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<p>It is considered much more intelligent when you can respond more originally. You of all people IP can help your son come up with better come back.</p>
<p>Obtuse didn’t catch your attention (you were looking for something that was more closely related to a back end). How about, “I am not a nerd, I am a badasymptote.”</p>
<p>There’s even one in my city. Who woulda thunk it?</p>
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<p>I see we differ on MANY fronts. I don’t think any situation calls for using an offensive, derogatory, insulting term (hence my idea to allow kids to name-call with fruits/vegetables). And if you think calling someone a nerd is on the same level as calling someone a…(well I wont say, but feel free to fill in a vile derogatory insult of your choice) we will continue to agree to disagree. And please, keep this g-rated. Ewww.</p>
<p>Oh lucky you, Lima. You were selected for a “life lesson”. At my kids private school, if you fought back, you got shown the door. You learn that that is not the way to live, even if it means not “defending yourself” according to some definitions.</p>
<p>The term ‘nerd’ is somewhat derogatory, as you can tell from the definition in the dictionary. </p>
<p>When you use it to describe yourself, there is a connotation of self-depracation.</p>
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<p>I have learned how to live in a way that is elegant and stiff lipped (who cares if it is offensive to the commoners). I will now go in peace.</p>
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<p>Wow. You ARE in another dimension, IP. I went to a very strict private school, and conformity to social norms was pretty strictly enforced on a peer level, often with physical discipline. But never what happened at REAL British public (i.e., private) schools:
[Lyrics</a> & Chords: Buggery Club | Jay Foreman](<a href=“http://www.jayforeman.co.uk/lyrics/buggery-club]Lyrics”>Jay Foreman)</p>
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<p>Did you go to a Catholic School, JHS? I think you are totally out of touch with modern day schools (as opposed to boarding schools). If I may ask, how old are you?</p>
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<p>You just make stuff up as you go, don’t you? Pulling at anything you can to try to ‘win’ the argument. I think I’ve not seen a single post of your past 300 that once says you have learned a single thing or slightly modified your viewpoint to something someone has said. </p>
<p>You aren’t even real. Your only goal here is to bait people to keep posting. We should stop feeding this poster. Such a waste of time.</p>
<p>Well said, starbright. This thread is starting to give me a big yawn.</p>
<p>‘conformity to social norms’… hmmm. And to think some of us got on the aluminum Mayflower to escape this very thing… </p>
<p>And, ‘physical discipline’… I take it we’re not talking push-ups here are we :-)</p>
<p>Getting back to the original question…students tend to chose EC’s that they are good at…sports, theatre, music. Doing things we are good at tends to make us feel good about ourselves. As a result I’ve really encouraged my D’s to keep doing EC’s (in some form) in college & beyond. Oldest D didn’t do this & her experience wasn’t what I had hoped. We’ll see with younger D who starts this fall.</p>
<p>Actually, my DD chose ECs that were fun for her. She happened to be VERY good at one…but really was not so good at another…but she loved that second EC and continues to do it recreationally as a college grad. She was not a star…was not the captain…but LIKED the EC.</p>
<p>It occurs to me that when our kids are looking at ECs, the long view is not just whether it will help them get into college, but also whether this is likely to be something they can enjoy doing as an adult. This might be relevant, for example, when picking what musical instrument to play. (For example, if you choose to play bassoon, you will need other musicians in order to fully enjoy playing it later in life–less true with piano or guitar.)</p>
<p>IP: my child never had an EC goal, and no strategy to use her EC to get into college and no future thoughts of pursuing her EC after college. But the value of the EC is huge for the rest of her life. She had one EC, and it was 6 days a week and started at 5am often. And in four years she never missed it, was never late once. So what kind of life skills do you learn from an EC that teaches you to be on time, team work ,commitment, and work hard? That’s the value of some EC’s! Goals and continuing to do it later in life have nothing to do with the value of many EC’s.</p>
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<p>Yes and no. The group experience that comes with playing a band or orchestra instrument (or participating in a team sport) can be something special, and perhaps that offsets the lower likelihood of being able to continue that activity later in life.</p>
<p>When I was a kid, I was already taking piano lessons when the opportunity came up to join the school instrumental music program and learn to play an orchestra or band instrument. My parents were concerned that studying and practicing two instruments would take too much time away from schoolwork, so they made me choose. I chose to stay with piano. </p>
<p>Fast-forward more than 30 years. Both of my kids were already taking piano lessons when the opportunity came for them to start learning a band or orchestra instrument. Both chose to join the band. Although my husband and I did not force a choice, both dropped piano fairly soon afterward. Playing two instruments really was too much. </p>
<p>I envy my kids for the experiences they had as band members. For them, music was a social activity, not a solitary one, and they really enjoyed it. One kid stayed in the band program for six years, the other for 13 years – all the way through her senior year of college. Nobody pressured them to do this.</p>
<p>On the other hand, I wonder whether later in life, my kids will regret not having continued piano long enough to really play competently, so that they could fully enjoy it as a lifetime activity.</p>
<p>Marian, There are no right or wrong choices in life. You can’t look back. Your kids are right, and your parents were right too. Two instruments plus academics is indeed too much. Life is full of hard choices. No one wants to drop something they like. But sometimes they have to.</p>
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<p>You think? Both of my kids studied two instruments (a wind and piano) all the way through high school AND sang in a prestigious auditioned children’s choir too. IP…don’t generalize. For some students…two instruments and academics would be “too much”…that is YOUR opinion and maybe it applies to YOUR kids. Sorry…it didn’t apply to mine…oh and did I say that one of my kids also participated in a sport that was very time consuming? Wow…how did she do this and end up in the top 5% of her class, accepted at the college of her choice…(which she graduated from with two challenging STEM majors). </p>
<p>You know…my kids LIKED their ECs. They were NOT doing them to pad college resumes. One of my kids plays two “endangered instruments” (in addition to piano) and it didn’t help her a speck in college admissions but she continued playing them (and piano) in college. BECAUSE SHE ENJOYED THEM and found them a relaxing pursuit.</p>
<p>Both of my kids continue to pursue ALL of their ECs as college grads.</p>
<p>Oh forgot…my kids also worked part time in high school AND in college while studying two instruments…doing academics, and playing a sport…because they LIKED what they were doing and weren’t doing it because someone told them it would be good for a college or job application.</p>
<p>How about three instruments and voice? My daughter did finally drop back to just guitar and voice lessons. My son currently plays, in different ensembles, guitar, bass, clarinet, and piano. He also played banjo for a show, but I think he was kind of faking it. Some kids really can keep a lot of balls in the air. Indeed, some kids have to be encouraged to do less.</p>
<p>I guess it’s different numbers of instruments for different people.</p>
<p>I wasn’t criticizing people who make different decisions about numbers of musical instruments to play than our family did.</p>
<p>But thumper that (…“There are no right or wrong choices in life. You can’t look back. Your kids are right, and your parents were right too… Life is full of hard choices. No one wants to drop something they like. But sometimes they have to…”) was the must “humanizing” thing I have ever seen posted by IP!</p>
<p>Ok, minus "Two instruments plus academics is indeed too much. "…did I "step in it’?.</p>