What does FERPA allow regarding parents seeing student's grades

Parent Cafe
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<p>Blueiguana - It makes no sense since they expected us to file all the financial information and decided we the parents can foot the entire bill. However, they give instructions saying legally they are not allowed to send us the bill and the student has to provide the logon for us to even view it. </p>

<p>I had to file my entire tax returns to get the privilege of asking my child to show me the bill that I am expected to pay? </p>

<p>Just bear with me, I am venting since this is my first go around at this permission to pay the bill thing!</p>

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<p>^ Not legally prevented from sending the bill- more like, that’s the way that college will manage its Ferpa obligations. Many colleges have their F policies on the web.</p>

<p>There’s also .gov wording about the fact they are rumored not to have the clout to enforce- which they protest. Frankly, it’s all so densely worded that I only breezed through that. It’s in one of the sections about changes and discussions.</p>

<p>I agree no parent should assume they can tune in to their student’s moods and determine whether all is well. A kid’s emotional state could be fine- maybe he’s one of the “happiest” students over on the binge drinking thread. But still not managing academics.</p>

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<p>Our previous insurance company required transcripts every semester. This one doesn’t, but we don’t get that discount because she lives more than 100 miles away and doesn’t have a car.</p>

<p>D’s school sends to the parents a lovely notice every semester when their student is included on the dean’s list. When we get that we don’t worry about specific grades. However, there have been a couple of times when the kids couldn’t access computers when grades were posted and asked me to check.</p>

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<p>Parents who are blindsided by bad grades or not realizing that their kids are happy because they’re skipping classes or drinking them away aren’t getting the full picture. Most all of you have said your kids happily give you their grades when asked. If this suddenly changed-they weren’t forthcoming with the grades, or they kind of hemmed and hawed about them, wouldn’t you GET A CLUE that they might not be doing well?? </p>

<p>The funny thing is that you’re forcing the kids to make their grades an open book-yet from what I can tell, NONE of them are actually having problems, HAVE had problems or have shown any indication of falling off the treadmill.</p>

<p>I get that some of you are spending huge amounts of money and don’t want it “wasted”. But when do you loosen the reigns? And what if your kid takes that perfect GPA and goes off and joins the Peace Corps or works at some low-paying job because they find it more fulfilling than the perfect job their perfect GPA is supposed to get them? Do you forbid that? </p>

<p>My own kids have gone through some pretty rough times. But I’ve not had a situation come up where they had a problem I didn’t suspect already. And it wasn’t because they were open books. It was because everyone leaves signs that they’re sturggling and I knew theirs.</p>

<p>Oldfort, my H and I are in our 50’s and have never been asked for our GPA. Life is so much more than a score and I can’t help but wonder if you even bothered to ask your applicant if he had an explanation for his grades. I also find it astonishing that anyone would think that a person with a 2.5 couldn’t get hired anywhere. What a very different world you live in.</p>

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<p>While not impossible, getting a GPA below 3.0 makes it much harder to get a job straight out of college…especially in a bad economy. </p>

<p>An older cousin who graduated in the late '80s as an engineering major at URochester didn’t get hired for his first professional job until six months after graduation because his cumulative GPA was ten-thousandth of a point below 3.0. Did I mention several on-campus interviewers abruptly ended their interviews once the question about his cumulative GPA came up? </p>

<p>In contrast, all of his 3.0 or better classmates had multiple job offers a semester or sometimes even a year before graduation despite having the same/worse skillsets/relevant working experience. </p>

<p>While he has done well since, his experience and similar ones of classmates with less than a 3.0 was one reason why he constantly repeated the “never let the cumulative GPA fall below 3.0” line to me and other younger relatives/friends. Fortunately, I’ve greatly exceeded that so it turned out to be a non-issue for me. </p>

<p>Moreover, the stigma of a low cumulative GPA can follow you long after graduation as several college classmates…including some who were academically suspended/expelled are still finding during grad admissions/job interviews 10+ years after graduation from our college/another college.</p>

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<p>While the discussion about 3.0 is pretty cool, an aspiring doctor can kiss any aspirations goodbye with a 3.0 GPA since no medical school will admit them.</p>

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<p>…And my ex had a job at a computer company FT before he even got his undergrad degree in the 80’s despite a string of C’s and a low GPA because he could code circles around everybody. The C’s were the grades he managed without going crazy in classes that bored a brilliant young man witless. Good grades often mean that one is a talented bubble-filler or BS’er. Luckily there are people out there who recognize PRODUCT, not a GPA is the real indicator. BTW-my ex was never asked for his GPA either. But it wasn’t great. And you’d recognize the companies he’s worked for, and the programs he’s helped create.</p>

