So does anyone here physically hide money around the house?? My father did, but he was born in 1909, so a different mind set.
My 90 plus year old father hides money around the house. Sis and I found a huge wad of cash once and convinced him to take it to the bank. But I think he is starting all over again. Much of it is in coins, hidden in little jars, bowls, etc. around the house.
And yes, adding to the “be very careful when going through things and shredding documents” pointers, we found the deed to D’s house just tucked in with some worthless papers in the basement.
I have cash in the house ever since a hurricane hit and cash was king. Not hidden aournd but in my desk… Tbe kids know where it is. We have coin catch alls in a couple of places. But my grandmother had bonds taped under cabinet and dresser drawers. They had long ago matured and weren’t earning any more. When we moved her into a retirement home we had to turn everything upside down and shake out all books to check for bonds and cash. It had a lot to do with living through the crash and Great Depression I believe.
My older brother is highly distrustful of many things and people, banks and trust administrators included. He took a huge tax hit and cashed out his portion of our parents’ trust when our mother died 10 years ago. I have no idea what he did with it. He lives a very simple, inexpensive life. My sister and I think his money is probably buried in coffee cans on his property. I hope his long term girlfriend or his sons know where it is. He is 70 years old now.
W recently had to sell house where her mother and sister both lived. Her mother has passed away some years earlier, then sister passed. MIL had stuff dating back to 50s. An inspection of house showed they were hoarders. It was just awful. Mother/sister had several cats/dog, both were smokers. Stuffed piled on stuff, piled on stuff; boxes were packed with smaller boxes with boxes inside the smaller boxes. W made decision to hire liquidators to empty house. It took 8 guys, 8 hours, two moving trucks to empty house, then 5 more guys had to unload stuff, then liquidators eventually cleaned, sold stuff, sent a check. From $$ standpoint, the estate was the fully paid for house. It was just more important to get house empty, ready for sale than to go through stuff that W knew had little to no value.
@TatinG
I was sent up before liquidators emptied house to get family pix, financial documents, etc. Although I did find the deed (safe deposit box), I think at least in our area, deeds are worthless documents as what matters is what’s recorded. Title insurers look at what’s recorded not what’s written on some piece of paper. I’ve bought and sold houses and never had to produce a deed or look at a seller’s deed. Out of curiosity is having a deed important to have in other parts of country?
My father remembers the bank failures during the Depression. He feels safer having cash hidden. But he forgets where it is, which worries me. Once he went to a car dealer to trade cars and at the last minute remembered that he had cash tucked under the trunk liner near the spare tire.
My late father save cash and interesting old bills and coins. I am so thankful he believe in safes and orderly storage boxes in the safe. Still, it freaked me out to see ammo boxes full of bundles, silver dollars, and the gold-colored Susan B Anthony dollar, etc. We took the newer money to the bank and left the crazy coins and collectibles for another day. Daddy did believe in banks but this was a collector thing for him, it think, born out of childhood poverty. He also had a big stash of wrapped hotel cups from his time as a trucker. Yes, it is useful but YOU don’t need keep it. I glad my mother wants the oddball stuff gone and is looking forward to space.
OP - I would check the new apartment to see if there is really any space for decorative pieces and then try to convince them that it would be such a gift to pass along things that would ruin their new home. There are people who would be grateful for something pretty at a good price. (And we need them to come get this crap, fast! LOL)
I’m glad to read I’m not the only one with an eccentric father. Dad keeps those golden Sacajawea dollars in medicine bottles. They fit exactly. Stacks and stacks of them around the basement. One day, sis and I will have a tremendous job searching and cleaning and taking coins to the bank before anyone is allowed into the house for hauling stuff out.
Dad knows what a job this is going to be for us but says ‘You can do all this after I’m dead’. He has no interest in throwing anything out now.
And yes, like TQfromtheU, I think it is an after effect of childhood poverty. He hoards soaps from hotels, those little shampoo bottles from hotels. If he sees something on sale at WalMart he buys in mass quantities. My MIL did this also. She had piles of paper towels and bundles of toilet paper rolls, dozens of bottles of hand cream.
I just hope I learn from all this and don’t repeat this when I am old.
My father was using the medicine and vitamin bottles to sort random coin by dates, We took all of that to the bank too. Introduce your father to ammo boxes and a safe. Safer and less bother to transport. If he figures out how much will fix in a box, let me know. You are right. Sacajaweas are the gold ones and SBAs are the multi-sided ones. Man, it was like a treasure hunt. My adult niece was helping us and just the sight and hearing about it has impacted us all. My dad was generous, personally frugal, and had work since he was a child. We all thought, what’s my excuse?
We went through my dad’s stuff, took what we wanted or needed, rented a dumpster & threw away a bunch of garbage, then called an estate sale person who took everything out of the house for a very modest lump sum.
We were content with this arrangement and had no interest in having people at the house for an estate sale or anything like that. We just wanted that stuff gone, with minimal effort on our part.
I hope when the time comes that I don’t feel like I am somehow not respecting my late mother when I give away or trash her grandmother’s heavy dark Victorian furniture. I know she prized it and expected I would keep it. I love you Mom but I just don’t have the space.
@HImom wrote:
If there is a charity like a church that will pick up and give the items to people who need it, that’s ideal. My relative did that and was happy. Anything that didn’t sell at the garage sale was picked up by the church to gas a free store that allows folks to shop there at no charge. I believe she got some minor tax seduction but these days if no itemizing not needed.
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Am I the only one curious about this tax seduction for getting rid of junk? Even if it’s only a minor tax seduction, still sounds interesting.
