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<p>It’s often revealing to think about what bothers one and why. It’s not pathology. So it might be interesting to think about why it bothers you when someone makes this implicit assumption “to your face”.</p>
<p>I would have said, “Some of us smart kids came here because of finances. The profs and the grad students are smart, so the possibilities of learning are terrific.”</p>
<p>There are always people around who are just plain ignorant. And that is what it is.</p>
<p>I once worked for a man who told me that I hadn’t gone to a “good” college. I asked him why he felt that way and he replied that it wasn’t a good school because HE hadn’t heard of it before hiring me. I just laughed at that point.</p>
<p>OP, I get the same thing and I graduated 25 years ago. Just smile and say “I loved my years at big state u.” People say dumb things everyday just to hear themselves talk and to try to make themselves sound superior in some way. It sounds as if you have done very well for yourself at the school and that’s all that matters.</p>
<p>Or, you could smile and laugh and absent-mindedly say, “Oh, I KNOW! We completely deserve to have much more intelligent and insightful TA’s! That’s the one main thing.” :p</p>
<p>Or, “Yes, I could see being intimidated teaching such intelligent kids!” :D</p>
<p>No, there’s not much you can do at this stage of the game since you’re going to grad school you have an exaggerated (for IRL) sense of what things like this mean, just because it is currently your world. So, it’s natural to feel sensitive about this issue.</p>
<p>Later in life, it will be other things. There’s always someone out there who says these kinds of things…they’re usually just blah, blah, blahing thougthlessly.</p>
<p>Good luck to you, though, in grad school and beyond.</p>
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<p>If she feels this way, did you ever think to ask her </p>
<p>“if this how you really feel then why are you here?”</p>
<p>“do you feel threatened by these really smart kids?”</p>
<p>You could also say something like “I am sure you didn’t mean what you just said to me” or " I am sure you didn’t mean to insult me, but you did".</p>
<p>By the way, which grad program did you pick-- Tx or FL??</p>
<p>A swift backhand-slap across their eyes should relay the message pretty well</p>
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<p>–Marcus Aurelius, Meditations</p>
<p>Here is how the conversation could play out:</p>
<p>Jane Doe: “I can’t believe he would go to this school for undergrad! He’s so much smarter than that!”</p>
<p>You: “Well, his only other choice was (insert name of the school that the Jane Doe went to) Of course he chose to go here!”</p>
<p>“Everyone has little things that bug them”</p>
<p>I agree. People can be very attached to their colleges. When you feel that way, it’s almost like someone insulting a family member. </p>
<p>I think a big smile and “I love it here!” is the best response.</p>
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If I had a good relationship with the grad student I would say “I just hope I’m smart enough to attend a better university when I’m a grad student”. Doh!</p>
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<p>This is the best advice for anything. It works for everything. Practice it, and by the time you’re 80 years old, things will be rolling off your shoulders like you’ve never seen. In addition to the excellent example above, here’s my favorite:</p>
<p>Jerk: “Wow! You sure look pregnant! Congratulations!”
You: “Actually, I’m not pregnant.” Smile. Keep silent and smiling and making eye contact.</p>
<p>What you do, in effect, is not only throw the ball back in their court, you also offer pleasant silence so the jerk can ponder his/her own gaffe. It works wonders for everything. I actually look forward to assinine comments from jerks, as it gives me more “live” practice with the mantra:</p>
<p>Smile. Keep silent and smiling and making eye contact. They dug the hole. Let them dig out of it.</p>
<p>Excellent advice from olymom.</p>
<p>In fact, you should probably do that even to non-jerky comments or everyday chitchat.</p>