<p>But that said, the most successful people I know in terms of this bad economy are people who either didn’t go or didn’t finish college at all. One rebuilds car engines. One works for a membership bulk buy store. She will retire in far better shape than some people I know with multiple degrees. Another quit college to do construction and now specialized in custom jobs that occasionally make the news. Another is the only non-college graduate in his company in a construction-related safety industry. </p>

<p>We all operate in our own worlds. In mine, people don’t ask for a GPA, people without degrees don’t get outsourced, and what we did 10, 20 or 30 years ago means a lot less than what I did last year. Maybe in the rare air of CC that isn’t true.</p>

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We do indeed. When I have many, many good applicants for one position, I am looking for reasons not to hire them. It is no different with those top tier schools with admission rate less than 10%, they are looking for reasons not to admit most of those good applicants because there are only limited number of spots.</p>

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AND this is why I say you are being judgemental. Why would you jump to conclusion that a parent like me has tight reigns on our kids? Is it because I communicate with my kids on setting goals and consequences? Isn’t this how we want our kids to behave when they work in the real world? Why would you think I care what my kid want to do in life? Why wouldn’t I want my kids to do what would make them happy, whethr it is high paying or not? If they have good GPA, good work ethics, wouldn’t that give them more options in life, rather be limited to what they could do because of bad credentials? </p>

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Either you are delusional or you are a mind reader, and you should sell your parenting secret. How many people have said, “I would know if my wife/husband was cheating on me” or “I would know if my kid was doing drugs.”</p>

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<p>OF, ssea was saying in her own personal life, a situation has not arisen that she didn’t know about beforehand. </p>

<p>Some kids are easy to read, some aren’t. Some parents are good at picking up on subtleties, some aren’t. I don’t think ssea said that every parent should be able to pick up everything.</p>

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<p>This is what sseamom posted:

I am reading this as everyone leaves signs, so if you (as a parent) is not picking up your kid’s signs, then it is because you are not being a good parent. I maybe reading it wrong.</p>

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<p>Only people I knew who said that in my world were high school dropouts, ex-cons<em>, some college classmates with low GPAs who aren’t willing to own up to their part in it</em>*, and anti-intellectual colleagues/neighbors/educators who were bitter about graduating in the bottom half of their undergrad college classes and liked to pick on the academic achiever/quirky kids to assuage their own feelings of inadequacy. </p>

<p>Also, if you’re mostly used to multiple choice exams or BSing your way through high school…you won’t survive very long at my private LAC…or schools in a similar academic/size range. </p>

<p>Trust me, I’ve seen plenty of the latter examples with plenty of failing/marginal grades and red ink as a freelance academic tutor and some of those “products” would be quite hilarious if it weren’t so tragic for some of the students involved. </p>

<ul>
<li>Grew up in what was once a sketchy working-class NYC neighborhood.</li>
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<p>** I.e. Too overconfident, tried to BS their way through assignments, not knowing how to prioritize one’s time, too much weed, etc.</p>

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Today, there are kids who could code circles around everybody, have multiple meaningful ECs, AND have good GPAs.

Maybe not, but if you think about it, GPA is the “product” when someone is a student. Of course, it doesn’t mean a good student would necessary be a good employee, but it is a data point.</p>

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<p>I have to agree with Cobrat that most academic rigorous colleges (or even high schools) do not give multiple choice tests, even for math/science courses.</p>

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<p>"I am reading this as everyone leaves signs, so if you (as a parent) is not picking up your kid’s signs, then it is because you are not being a good parent. I maybe reading it wrong. "</p>

<p>What I see/hear very often when there is trouble in a family-drugs, alcohol, cheating, illness, etc. is “The signs were there but I just didn’t get it.” I’m not in counseling but I work in a setting where people come to us in trouble, so this isn’t speaking off the top of my head, it’s real world experience.</p>

<p>I’m saying that good kids getting good grades probably don’t NEED constant checking BECAUSE they’re good kids working hard. If their parents noticed something different-and it wouldn’t have to be grades, then it might be time to check in addition to just asking, just talking. I think parents-good parents-miss signs not because they’re “bad” parents but because they don’t want to think or believe that their “good kid” could go off the rails. I think we all do that to some extent. </p>

<p>BUT I’ve always thought college was a time to let go as much as possible and force kids to be totally transparent through say, grades or email passwords ONLY IF we think our kids are straying, not IN CASE they do. If by the time they hit college-at an adult age that gives them the power to so anything they want to in their own names (except drink, a whole other topic), I feel that we should trust them to make sensible decisions. They will hopefully keep us informed, and ask for advice, but it’s up to us to step back unless we think they aren’t being the responsible young adults we’ve raised them to be.</p>

