<p>My daughter’s boyfriend is turning 22. I got him a birthday card and a gift card to a mid-priced restaurant. But I’m debating how to sign the card. I guess I’m going with Mr & Mrs Lafalum, since that’s what he’s been calling us, but it got me thinking… at what point do they cross the line to first-name-with-adults? Not just for romantic friends, but for any of my early-20’s kids friends.</p>
<p>I work with a few folks who are straight out of college or grad school, and obviously we’re on a first-name basis. But for my kids’ friends, especially my with my son who just graduated from college… when do you say, “Hi, I’m Firstname” or, “Please, call me firstname” ?</p>
<p>I’ve been doing it with my kids’ friends since… middle school, I guess. I have a different last name from my kids, and I realize that it is confusing for them. So I just say, “Hi, I’m <firstname>, <kid’s> mom”.</kid’s></firstname></p>
<p>i introduce myself by my first name but D’s friends almost always call me Mrs. A few call me by my first name. i just let them call me what they feel comfortable. i did start a new thing this year though, since both kids are out now and i talk to them on the phone, etc i refer to my H by his first name rather than ‘your father’ or ‘dad’. it just sounds more grown up and not defining him by a role. i asked he do the same and he has.</p>
<p>I find that most young people stick with mrs justforthis to be polite…if I get to see them on a regular basis I will likely say please call me…first name…my H prefers to be called Mr. justforthis by everyone under 30…don’t think there is a right or wrong…I also have kids I’ve known since they were 3 still calling mrs. because they are so used to it, they feel weird (their words not mine) calling me by my first name.</p>
<p>My daughter’s friends call me by my first name as do my oldest son’s friends. My middle boys’ friends mostly call me Mrs. Husband’s name and my youngest son’s friends are a mix. I think the difference is that middle boys’ friends, like them, are all Boy Scouts.</p>
<p>In elementary school days, I was “First Name” (or, in Brownies and Sunday School, “Miss First Name”). In middle/high school, I was “Mom.” Now that they’re adults, they’re calling me “Mrs. M.” Are we going backwards? </p>
<p>Just this past summer, I started calling my good high school friend’s mother by her first name. I guess by your 40th high school reunion, it’s time…</p>
<p>No good answer. I probably like “mom last name” best, but I have a diiferent last name from dad and the kids, sort of don’t like, okay, detest “Mrs”, and both H and I are often either the kids or their parents “doctor”…</p>
<p>They call me “MRS. Smith,” and I prefer that. I’m pushing 50, but I still call my parents’ neighbors Mr. and Mrs. because that’s what I called them when I was a kid. It doesn’t matter that some of them are 10-15 years older than I am. They aren’t my peers. I wouldn’t ever feel comfortable calling them by their first names. In the same way, I wouldn’t feel comfortable being called “Susie” by someone who called me “Mrs Smith” when he/she was a teenager 10 years ago. (Just because you got older doesn’t mean you can get “familiar” with me!)</p>
<p>Most young adults in our state call folks that are 20+ years older than them, “Auntie” or “Uncle” or similar. That’s just how things are done around here. It was very hard for me to figure out what to call the attorneys when I joined the law firm. Some were dad’s golf buddies and they were all >20 years older than I was. Calling them Mr. or Uncle would be weird, since we were all collegues, so I tended not to call them anything whenever possible; eventually, I became more comfortable calling them by their 1st name. It was also tough for the secretaries who were often 20-30+ years older than me to know what to call me. They called all the male attorneys “Mr. AttorneyName” but didn’t quite know what to do with me, as I was the 1st female attorney they had ever hired. My staff introduce themselves to the patients by 1st name as well.</p>
<p>Even now, the young student volunteers often call me “Auntie HImom,” as they haven’t figured out what else to call me. Most of my staff is not too different in age from me, so we all call one another by 1st name.</p>
<p>Some of it depends on the setting we meet people in, as the post above notes. It just feels odd calling people whom you met as a kid by their 1st name & having them call you by your 1st name. That is occurring with me & some of the people I serve are 30+ years my senior but we all seem to be on a 1st name basis.</p>
<p>When I was little, I used to call all of my mom’s friends Aunt or Uncle so-and-so. To this day (and I’m 60), I still call them Aunt Kay or Uncle Bill. It would feel weird to call them by their first name now.</p>
<p>But my sons’ friends call me by my first name and I’m fine with that. In fact, my nieces and nephews call me by my first name, too – no “Aunt Patsmom”.</p>
<p>I had a freshman history professor, let’s call him Dr. George Smith. A few years later, he was hired to teach at the college where my Dad taught, he and my Dad became friends, and he would often visit in our home. I routinely called him “Dr. Smith,” even though he repeatedly asked me, “Call me George!” I just COULD NOT bring myself to do it!</p>
<p>Wow, so many of you are so formal! My kids’ friends have called me by my first name for as long as I can remember. Some of them back as far as nursery school.</p>
<p>^All my kids best friends call me by my first name. The one’s who don’t know me so well tend to call me Mrs. Son’s Last Name, which isn’t even my name. If I catch them at it, I tell them to use my first name.</p>
<p>All my s’s friends but one still call us Mr and Mrs. We have offered for them to call us by our first names, but I gues its a hard habit to break. What’s funny, I can’t recall what older s’s gf calls us. Not sure its really come up often.</p>
<p>My kids’ oldest friends still calll me [daughter’s name] and Mom- as in, eg, “Hi, Sally’s Mom” or “Thank you, Sally’s Mom.” Just a silly thing that started way back.</p>
<p>We have given everyone the choice of calling us by our first names. What they do seems to depend on how close they feel. We have a lot of their old friends and college friends congregating at our house, so what’s really important to us is their willingness to interact with us.</p>
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