Do you eat out with your new grad? Just head home? Throw a party to friends and family after the commencement?
Thinking back–at D’s a group of her friend’s parents (including us) had a large dining room reserved and all had a
great time. (just remembered that I was the party planner!).
After the ceremony the next day most everyone left campus by nightfall. We worked! long hours to get her
packed and the apartment clean and then stayed another night and flew home the next day.
All of the big parties --some had a tent with large groups–were the night before.
S was married and so after the ceremony we hosted a luncheon at a Thai restaurant with our family, a few friends, and DIL’s family. Then everyone went home except H and myself. We visited some friends and left the next day.
Went out to eat, then physically moved D out of her dorm/packed her belongings into the car. Then started the drive home (24 hours total). D stayed behind to attend her bf’s graduation a week later.
It depends on whether your graduation is local or a distance and how many people you want to celebrate with. Our kids all attended a college 7-14 hours away and we had their siblings and one or two sets of grandparents. All three colleges (small privates) had a general food/beverage gathering directly after graduation where lots of pictures were taken and the kids mingled with each other and introduced us around. At dinner time, I had reserved a large table at a local restaurant and we went out to eat. For our last grad, last Spring, he was staying in his college town but moving to a different place for the summer so we helped him move some of his stuff the next day before driving home. Only one of my kids had a college grad party back home and that was done later in the summer.
There are so many individual logistics involved here. Things to consider - when does the student need to be fully out of dorms? What is the time that graduation will be over? Is it a small ceremony where you can easily find your graduate or is it a stadium where it will take some time to be reunited? How many family members do you have and how mobile are they? Does the school offer refreshments afterwards that could stand in for lunch? Are restaurants nearby, within walking distance or driving distance and how long will it take to get there (especially if there are lots of cars / traffic)? What are your dinner plans - you don’t want a big late lunch if you plan a nice dinner. Are the attendees local / going home or going back to hotels? Are all the “important” people attending or are there some at home who want to share in the joy but can’t attend?
For D, we were all out of towners but I had 2 attendees with physical issues - my FIL walks slowly with a limp and my father had just had a knee replacement. The college (a smaller LAC) did offer refreshments / brunch In a tent. However, it entailed walking down hills and seating was not sufficient. This just wasn’t tenable for the two grandfathers to stand for so long so we just drove to lunch in the town (which we had already planned/gotten reservations) and then everyone went back to hotels. That night, we had a big, “nice” dinner in the city, had brunch the next morning, revisited the campus so D could say goodbye and flew home.
For S, we were all in-towners except for 2. It was a big graduation in a stadium that took much longer and had many more people milling about and traffic was blocked for a while. So we hung around enough to find the graduate and take pictures, but we sent the out of towners back to their hotel in an Uber and we actually drove quite some distance away and ate a quick lunch at a Panera Bread since we knew everything around the area would be mobbed and we didn’t want to eat too late. The night before we had had a “nice” dinner in the college town and that night we had a super-nice dinner for all in a private room at a restaurant including a few people who hadn’t attended (my MIL and her caregiver - my MIL has Alzheimer’s so we didn’t think she could handle hours at a stadium where she might not know why she was there - and my BIL /. SIL).
A graduation party really made no sense for us. None of us are really social enough to warrsnt it. But of course that’s a great option for other people.
I think you have to take the above considerations into account - there is no one size fits all. I had two very different solutions for twins just 5 weeks apart because the logistics were different.
We had dinner the evening before with a little extended family, morning graduation, and then endless clean out for hours afterwards. Resentment. Couldn’t the ex and his GF do a little of the hands on, rather than taking a walk at that point? He did haul boxes back to his place on the left coast for storage. Luckily one twin did a gap year, otherwise, I’d have had to miss a graduation. Next year, grad school graduations are to take place 8 hours drive apart, on sequential days. Hope I can show up for both!
