Ya, just hire movers to get rid of things. Then tell her what she made wasn’t as much as what it cost to move things. Hoarders of any age are a real,problem.
My sister paid an outfit to take stuff and sell what they could. I don’t know if she made or lost money on the deal, and I don’t want to know. But the house was emptied.
We talked to an estate sales company in October about taking care of my parents’ stuff. They said you would be surprised what people will buy! My parents have so much stuff it’s going to take them three weeks to organize everything and display it. After the sale, they will dispose of everything that’s left. Their commission is 40%. After spending a week trying to organize stuff, I am thrilled that someone else will be doing it.
Holy Moly.
Do it in stages. Spend a weekend or two throwing stuff out. Spend another weekend or two packing/donating stuff. Consider having a FREE SALE. Advertise it on craigslist or next door.com You’d be shocked what people will take off your hands.
Free cycle too.
We also found that some things put out on the curb the night before trash day were gone by the morning.
But you have to find out what your trash haulers will take also.
Please…get a dumpster. Put the junk in the dumpster.
I volunteer at a charity thrift shop that benefits disabled. We have to PAY to dispose of garbage. So, if you brought trash to us, we would have to pay to get rid of it, thus cutting into the profits for our clients. Please do not do that. Pitch the old towels, the damaged anything, the single glasses and plates, anything with stains, clothes that are dry rotted or stained.
"I work full time. I’m very possessive of my weekends. I have a two-day project of my own that I nixed to go help her. She is wanting to have the sale next weekend. I don’t plan to go help with it. Maybe that’s mean, but every time we have had a garage sale together, she always finds some excuse to leave me there alone. I HATE garage sales with a passion. I’ve never made enough money to make it worthwhile.
After the house is empty, I will be happy to go in and clean the whole thing. I prefer cleaning over selling any day."
@musicmom1215
there you have your answer. Hire someone to haul away EVERYTHING, and when its all gone the house can be cleaned.
Leave your mom OUT of the decision as to what to do with the stuff she has no room for. She had the chance, but did nothing and left you with all of the decisions and work.
Sorry to sound mean, but you do have to take care of your self FIRST, during this difficult time.
Following - looking for ideas for the wars to come.
My inlaws are one more medical issue away from a required emergency move out of their three story 125 year old victorian house plus three car garage with a full second floor plus an antique STORE they own and open occasionally if someone calls them to open it.
The own soooo much stuff. Some of it has value (antique coffee grinder worth $2000), but then again they also collect Beanie Babies.
A couple of summers ago my MIL asked us if we would clean the second floor of the garage. It took a week of arguing about plastic toddler toys and other junk that clearly has no value, but they just want to keep. For the grandkids. There is only one grandchild left who is three years old, and he lives halfway across the country. My FIL had a melt down over a nondescript basket that we had in a “donate” bag. It belonged to HIS mother, who died 30 years ago. after a week we had gotten rid of the actual trash, donated a bunch and tidied up the space. But it wasn’t even close to cleared out. The emotional exhaustion is not worth it.
I vote for take the things you really want to keep, and hire an estate sale company to deal with the rest. If nothing has worth, call a junk hauling service and get rid of it.
Yeah, I spent one day cleaning out the closet in my old bedroom and three days cleaning out my mom’s closet. Two more days were spent cleaning out the bedroom and another small room. Mom and Dad had to look at every. single. item. Even CDs they hadn’t listened to in years. Those five days exhausted me. And we have not even scratched the surface. There are still rooms and rooms to go, plus a huge basement. That’s when I cried “uncle” and called for professional help.
Our son needs to thank us for doing our first downsizing- the next one will come later in life when we go from house to apartment (then he gets any of his stuff we still have).
My 92 year old father has the small house I grew up in- I imagine no one will want the decades old electric meters in the basement from his days as a salesman to electric utilities that will need to be cleared out when he dies. Furniture et al should hit the dumpster. We will find numerous slips of paper with the same info- phone numbers and the like. He is stubborn et al- and losing his memory. He kept using threadbare towels instead of the set we gave him for many years. Parents can be worse than two year olds.
One house we looked at had closets so stuffed with clothes I can’t see how they were ever used. Did not like the house and they should have culled so much before putting it on the market.
Oh, I should have mentioned that we are also hiring a company to come in and help my parents figure out what to take to their assisted living facility. The people will have the apartment floor plan and be able to tell how much they CAN take. They will take care of the entire move, too. My sister and I will NOT be involved in this process.
Did this in the fall. Spend every weekend from June to September, “going through” the treasures that had accumulated since the 50s. Your parents have already moved, so they have what they want most already. We called a tag sale company. They gave my parents a percentage of the sale proceeds and took everything they did not sell with them, probably took it to the next sale or trashed it. We really didn’t care.
After my father died, my sister and I had to do this from far away.
First, we took the few things we wanted while we were visiting my father’s home town to make funeral arrangements. (Since we were the only beneficiaries of his will and neither of us objected to the other’s choices of things to take, this was entirely ethical.)
Then, we asked the realtor for advice. She gave us the name of a person who does tag sales. The tag sale person had contacts with charities and people who take stuff to the dump. She held her tag sale, then called in a charity that wanted some furniture that didn’t sell, then arranged for the trash hauler to take the rest. She had to pay the trash hauler, which ended up costing almost as much as she had earned on the tag sale (after her commission). So we broke about even. I consider this an excellent outcome.
If I had been doing this on my own, I would have skipped the charity part. I might have also skipped the tag sale and just hired the trash hauler. But my sister is a more responsible and thrifty person.
Just went through this with my parents too. We also worked in stages. Donated a bunch of stuff, family took what they wanted and then we had an estate agent take care of the rest. Ours took 40%. Still was worth every penny.
I gave all to,charity plus $70:for them to take away a large couch. This was after I had friends come to take what they wanted.
I feel,for,people whose parents are still in their homes. They value their possessions so much, and it is so,painful,to part from them.
My sister decided to send me a set of longhorns that have been sitting in my parents’ basement since they moved to the house in 1973. When my dad saw what she was doing, he protested - “I might want those some day!” Sis being sis, laughed and said, “I don’t think so.” Reminds me that I need to follow up, though, because I haven’t received anything yet…
Follow up: My sister texted, “Oh, I’m supposed to get them to Maine?” Sigh. Whatever.
A couple years ago I was joking with my father that he wasn’t allowed to die until he had cleaned out his basement. The next time I visited the basement was nearly cleared. I told him that I was worried that there was something he wasn’t telling me, then I thanked him profusely.
My mother’s basement is filled with stuff from her in-laws. Luckily that is less likely to end up being my challenge.
You can put a “curb alert” on Craig’s List and also list free things on freecycle, next door and even facebook’s marketplace. People will gladly come get it. I did this before I moved because it bothers me to throw out things that someone else might find useful. Vets and animal shelters will love those old towels, and the dogs will love them to death.
Good luck and stay sane!
My Dad had a lot of stuff in a storage unit. I arranged with the storage unit manager that he could keep anything I left behind and take care of it however he liked. He agreed to this probably because there was some furniture he could sell and I had given him some antique tools already. H and I took care of all the boxes of papers and photos, I didn’t want to deal with old furniture that I couldn’t use! I consider myself lucky for now… we still have H’s parents to deal with.
Went over to help for a short while today. Wrestled a mirror away from her. haha.
Told her I was not helping with the actual sale but I will do the painting she wants to do before selling.