<p>D is beautiful, very smart, highly moral, quite assertive with a good personality, but at 16, she’s never had a real boyfriend. People she meets are surprised by this, but I contend that she intimidates boys with her looks and brains. She’s had several boys seem to “like” her, but in at least one case her purity commitment was a deal breaker.</p>
<p>She came home from camp beaming, having had “the best week ever!” She said she’d finally found people like her who love interesting music, discussing issues, and accomplishing. One guy in particular (from pictures and daughter’s description) seems taken with her (and visa versa). He lives 200+ miles away. </p>
<p>I noticed on her social page a comment by him, “I love u” under a picture of the two of them. What exactly does this mean??? They texted over the weekend with her asking most of the “get to know you better” questions, but she was meeting friends Sunday evening so ended the conversation. I don’t think she’s heard from him since. We’ve instilled in her old-fashioned values, so she doesn’t feel it appropriate to re-start texting first.</p>
<p>You don’t need to tell me to “keep my nose out of it” - I am - that’s why I’m asking you these questions!!</p>
<p>It’s a summer fling. I doubt much happened if your daughter if what you said about her is true. He likes her, she likes him. Camp was fun for her, and they share wonderful memories together (again, I doubt much happened.)</p>
<p>I highly doubt your daughter will get obsessed over him or anything.</p>
<p>You might be reading far too much into a Facebook comment.
He might have meant it (doubtful considering this is a Facebook-fueled romance). He might be just saying in the “stupid random comment” way. </p>
<p>I only know about the comment because D showed me with a quizzical look on her face. She’s unsure. There’s no obsession, but very, very considerable interest. </p>
<p>Nothing happened at camp other than stimulating conversation and long hugs. The hugs of this generation are something I’ve noticed as being very intimate while at the same time almost meaningless. Am I correct?</p>
<p>So I guess my question is: Do teenagers really throw statements of love around casually or does it just depend on the person? Is it merely bait?</p>
<p>(They will see each other in a month at an overnight workshop - I’m driving/chaperoning our group this time so am curious about what to expect.)</p>
<p>It means that your D is growing up (just as you want her to). Congratulations…</p>
<p>Raising kids is a wild wonderful ride and if your lucky she will keep asking you questions, sharing her opinions, and asking for yours. These can be magical times…</p>
<p>“We’ve instilled in her old-fashioned values, so she doesn’t feel it appropriate to re-start texting first.” — What… Sorry, that only males should express themselves may be old fashion but I do not think it has any value. This might be a good time to rethink and discuss this with her. As the Dad of a true gentlemen I would tell my S to run away from any girl (Women) who “doesn’t feel it appropriate to re-start texting first”. Because all the best relationships (including friendships) require honest non-manipulated communications. But thats me…</p>
<p>As the dad of a true gentleman, though, does the generally (albeit stereotypical) aggressive nature of female teens of this generation disturb you at all? I am also the mom of a shy, but true gentleman and by comments he’s made, I think it throws him.</p>
<p>You might want to take heed of your username and back off a bit with your daughter. If the worse she’s doing is waiting for him to text her and giggling over Facebook comments, then you’re doing pretty good.
You just need to trust that you’ve raised her well enough to make good decisions and allow her to make mistakes, and let her know you’ll be there when she does.</p>
<p>PlattsburghLoser - yah, I know, but 18 year habits are hard to break. I’ve taken the first step, though, in recognizing my need for intervention.</p>
<p>getalifemom - “As the dad of a true gentleman”, I know that human nature has always been human nature. the “aggressive nature of female teens” is only threating if your the parent of that young women or if your child had not learned to express themselves.</p>
<p>I think it would be fair to say that he concluded that he was not interested in drama for the sake of drama (and being overly aggressive is just a form of drama). He is interested in getting to know people and letting people get to know him.</p>
<p>And yeah, if a girl doesn’t reinitiate text messaging with me, it’s not happening. In this day and age she probably will start texting him if he holds off long enough, it seems to be nature now.</p>
<p>"Do teenagers really throw statements of love around casually "</p>
<p>Yes. Here, they will yell across campus they love each other and they’ll give each other hugs for no other reason than it’s Tuesday. Smile and tell her that’s nice she’s found a friend and let it go.</p>
<p>The “love” comment is used very frequently, in no serious terms. While I am a quarterback, almost every girl who sees my “WWJD” (What would Jesus do) wristband will avoid me or watch me carefully. I figure if they are keeping their distance that is God protecting me. I also am not dating, single wise, as I am in contention for valedictorian</p>
<p>A friend loves at all times…
Proverbs 17:17</p>
<p>The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ …
Mark 12:31</p>
<p>A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
John 8:34</p>
<p>Maybe this boy learned to “throw statements of love around casually” from the Bible, which seems to teach that one should not be stingy with love.</p>
<p>Thanks for reminding me of our call to reach out in love at all times. I’ve just returned from being with my young neice and her husband, for a time in place of my sister who was driving as fast as she could from five hours away, as this couple delivered their stillborn child who was due next month. I “loved” many there who I barely knew just because they love those who I love.</p>