<p>DS’s school separates accounts for bill-paying and access to grades/records/whatever. We of course have a parent account for bill notifications; as do my parents who have contributed to tuition costs over the past 2 years. When DS was a freshman starting out, he set up the permissions for a parent account for grades, but when I tried to access it, it never worked and I didn’t bother to pursue it. Our requirements are straight-forward and not dependent on a grade-point average – primarily because we understand what type of student he is and because he knows that the financial commitments (his and ours) are set for eight semesters.</p>
<p>OTOH, when I was straightening his room yesterday after he returned for his junior year, I was lucky enough to discover a copy of his unofficial transcript from last semester laying on the floor. The grades were not as interesting to me as the list of core and major-req’d course distribution to date.</p>
<p>Never had access to oldest D’s grades. I only logged on to pay her bill each semester. She told us how she was doing and that was fine. I can see my S’s grades through the system, but they only show up after finals are done, not that it matters because he tells me how he is doing also. My kids’ college money is in a 529 from their grandparents, so it is not my money, but even if it was, I would not have used an ultimatum of ‘no access, no money’. That is not how our family operates. We don’t have any set ground rules. Every family is different, this works for us. I have seen many differences over the years in how things are done in other families. (None of my kids has ever been ‘grounded’ as many of their friends were often. And I have never checked any of their Facebook accounts.)</p>
There has never been a case of a college/university losing federal funding because of a FERPA lawsuit. That’s the hammer they wield (wah wah wah we could lose our federal funding!), but it’s just a plastic hammer.</p>
<p>States can mandate that colleges/universities will allow parents access to records of their tax-dependent students. I know of at least one state that has done this. </p>
<p>The feds never intended for FERPA to be interpreted as it has been by most colleges and universities, which is to deny parents access to student information.</p>
<p>An easy way to check on grades: Car insurance. </p>
<p>In order to get the good student discount, the kids show their transcript to our auto insurance people. They print out an unofficial transcript to show that they are averaging B or better. Auto insurance sees the grades, I see the grades, we get a discount, kids get to drive. As simple as that.</p>
<p>^ Interesting concept. Our insurance company has never once asked for a transcript to prove grades for a good student discount, in high school or college. We have two students that have always received it, and one that hasn’t. Perhaps that’s the tip off that we’re telling the truth.</p>
<p>With our insurance carrier we submit grades every 6 months for the discount, so DS will be ordering his transcripts during that time. I am planning to be a bit more lenient during the first semester with grade requirements, but DS knows his GPA limits and the alternatives. Knowing him, he would probably just sign papers so I could check things without bothering him.</p>
<p>That may be true, but many institutions…including ones adverse to bad lawsuits arising from any lawsuits…whether merited or otherwise tend to institute policies mainly out of perception of potential threats…however overblown they may be.</p>
<p>“One thing students usually do when they are in trouble is they hide from their parents. They start not going to classes, sleeping too much, and sometime even give up because they think it is hopeless…”</p>
<p>Yes, Oldfort, you are right. Which is why insisting on seeing grades isn’t the panacea that you imply that it is. If a kid is in trouble, you’re going to know that from the phone calls, or lack thereof . Or maybe the way they look during Skyping. I have a friend who suffers from severe depression. I can tell in a single sentence, written or typed, if she’s having a good day or a bad one. A mom can do the same with her kid. </p>
<p>I have three kids and 4 siblings. This isn’t my first rodeo. If I had to wait to see a drop in quiz grades to know if my kid was in trouble, that would mean I had already missed several signs. Is my kid, normally a share-all, talk-a-lot suddenly NOT doing either? I’d need to investigate. Is my quiet, close-to-the-vest kid now not sharing ANYTHING or the phone is always “low battery” so they can’t talk much? Hmm. </p>
<p>You seem to think that any time someone does things different from you they are judging. Not so. I raise my kids to be more independent, but I do still expect them to communicate. I just don’t invade their privacy without reason.</p>
<p>I find the “investment” theory for requiring kids show their grades quite interesting. If such parents put a sizable gift towards their kids’ house down payment, do they also insist on seeing the maintenance records and mortgage payments to make sure THAT investment is being maintained? If they pay for a very expensive wedding, do they also insist on marriage counseling to keep THAT investment healthy? If the impulse is to say, “That’s not the same thing,” it IS. Your child’s education is not going to benefit you in the long run. It benefits them. Their house, their wedding benefits THEM, not you. But I bet no one paying for those things asks to check up on them. In fact, that sounds a little silly and over the top. But somehow college, which parents have been paying for for generations, gets a pass when it comes to forcing our kids to be open books even to the point of withholding funds if they don’t agree.</p>
<p>We also are required to submit a transcript every 6 months for the Good Student discount on auto insurance. In addition, DS is required to attach a transcript to a renewal local scholarship application (which I end up packaging because of financial components). So we do see his grades periodically. We just have not required continual access for any other reasons.</p>
<p>A good student discount without any proof that the driver is actually a good student? Wouldn’t everyone paying really high premiums for their young drivers say they qualify for the discount? </p>
<p>Any way, it works for us. The kids are more than happy to share their good grades, so we will pay for the insurance so they can drive.</p>
Yes. And of course it’s easier for colleges/universities to make parents think they have to be totally out of the picture. It’s the PUSU (Pay Up Shut Up) philosophy.</p>
<p>sseamom - you can give it any terminology you want for the money spent on education, but at the end of day it is money which could be spent on something else - retirement, vacation, car, charity. Return on those “investments” maybe measured differently, it could be pure self fulfillment or true monetary return. Most people do not have 250+K lying around to throw away. I think it is very reasonable for us to have agreed goal(s) on what the student is going to get out of a college education. If the student’s goals do not agree with mine, he/she could make other provisions. My goals are for my kid to do well enough in college, so she could be self supporting when she graduates, and getting 2.5 GPA is not going to do it. As a hiring manager, I just had to turn down a very nice young man because of his low GPA. The kid graduated from a top LAC, but he can’t do over on his GPA. It is what it is.</p>
<p>Like most parents, I don’t do anything for my kids to benefit me. It is always about what is best for them. But it doesn’t mean that I would be willing to throw 250K down the drain either. There is a big difference.</p>
<p>I never laid eyes on D1’s grades. She always told me what they were each semester. </p>
<p>D2, without being asked, gave permission to the school for access to grades as well as medical records. The school sent us a user name and password.</p>
<p>Sseamom, every year there is a post on this forum about a family who was blindsided by their student’s poor performance in college. Many of these are over in the financial aid section because either the kiddo loses merit aid OR does not make SAP and loses ALL aid. In many cases, the parents report that the kiddo thought they could turn it around but then got to a point of no return. Most felt that they had a healthy relationship with the kids.</p>
<p>As I said upstream, we did not have online access to our kids’ grades. DS’s university actually mailed the grades “to the parents of student”. Their policy was that students needed to sign to deny access. So we got his grades just about when he did. At DD’s school, grades were only posted online. Our agreement was that she would show us her final end of term grades…or we would not pay the next bill. </p>
<p>Our kids also had merit awards that required a certain GPA to keep. We were very clear that if they lost those awards, they would be coming home to an instate, less expensive college.</p>
<p>With our insurance company, our son, who attended a college near home, did have to submit grades to get the good student discount.</p>
<p>But our daughter, who attended a distant college, did not. We got a discount for her – regardless of grades – because she was attending college far away from home and did not have a car with her.</p>