<p>I am mystified. My S is 20. He is working this summer with a guy he was good friends with in hs, who attends a different college. He came home from work the first day and I asked, “How does Friend like Hiscollege?” Reply: “OK, I guess. I dunno. We didn’t talk about it.” </p>
<p>Then he went to another good friend’s house for an evening of video games. I asked, “What’s Videofriend up to this summer?”
“I dunno.”
“Is he working?”
“I think so, we didn’t talk about it.”</p>
<p>In hs, Videofriend went overseas over April Break. A few days after break I asked S, “So how did Videofriend like his trip?”
“I dunno, we didn’t talk about it.”
“Did he decide which college he’s going to?”
“I dunno, we didn’t talk about it.”
This is APRIL of SENIOR YEAR. </p>
<p>These are just a few examples of things that S & his friends “didn’t talk about.” So what DO boys talk about? Besides sports? (I asked my son this question. He said, “Sports. Movies. Stuff.”</p>
<p>(I also have a teenage daughter. She knows every college that her good friends have visited, which ones they liked and why, what their summer jobs are, where they went on vacation and if they enjoyed it…)</p>
<p>I know the answer to this question: Nothing of substance. My H and his college buddies have played cards together several times a year for the past 28 years. They don’t discuss their personal lives (at least not the way we women think of “personal lives”). I learned long ago not to ask how Jack’s kids are doing, where Will’s son is going to college, or how big Ron’s baby was. Face it … guys just ain’t like us! :)</p>
<p>My boys’ perpetual answer to “what did you and your friends do tonight?” is always…“just hung out”. Apparantly hangin’ out does not require a lot of actaul conversation.</p>
<p>Mine don’t talk with their friends either. Just simulate UFC or play Manhunt or card games. And we’re talking rising college juniors here; all at top tier schools and/or in intensive engineering majors. Sometimes I don’t think my son even remembers some of his friends’ names because he has to pause before he tells us where he’ll be when he goes out.</p>
<p>Packmom, my D gives me that “we just hung out” when she comes home too. But she still knows basic info about her friends’ lives! :rolleyes:</p>
<p>I’m not asking intrusive personal questions, just basic general info. And I don’t think he’s avoiding telling me, sometimes he seems almost embarrassed that he doesn’t know. It just doesn’t occur to them to talk about these things… but I know they do talk! </p>
<p>You know, the funny thing is that my ds talked incessantly when he was younger. My 9 yr. old s talks constantly. Somewhere along the way that just stops–and I’m going to try to figure out when because I can’t look back and pinpoint it. I will say this, ds is much more talkative later in the day. He’s positively chatty around midnight–unfortunately if it goes much past that I can’t stay awake. :)</p>
<p>Men scratch their heads and then accept the fact that women are just different. Yet women are always wondering why is it that men are not like they.</p>
<p>Women are more socially communicative due to gender polarity.
And it is very annoying to younger people when their parents want to know everything, so it makes everything worse.</p>
<p>My son just spent six weeks doing an internship with another kid who just graduated from the same high school. They had dinner together three or four nights a week.</p>
<p>Me: “So, where is Richie going to college?”
Son: “Somewhere in Pennsylvania, maybe.”
Me: “Does he know what he’s going to major in?”
Son: “I don’t know. I think he likes computers.”
Me: “Um…so…did he get a scholarship?”
Son: “I don’t know. We never talked about school.”</p>
<p>They were schoolmates for a year, and had about twenty dinners together over the last month and a half, and never talked about school??? Sigh.</p>
<p>The boys and I were talking about this today. Ds1 asked how I knew so much about what was going on at school, and I said, “Because I have friends with daughters.” :)</p>
<p>^^^ Yep, wanna know what goes on at school, be friendly with the mothers of girls. My 9 y/o D will tell me EVERYTHING that is going on in S’s world, her best friends sister is in my sons grade. Otherwise I would know zip.
Teacher gave a surprise baby shower for the teachers assistant last year, I KNEW NOTHING about the $$ collection. Was I embarrassed when I found out after the fact. Got the notice a week before school ended with desk clean out, the collection was in January.</p>
<p>As a son, I can just tell you that we do not “talk” in the sense that you (Parents or women) want us to. We just enjoy the moment and don’t talk about anything outside the topic at hand.</p>
<p>“So, you had dinner with <em>John</em> at the conference, how is he?” (<em>John</em> was college room-mate for 3 years)
“OK”
“Did they pick a name for the new baby?”
“New baby? They’re having a baby? They have an old baby?”
(Yes, the couple has a 2 year old and one due soon…)</p>
<p>I’m afraid it doesn’t get much better with age.</p>
<p>I have 2 kids that are like that…not knowing anything personal about their friends. One is male and one is female. Both the same.</p>
<p>I don’t think boys have nothing to say…my H once said females like to talk on the phone and we had a bet…counted the number of men vs. women talking on their cell phones in an airport. There were more men talking and it was a weekend evening, and so the excuse that men were talking about “business” did not hold up.</p>
</p>