Har har— thanks for catching my typo. Deduction, of course, but since most use the larger standard deduction, harder to get excited about a potential tiny deduction.
I wouldn’t be so quick to actually throw out real Victorian furniture. At least give it to a charity so that someone who values it can have it. Take a look at Chairish and 1stDibs online before assuming that no one wants stuff. If furniture was good in the first place, depending on the style, you’d be amazed what people are able to sell it for. (Of course, most furniture wasn’t great to start out with.) And yes, plenty of people DO have formal dining rooms, whether or not they regularly use them! 
My mother has always been ruthless about getting rid of “stuff.” The only childhood momento I have is a set of English lead cavalrymen that I took to college with me. Two of the times they lived abroad they rented the house and put all of their stuff in storage, so both times there were significant cullings. Even now, she regularly gives stuff to the Vietnam Vets. She has a house full of genuinely valuable antique furniture–18th century and some Regency–that we actually want, as well as an inordinate amount of Wedgwood, Minton, and the like, that we also want. Persian rugs, Waterford chandelier, et al. No one ever smoked in the house. Recently she told me that when she dies she does NOT want to have people tromping through the house in an estate sale. (She’s 96.) I told her not to worry about it, LOL. Although I’m sure the estate sale people would love to have the opportunity…
Reading stories like this makes me thankful to my parents for having downsized to a two bed/two bath condo. I am forever grateful and determined to live a simpler life with lesser things. I promise not to put my own kid through such an ordeal.
I can’t imagine having to make decisions about someone’s stuff with them looking on, OR being the person whose stuff is being disposed of.
Just a horrible situation all round.
I’ll add my story of older relatives stashing and forgetting about valuables. FIL was an avid collector/investor of silver and gold US Mint coins. He kept them (we thought) in his study and had a detailed ledger of his collection. Shortly after he died, MIL had the coins assessed and then sold. MIL lived for another 16 years and after she passed, H and I, his siblings and spouses all spent a week clearing out the house and like many of you, found that we were dealing with somewhat of a hoarding situation.
I was working in the bedroom one evening emptying the drawers of FIL’s 3-drawer nightstand and decided when done, to put it out on the curb as my SIL had just posted about the “free to anyone who wants it” curbside furniture on the community Facebook page. This was a cheap, pressboard nightstand so I was confident I could move it by myself. Well, it was heavy. Very, very heavy. I took out the drawers and moved them to the curb but the nightstand itself was still way heavier than it should have been for pressboard furniture. Much swearing ensued as I had to keep stopping to rest. Right before I got to the curb I stopped one last time and as I set it down, what I thought was the bottom, cracked and out spilled packet after packet of US Mint coins. Turns out, there was a false bottom, kind of hiding place accessed from the back of the nightstand that FIL had discovered and used to store some of his treasure (which he never logged in his ledger for whatever reason). We found a similar stash in MIL’s nightstand and we are all positive she never knew. All told, $15K worth of coins that almost were set out on the curb. Moral: Check before discarding.
Our parents’ household stuff has little cash value, despite their protestations of “how much it cost”, or how “collectible” it is. China, silverware, “brown furniture”, knickknacks and framed prints, all destined for Goodwill. Only if you’re parents have good condition collectible mid century modern or otherwise high-value used furniture (Herman Miller, Fin Juhl, Knoll, etc) do they have reasonable chance of getting decent return on sale. Ditto re artwork and jewelry, etc.
My thrifty relative had two generations of household stuff, tight time-frame, and was convinced house-sale run by estate-liquidation company would generate big bucks (at least $5,000). Relative wouldn’t let any other relatives pick more than two items from cache, not even own kids, even though not directly related to 1st household (my grandparents), but wanted my weekend help too. Sale proceeds $600, incl $150 for a mint vintage long mink coat, 25% to company. Contract also said estate sales company owned all remaining unsold items, would remove at no-cost, to leave house “broom clean”. Relative furious, felt cheated, but no recourse.
I’d google some articles that flag low resale value of most used furniture and household stuff. Read them to your mother. Craigslist only works if prices are at “give-away” levels, and items are of genuine interest to folks who ■■■■■ Craigslist. A lot of old stuff has little to no value to anyone else.
Don’t forget to value your own time and labor expended towards this house clean-out. Most seniors have no idea what a time-sucker it can be.
I’m in a different camp regarding downsizing. I’ve told my children they can take or get rid of anything when I’m gone (or if I have to move to a LTC facility). Yes, the better gift would be if I did the downsizing for them. But it would be much more painful for me to part with the memories that go with the “stuff” (the pottery my Aunt made for me; the jewelry my dad gave me, the sweater my mom knit for me, etc.). It means nothing to my kids. And hopefully by giving them permission to dispose of all, there will be no guilt involved either. Donate, sell whatever. It should be much faster and easier for them to do so all at once, than for me bit by bit.
I don’t think I’m a hoarder, but I do have a lot of projects I’m still waiting to start! :-/
@kjofkw I hope you discuss this with your children. My FIL has declared over and over that, “Once I’m gone I don’t care what you do with it all!” He thinks he is funny. He refuses to get rid of or sell anything.
His children, step children and their spouses (18 all told) are not amused. The consensus is that he is selfish, stubborn, and not respectful of his family. He bought it, he owns it, it should be his to dispose of.
We all owe it to our loved ones to take care of paring down our own stuff if at all possible.
There are a number of articles about “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning”, which describes the philosophy of adults taking on the responsibility of dealing with their own stuff as a gift to their loved ones.