<p>Just wondering.</p>
<p>Hi Milkyway,
Here’s what I think: love should feel like a warm hug, or a good feeling, or the feeling that you are acknowledged and known and loved for who you are. And accepted. And ok. And it should feel like a safe place to be yourself, and a place where it’s not only ok to be yourself but a place where you can grow. So if you put it in terms of a plant, it would be the right mixture of soil or the right acidity/alkaline balance for your own tender leaves to thrive and grow. </p>
<p>What it isn’t is: someone controlling you; someone manipulating you emotionally; someone convincing you that you would be lonely and unhappy if you left them.</p>
<p>I’m sorry if this is off base or TMI. I have often wondered the same thing, and it didn’t help to hear people say “when it’s real, you’ll know”. </p>
<p>When someone loves you, you feel like yourself and wonderfully ok and warm inside, emotionally, and strong and supported. And happy.</p>
<p>Are you talking “romantic love?” Because there are different kinds of love. The love I feel for my husband is different from that I feel for my daughters. It also feels different from the love I feel for my Dad (Mom died this year), and that feels different from the love I feel for my siblings (and those feelings are different sibling to sibling). Then there are the loving feelings I have for girlfriends of long standing, and those of male friends I’ve known since childhood. </p>
<p>It just depends…</p>
<p>Shakespeare had his take on it:
sonnetCXVI</p>
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</p>
<p>This I do know: regardless of the kind of love we’re talking about, there is a common denominator. Love feels good and makes others feel good. It does NOT torture you, make you feel crappy about yourself, make you feel insecure, unworthy, or miserable. It doesn’t compel you to control or dominate. Love doesn’t require or inflict upon others the constant requirement to prove itself. It just is…and once you’ve experienced a healthy, selfless yet reciprocal love, you forever after know it when you see it.</p>
<p>You will know it when you feel it- that’s all I can say- love is a different feeling for everyone.</p>
<p>When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie
That’s amore
When the world seems to shine like you’ve had too much wine
That’s amore
Bells will ring ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling
And you’ll sing “Vita bella”
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay
Like a gay tarantella</p>
<p>When the stars make you drool just like a pasta fazool
That’s amore
When you dance down the street with a cloud at your feet
You’re in love
When you walk down in a dream but you know you’re not
Dreaming signore
Scuzza me, but you see, back in old Napoli
That’s amore</p>
<p>[The</a> Magnetic Fields - Love is Like a Bottle of Gin](<a href=“The Magnetic Fields - Love is Like a Bottle of Gin - YouTube”>The Magnetic Fields - Love is Like a Bottle of Gin - YouTube)</p>
<p>Here’s another way to think about it – I remember when I was in Kindergarten, working with Play-Doh, and we each had our own allotted colors, and I really wanted the pink color someone else had in their pile, and they weren’t using it, and I wanted it to make a flower and in my mind the flower had to be pink, so I took their Play-Doh. And the other kid cried and the teacher chastised me and my mother said I had to learn to share. But many years later, I told this story to someone, and they understood how much having the pink Play-Doh meant to me, and they knew it didn’t mean I was a bad person. </p>
<p>When someone loves you, they’re on your side. They cut you some slack. They understand you.</p>
<p>Love is when you feel you are homethere is no need to look for greener pastures because he/she is the only one for you, now and forever. You wake up every single morning blissful to see his face right beside you and he wakes up and looks at you the same way. You discard being I-oriented and think of your partners well-being. You both hold hands together in times of crisis and do not just bail out on each other. Youre both not perfect but you learn from each other and become better people.</p>
<p>Leonardo Vinci once said, "The arch is nothing else than a force originated by two weaknesses the two weaknesses combine to form one strength. </p>
<p>I think he was also alluding to love.</p>