<p>Growing up in Los Angeles was a huge experience in itself because of the vast cultures. When I walk down the streets of L.A. I see all kinds of people from different backgrounds., stores, and communities. Ever since I was little I had friends of all ethnicities which makes L.A. such a interesting place to grow up in. Los Angeles has helped me open my eyes to all types of cultures and it has better prepared me for the real world, with the growth of communications and trades from all different nations.
Another big impact of my life was growing up in a Korean family. Growing up in a Korean family the first thing i learned was education, education, education. My mother emphasized to me how important an education was and what would happen if i didnt get one. I remember long nights finishing up homework and coming home late from my after school class.
The biggest reason I decided to myself that my education was really important was my father. Some days he would work from 6:00 a.m. to 1:00 a.m. because of his late shifts. He was working himself to death it felt like for a pay that wasnt that great which really worried me. I would ask him why he would work like that if he wasn’t even getting pay double for overtime. He would reply, Its for you and your brother, not the pay. This really touched me and motivated me to study hard for a better life. My father would tell me how he never got to go to college because his family back in Korean couldnt afford it and he promised himself that would never happen for me and my brother. Seeing this and hearing my whole life how education was important, I knew it is the only way for a better life and high school is the first step where I was going to start my journey for that better life.
My school also helped me get through education and high school itself. I attend LACES ( Los Angeles Center for Enriched Studies), which is a magnet school that is 6th grade all the way to the 12th grade. Laces is a very small school which I believe helped me survive high school and gave me a better education. Being around the same people from 6th to the 12th grade helped me create a strong bond with the people in my grade. Going to school was no problem for me because it felt just like home with people I am comfortable with. My school environment made it a lot easier for me to buckle down and get the education that i needed without all of the school drama I hear about from different schools.
The world I come from has shaped me into who I am and what I can become. All of my experiences has helped me get to where I am today, a senior about to head off to college. I wouldn’t take any of my experiences and obstacles I faced back which helped shaped me to who I am today.</p>
<p>It’s a nice story, but… Adcoms decide about your fit at the school partly through all the essays- they should show your strengths, character and other qualities the school wants in its students. It’s not about describing what your life has been like.
Usually, students choose a turning point, some particular challenge they faced; how they worked to overcome it and how that made them stronger and inspired them. Think about that. Also, admitting you needed LACES: Watch out for warning flags. “…it felt just like home with people I am comfortable with” - will you succeed in the new environment, where it won’t be familiar or “small” and there may be “drama?”</p>
<p>Juss wondering what would be a good way to change the part about my school to make it better, and any other things i sohuld take out or edit in my essay? thank you!</p>
<p>I don’t know if it was a good idea to post it publicly for EVERYONE to see.</p>
<p>Edit: Okay, I just read your essay and to be frank, there are a lot of grammatical errors. They are usually problems with tenses/minor spelling errors. I think you should have your English teacher or someone that you know that is a good writer to look at your paper. </p>
<p>Also, I agree with lookingforward. I think you shouldn’t tell a life story, but try to focus on one topic that changed your character.</p>