<p>it’s not mine.</p>
<p>Going back to Campbellsville reminds me of who I am and of who I am not. In Campbellsville, Kentucky, where my grandparents live, conservatism is palpable. It manifests itself in many ways: people erect wooden boards on their laws with the Ten Commandments written on them. There is a beauty pageant for every girl age four to seventeen. At the county fair in August, the rides are always creaky, with paint chipping off and an odd red light that doesn’t light up. On any given day, the same regular crowd of men sits in Jeff’s Deli, wearing baseball caps, ordering the usual. Things are old. But some things aren’t grand-old or antique-old; they’re just stale, outdated, washed up.</p>
<p>I used to think that I felt alienated from Kentucky because of the oldness and the conservatism. Now I realize that it’s more than that: it’s that Kentucky is drenched in SLOWNESS. The people walk slowly, talk slowly, breathe slowly. They Sunday-drive every day, and their cars seem to exhale onto the road below them. They drag their ancestors with them, treasuring the past the way Northerners treasure the future. They know exactly who they are. In Kentucky, the people reject change, as if to accept it would be to relinquish their heritage. All of this slowness can take a toll on you. It can suck the momentum out of you, it can STAY you, and that’s probably why so many people never, ever leave.</p>
<p>Kentucky makes me long to move forward, to progress from the narrow-minded, out-dated traditional values. But sometimes I think that maybe an outdated tradition is better than no tradition at all.</p>
<p>I live in Newton Massachusetts, where I cannot find my tradition. People here seem to be sitting on the edge of their seats, hardly able to wait for progress. Five minutes away, in Boston, there are prestigious schools and fancy, famous law firms on every corner. This is the seat of liberal thinking. But all of the thinking can jade you. I encounter so much skepticism, especially about religion. When I seek assurance about important spiritual things, when I begin to doubt that there is any kind of divine force regulating reality, there is nothing in Newton to grasp onto, no well of faith to replenish me. That’s when I long for unfaltering, faithful, devoted Kentucky. I long for its simplicity and pace.</p>
<p>The people here race to work, rush home, and dash off to Cape Cod or Maine on weekends…</p>
<p>I want to be rooted somewhere. I want to belong somewhere. I want a place in the world to be a little part of me, and I want to carry it with me to other places.</p>
<p>Here’s what I’m looking for: I’m looking for the security, the familiarity, and the heritage of a small town. I’m looking for the free thinking, the openness, the accepting and welcoming attitude of Newton, of a big city.</p>
<p>What is __________ like?</p>