<p>Another one just before the change to the law came into effect
[Safe</a> Haven Child Dropped Off Before Change - Local News Story - KETV Omaha](<a href=“http://www.ketv.com/cnn-news/18040341/detail.html]Safe”>Omaha News, Weather and Sports - Nebraska News - KETV NewsWatch 7)
I am appalled. Of course I don’t know what lies behind such drastic choices. There were times when my kids were teens when I wanted to run away from home. I well remember the feelings of utter bafflement and misery I went through with my daughter who was such a good and loving kid preteen, then hit her teens and became someone who hated me and for whom I could say and do nothing right. (my son was a difficult preteen because of learning difficulties and frustration at school but much easier as a teen). But to drive to another State and abandon them? Can you imagine what that must do to these kids? Even when I was going through the miserable years I always loved and wanted the best for them - couldn’t imagine a situation where I would dump one and drive off.</p>
<p>In the stories last week, it was mentioned that many of the kids had psychological problems and that many of the families had other difficult challenges. One many had 8 or 9 children and his wife had recently died. Apparently he didn’t have a support system that he could rely on and left all but one. There are many Americans without decent support systems to deal with crisis and with children with incredibly difficult problems.</p>
<p>In general, the child would be sent back to the social services department in the state where the child lived.</p>
<p>I am more appalled at the state of our social services system where parents feel that leaving their children at the hospital is their only reasonable alternative.</p>
<p>Good point. There does need to be more support for people with difficulties. I have known a couple of parents with real problem kids who just seem to have to flounder around on their own trying to find solutions.</p>
<p>Nebraska, not Nevada.</p>
<p>There are few safety nets anywhere these days & those which are in place are disappearing with the current financial crisis. In our state, they were eliminating the program that was providing health insurance for children who needed it which was funded by insurer & state in a collaboration. It is sad & scary that so few options exist for many–or they know of so few.</p>
<p>Actually, there really aren’t many good services for mental health assistance in many places, including our state. With mentally ill youngsters as young as 16 (I believe), they can refuse treatment and it takes a court order to get them treatment–you have to prove they are an imminent danger to themselves and/or others.</p>
<p>I have seen many families with kids who are substance abusing, assaultive and/or self-injurious , the police and hospitals won’t “keep” them, and their mental health benefits are exhausted. What constitutes “imminent danger” varies with location.</p>
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Oops - I wasn’t sure and meant to go back and check.</p>
<p>I think one would have to be truly desperate to drive all the way to Nebraska to abandon a child. I don’t think I can judge someone who feels that hopeless. I was just talking to my son today about how some people in Michigan are feeling with the impending failure of the auto companies in a state that is already at nearly 10% unemployment rate. He and I agreed that our family was lucky because we would all have a support group with our extended family. It wouldn’t be ideal, but we’d survive. </p>
<p>But with more and more families living far from each other, I can see where if someone can barely support themselves, and have a difficult child or teen, that in desperation with no one to turn to they would go to the extreme of abandoning their child. Why do they have to drive to Nebraska to do so? Aren’t there places in their own state that would care for a child whose parents just cannot cope?</p>
<p>If you met some of the families who dealt with struggling teens and heard their stories, you would completely understand how some one could drop their teen off. It’s hard enough for families with significant financial resources to get help for the teen and family, and if you could not spend the huge amount of money required for therapeutic programs, you don’t have a lot of options. Many of these teens have severe emotional problems often bordering on mental illness, and can be a danger to the family- especially younger siblings.</p>
<p>I suspect most of the parents were desperate. And dropping off kids is a cry for help. It beats mentally or physically abusing a child, or suicide. Would rather read about a drop off and not a death (either child or parent.) I agree that often mental/psychological illness is involved as well. And for many there is no other safety net.</p>
<p>They drove to Nebraska because it was the only state that didn’t have an age limit on dropping children off at a hospital without getting charged with abandonment.</p>
<p>It appears that social services in all of the other states that parents drove from are broken to the point where parents can’t get support for their children.</p>
<p>Hmmm… just noticed the kid in the article is from the county next to mine. Not even 10 miles from here.</p>
<p>One of the young men abandoned by his mom is from my area. Mom says she couldn’t deal with him & couldn’t get any help. I don’t know what avenues she pursued before driving 10 hours to drop him off. A local radio station asked listeners to comment, and quite a few called in to say that they had dealt with hard to handle teens and could get no help. They said our state totally lacks a support system. I can’t speak to the issue, as I don’t have any personal knowledge. However, I also feel that I can’t judge, for the same reason.</p>
<p>I do feel bad for the child, regardless.</p>
<p>As soon as I wrote the post I realized I have known parents that have been desperate and really have been able to get help. A couple I have known have had the financial resources (or have gone into tremendous debt) to try and get private help. Where do you go for help in these situations? I have a young relative whose Mom, Uncles and Grandma have spent a fortune on rehab etc trying to get her straightened out - to no avail. I have a dear friend whose young son is basically a good kid but has developmental delay and behaviour problems related to this. She lives in a school district where they provide a lot of help but she is often at a loss as to how to deal with him. And other than private counselling there is nowhere to turn. And she worries about what will happen as he grows older and bigger.</p>
<p>It would be nice to think that the Nebraska situation would draw attention to a situation that needs addressing. Sadly it will probably not. Even more sadly the abandonment will probably exacerbate these kid’s problems.</p>
<p>Even with normal teen problems (as opposed to psychological/drug etc) I have always been thankful I am lucky enough to not be a single Mom. I can’t think how I would have got through some of the more difficult times without Dad in the picture. (both to support me and to tell me when I needed to calm down/back off etc). You know before I had kids I was a very calm person.</p>
<p>I know several families who have very difficult situations. Their children have been having significant problems–mental and emotional since they were in their teens. These families are “intact” and well-educated and have lots of financial, emotional and other resources they have expended (as well as huge amounts of time and energy) trying to get the help their kids need. All of kids are still floundering and “lost.” None has a clear “path” as to what they want to do, tho both have gotten their GED. One is a single parent and continues to be “lost.” </p>
<p>All of families have very supportive extended families but still can’t figure out how to help the kids find paths that will help them function well in society. These “kids” are now in their early 20s and the families are still struggling.</p>
<p>One thing that would help is parity; mental illness is treated as a separate “other” by insurance, rather than as other health issues, such as chronic illnesses, are treated. Canada’s health insurance system guarantees parity; ours should, too. </p>
<p>Even to get in for diagnostic services can take months, never mind getting treatment after you’ve got the diagnosis in hand! Parity would probably increase the number of counselors/therapists/psychiatrists available, too, leading to faster diagnosis and more available treatment.</p>
<p>I can not judge a parent without having “walked in his/her shoes”. I do work at a school with very challenging children, and have had in my class children who have such anger management issues and other behavior/emotional issues that they can be a danger to themselves and to others (and this is at age 5!). I can only imagine what that looks like or feels like when the child is age 15; when the child can be a serious risk to himself and to others. My heart goes out to parents struggling to deal with their kids without the community and medical support needed to keep the family intact. :(</p>
<p>I do believe that in HI, mental illness is considered to be just like all other chronic health issues (in recent legislation), but there is still stigma & many barriers and too few effective programs.</p>
<p>California has a " parity" law. That’s the state the last kid lived in. In order for it to work, you have to be willing to diagnose everyone with bipolar disorder. This tends to lead to more psychotropics.</p>
<p>You also have to have patients willing to go for treatment & supportive famliies that will help them get there. There are lots of missing things in our society & the Nebraska law is just a sign of the fraying support network – the villages it takes to raise children are overwhelmed.</p>