learnt to install on my phone and laptop a reminder for just about everyone I know-celebrations and remembrances.The only positive thing I actually did imbibe was to be meticulous and focussed concerning what I considered important.Also to get independent and quickly make my way in life. </p>
<p>From my mum: She passed when I was nine years old ,almost 40 years ago-I learnt to remind my children ,at any given moment how much they are love.
To never go to another’s home uninvited.
To be gracious always.
To always say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’
And to never take for granted a privileged life</p>
<p>calmwhisper, I am very sorry for your loss. </p>