S’s graduation was on a Sunday morning and then a lunchtime ceremony within his major. We were all of town and arrived on Friday for gatherings with his friends and their families. When it was over we all had to travel home. Best Mothers Day!
I agree that it depends on the college’s graduation schedule. At D2’s school, graduation is always on a Saturday morning and the seniors (other students have already moved out) have to be out of the dorms by 5 p.m. that day. But there are lots of activities on the Thursday and Friday before, so we arrived on Thursday, attended some activities, and took guests and some of D2’s friends out for dinner on Thursday night and Friday night. It might not be too early to make dinner reservations, depending on the size of the town or city.
What I do after attending college graduations?
Sit in traffic.
Well H and I both wept (in traffic)
We went to a late lunch, drove home, then had a family party the next day. S moved out a week or so later, doable since he was only 90 minutes from home.
Thank you for all the replies! It gives me a good idea of what to expect following the commencement. Sorry I didn’t come back sooner. Was trying to finish up the taxes. I apprecaite all your feed back.
For the far away graduation where 12 relatives came to the graduation…we went to a nice restaurant of the graduate’s choice for a mid afternoon luncheon. That evening, we hosted a happy hour at our bread and breakfast for the family and invited kid’s friends and families as well. We had lots of appetizers, and mimosas. Grad choice. Was nice to sit around the pool and relax. This was all our treat.
For my D at GWU, her individual school graduation (where they were called up by name) was Friday morning, then the Phi Beta Kappa ceremony that afternoon, then we all went out to dinner with a group of her friends. The next day we did some sight seeing, had a family lunch and went to a department reception for one of her majors. Sunday morning was the full scale graduation on the national mall with the major speakers. After that we went home. D moved from one apartment to another on her own with help from her friends.
My S did not attend his graduation ceremony; he had been working for a full year (needed to finish his co-op requirement) and did not feel like going back for it.
D has to be out of her on-campus house by 8PM on the day of graduation. I suspect the post-graduation activities will largely be moving and cleaning related.
Agree, it depends on logistics.
For my S (who went to school pretty close by) we went out to dinner near campus with my parents who were able to come to graduation. Then my parents left and we had to move him out of his dorm by like 8PM that night so we all changed and started packing up the car. I did make a trip to campus the week before graduation and got some stuff out early which helped.
My D’s school is a bit further away so we will go out to dinner with her, my S, and my parents (who thankfully are still healthy enough to come) and then we will stay overnight in a motel. After dinner I’m guessing we will bring her back to campus so she can celebrate with her friends. The next day my S will drive my parents home and H and I will move her out and come home.
Eat.
S1’s graduation was far away and in the city where he continues to live, so we got to see his new apartment and spent the afternoon and evening sightseeing with him as guide.
D2’s school actually provided a picnic dinner and entertainment for everyone after the ceremony. Then parents went home, and the grads enjoyed their second night of celebration. She met us for brunch the next morning and we packed the overflow stuff from her car into ours and drove home together.
D3’s school was so close to home that we just came up for the ceremony, went out to her favorite restaurant for lunch, and then she went back to her apartment to spend some time with friends. For her pending master’s ceremony, she’s hinting that she would only like to attend the departmental ceremony on Friday afternoon (dinner reservations need to be made NOW!) and wants to skip the giant ceremony in the football stadium, which is fine with me. Maybe we’ll spend that day touring the area.
EAT. Cigars are optional.
For both my olders, graduation was in the late morning. We flew in the day before so had hotel rooms for both of the kids’ graduation. After the ceremony one college had a “lawn” lunch/reception for grads and parents. Both went off to parties with their friends in the afternoon and with one we went to a “parent and kid” party. After the parties wound down we went to dinner then went back to the hotel and collapsed. Both stayed in their college towns that summer, one had one class he had to take and the other worked but they both spent the summer securing employment and used their college town as a home base. We stayed one extra day to chill out then flew home.
Eat and drink