<p>I’m not bragging, really I’m not-my kids and I aren’t perfect, far from it. But the other day my older D came in the house. She didn’t say a word and I asked what was wrong. She asked “How did you know?” I knew from nearly 28 years of parenting by looking at her face and knowing when the look is one of hurt. In that case it was a boyfriend problem. When she lived back east last year and was struggling with being at the school she was at, I could tell in a single sentence whether it was a “guess what happened today” call or one in which she was going to tell me again why she needed to transfer. You just know.</p>

<p>I’m not going to convince anyone. People who feel the need to check grades even when their kids have given no indication of any problem aren’t going to be swayed by me-a stranger. But hopefully I’ve explained why I feel this way and how it works for me.</p>

<p>**oh, and the bubble-filler comment was made by a parent of a gifted kid who scores amazingly well on tests, even those he has never studied for. He probably has an astronomical GPA. That doesn’t mean he’ll be the best at his job.</p>

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<p>There are fields where GPA would be very important when either trying to get into grad school or post degree internships, or just trying to get noticed amongst a sea of qualified applicants. In nursing, GPA would be incredibly important if you are trying to get into a critical care or similar internship right out of school. Otherwise, they couldn’t care less. They are looking at your experience (did you work at a hospital or other facility during nursing school or in professional life prior to that), whether or not you passed NCLEX, and whether or not you know someone on the inside who can recommend you. I’m sure there are many other similar fields. DH has never once in his entire career been asked for his GPA.</p>

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<p>My D filled out the FERPA forms online and submitted 2 parent emails to receive billing information. I also have login to check and used it to pay a week ago. Had I waited for the email with the link to the bill which arrived yesterday the payment would have been late.<br>
I agree with oldfort on some academic benchmarks and access. In our case we are not choosing education over vacations or boats it is a financial stretch and she doesn’t get 5 or 6 years to finish undergrad where she is at. Having a plan for graduation and employment and not losing the scholarship are pretty important. </p>

<p>I don’t plan to micro manage D, but do want access in the event that it’s needed. We have also done health care POA forms. As I explained to her and is detailed in the language on the form . . . it isn’t so that we can see her medical records under normal conditions - it doesn’t allow for that and I wouldn’t want to. We will have access to records and decision making only if she can’t do for herself - if she were unconscious or somehow otherwise mentally incapacitated. By the time you know you need it it is too late if you don’t already have it.</p>

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<p>In all of this, despite our different parenting styles (of which there is no right or wrong), ^this^ is one thing that should be universal IMHO. A POA for your adult child is more important then any FERPA waiver, username/password, agreement on gpa, etc., ever will be. As saintfan says, this isn’t so we can see their health records and invade their privacy when our adult daughters decide to seek birth control, or our sons are tested for STI’s. We don’t want to go there, have no place there, and don’t want them to hesitate to seek proper medical care out of fear that it will not be private. It is for an emergency when they are unable to speak for themselves, when we get that dreaded call from the Dean of Students that our child is in the hospital, unconscious, we are a plane ride away, and without it no medical professional will give us any details regarding their care or condition, let us authorize care choices/decisions on their behalf, etc. We have one for both of our adult children, one of which is currently in college, one is not. We will continue to hold it until they wish to appoint someone else, probably a spouse or ‘significant other’.</p>

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<p>I wish D1s school would have a separate login for the financial stuff. Everything from grades to finances are tied into her single university ID. I respect her privacy, but really would like the ability to at least view the financial side of her univeristy life, since I’m the one writing the check. </p>

<p>Regarding, POA or Advance directives - I’ve been pressuring her to fill out the form. NJ has a nice neat package with ‘check the box’ for what you want available online that’s been sitting on the dining room table for a few months. It really is a different world once they hit 18, but are still a dependent and on your medical insurance.</p>

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<p>I agree with blue and saint. I’ve had an incident before where my parents needed poa for me during a medical emergency. Luckily they had everything authorized beforehand by me because of my frail health.</p>

<p>I’ve never felt the need to hide anything from my parents so it was a no brainer. I’m fortunate to have parents with forethought like that. Things could have been so much worse.</p>

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I have managed to never request one of these for my adult children nor need it. As a matter of fact, when my BIL was in a serious car accident, his parents were notified and consulted about his treatment with no questions about who should be asked. He was in his 40’s and single. In my experience, with my spouse, parents and siblings, it has never been a problem when hospitalized.</p>