How could she/they possibly arrange a sale of this house full of stuff in a weeks time? Did I read that wrong?
They moved out March 2. She has been working to get ready for the garage sale since then. As soon as the house is cleared out, they will put the house up for sale. After cleaning and a little painting, of course. My mother smoked all her life until about two years ago and the walls in the room where she spent most of her time are yellow. Ugh.
We spent two months repainting our house from heavy smokers. Literally everything hanging on the wall left a shadow from the smoke. Had to Kilz every inch of the place!
All this talk about getting people to part with possessions that are dear to them reminds me of when my D was little and outgrew her clothes or toys that she loved. I’d take digital pictures of everything that she loved so she could look at them and remember any time she wanted to, and we gave the clothes/toys to someone who could use them, thereby sharing the joy those things gave us. Wonder whether this would help your mom.
To derail just a bit: As a property manager I have had to deal with how to deal with smoke in the walls when smokers moved out. There was one older couple that were chain smokers in their apartment for 30+ years then they went to a nursing home.
We used kilz twice and painted twice. The place still stank.
We didn’t know what to do and said something to our carpet cleaners, wondering if they had any ideas. We had already ripped out the old carpet and were going to put in new after the painting was done.
They told us about a machine that sucks all of the oxygen out and will suck smells out of walls. I am not sure what the machine is called, the carpet cleaners had one and rented it to us for a weekend. We shut all of the windows then turned the machine on as we were leaving on a Friday and let it run all weekend. We went in on a Monday morning, left the door open while we held our breathe, turned the machine off and opened all the windows to get air back in.
It took care of about 90% of the problem. Another coat of kilz then more paint took care of the rest.
Now back to your regular programming.
It’s harder to do when your parents are still alive.
After my mother died, we three kids took what we wanted, then had BIL’s family come in and take what they wanted. Then we called Goodwill to come and take anything they wanted. They said they would only be able to fill one truck (and they did). Finally, I got a dumpster and called a local moving company to haul the remainder to the dumpster in the driveway. The dumpster was about $400 (largest size) and the movers another $400 for 3 hours. And then the house was empty.
The estate sale people said after we kids took our stuff that there wasn’t enough left to justify their time. They want to sell $10K.
I can also tell you…the contents of the whole house are discolored and smell of smoke…even clothes in closets on other rooms. Sadly, when we get clothing donations like this…we can’t sell them.
For the clothing, contact a place like goodwill and see if they get money by the pound for cloth items. If so…donate them there.
All dishes and any things in the house will be discolored. Pictures on the walls, area rugs, curtains, and all the furniture…especially the cloth covered.
You may find that much if this won’t be able to be sold at all.
We got a beautiful yellow teapot as a donation. The top needed to be wiped off…so I did that…well…that teapot was really…white. Yuck.
My experience is that you get pennies on the dollar for anything sold (regardless of value) so your mom would’ve ended up angry had the estate seller been available. There is no easy answer, but if your mom won’t let go of anything, she’ll have to pay to move it to a storage unit.
We sent a large truck full of furniture to auction- we made a very small amount of money but we felt that was better than paying to move and store it. In addition, we paid close to $1000 to have a 2 car garage full of furniture, clothes, etc hauled away.
One word of advice: if you have time, check dresser drawers and pockets of clothing for hidden cash. I found several hundred dollars that my dad hid in multiple spots when I helped my parents downsize.
My mom is all for selling most of it. That has been the problem over the years. If she thinks she can maybe sell something for a dollar, then she refuses to give it away.
She will have her sale next weekend and make her dollars, then we will donate or haul away the rest.
When my aunt went to a nursing home, her kids were getting rid of her stuff. They were giving it away or hauling it off. My mother could not stand that so she took a formal dining table and huge hutch because it was too nice to throw away. I’m pretty sure it’s not going to sell. Nobody has formal dining rooms anymore and it is not the going style. My aunt had money and I know this set was expensive, but I wish my mom had just let my cousins dispose of it.
Without reading ahead answers, my mom’s “living estate sale” was complete i.e. the auction company completely wrapped it up. Whatever was not sold was donated or trashed.
We literally just did this with my (deceased) father’s house. The “for sale” sign went up on Tuesday. Nearly 60 years in that house so it was full of childhood memories.
In our case, the kids (i.e., me and my sibs) took what keepsakes we wanted, then we gave the grandkids a crack at it. Then we donated. We didn’t do a garage sale. They aren’t worth it, in my opinion.
Obviously the difference with you is that your mother is still here and trying to look over your shoulder and micromanage. I agree with others who advised to not let her be around when things were sold/donated. We gave stuff away that certainly had value but it wasn’t worth it to us to deal with it. Your mother would probably take such behavior as a commentary on her personally.
One caution: be VERY careful when you are going through any paperwork. Don’t just shred it all. My father had a trust, but when my brother was going through a banking file, he found references to an account which was not listed in the trust. He called the bank and sure enough, it was a valid account, Apparently my father had forgotten about it, and my brother so easily could have shredded it, and we would never have known. My portion alone paid two quarters of tuition for my son!
I have a friend who found significant amounts of cash and uncashed checks in unusual places. Ditto jewelry. Be aware, esp if a parent is forgetful or worried about items being stolen.
I got a china cabinet from a friend whose parents smoked. Used Murphy’s Oil Soap to remove the residue. Wasn’t til I started getting incredibly jittery that I realize the nicotine picked up from the rags I was using to clean was getting absorbed through my skin. It took forever and a lot of elbow grease to clean that thing. WEAR GLOVES.
Bonus: when my kids saw the yellow/brown nicotine on the old tags and realized that gets into your lungs, they became lifetime non-smokers on the spot.
“Obviously the difference with you is that your mother is still here and trying to look over your shoulder and micromanage.”
My mother is very much in charge of cleaning out the house and she will probably be the only one there to work the sale. So far, I have climbed on ladders and removed things from upper shelves and helped moved tables around and that is all. I am trying to stay out of it. At first she wanted my help until I told her to donate it all. Now she’s afraid I will actually do that. lol
She was torn about getting rid of the roaster pan. How will she ever cook the turkey without it? Same with another large dish that she only uses at holidays. I told her that’s what foil pans are for. I think she is keeping the roaster anyway.
44 - that must have been an ozonator. It does not suck all oxygen, but it converts some of it into a very reactive compound ozone that reacts with and "zaps" smell-causing stuff. Costs about $200 on Amazon. Did wonders to rid the attic of rat urine stench.
I think most restoration companies use an ozone generator when there has been a fire in a house. This explains how it works: https://www.servprowestorange.com/blog/post/85826/fire-smoke-damage-restoration/have-smoke-odor–you-need-an-ozone-generator
Be careful with ozone generators around asthmatics or folks with sensitive airways. Ozone can trigger lung attacks.
Yes…look through everything. When I was dealing with my mom’s belongings, I found a very pretty diamond pendant in a box of papers. I didn’t even know she had one. There were two 14 k gold chains in the same small envelope.
I helped clean out a friend’s place…and we found many, many thousands of dollars worth of bonds stuffed in a drawer, plus some valuable stock certificates.
So…make sure you look. Yes, it’s a job…but do so.
Also will add my voice to checking nooks and crannies. My mom apparently starting hiding her good jewelry when her ALZ was progressing so she wouldn’t lose anything. We found some very expensive items tucked away in the most bizarre places. When my grandfather died, we found tens of thousands of dollars in cash in pockets, taped to the top of the dishwasher, inside pots and pans, etc… (he was “suspicious” of banks).
Our local animal shelter will take old towels and sheets.
Yes, our animal shelter welcomes sheets and towels as well.