What else do I add to daughter's College Car Use and privileges Contract?

Parent Cafe
1

<p>Okay, I’ve shaken the cobwebs off of the eldest’s contract and I can’t seem to find the original on the computer. I need your help. My rising Junior is now getting the “car” for her internship a town away, so she needs a ^#(^ car. </p>

<p>PLEASE give me suggestions to add to the contract or anything I’ve missed:</p>

<p>What do I already have?<br>
EXPENSIVE IMPORT CAR BELONGA TO MAMMA AND PAPA, SO: </p>

<p>OBEY THE LAW and SPEED LIMIT, It’s the LAW.
SEATBELTS!
Curfew, no driving after hours unnecessarily.<br>
No texting, calling, or answering phone while driving, nor loud distractible music, or driving when upset “because I got a 68 on my Lab”
No rushing or hurrying to get somewhere.</p>

<p>No rowdy passenger behavior like “mooning the CHP”.</p>

<p>No loaning the car to friends “who just needed to go across the street to In & Out Burger”.*</p>

<p>(*Do they pay my auto liability, collision and uninsured driver’s fees? NO? Then they cannot drive the car.)</p>

<p>No friends who are wasted, smoking, or who "just bought alcohol at Safeway and couldn’t carry it on their bikes.* </p>

<p>No crossing international borders.</p>

<p>No driving through barricades.</p>

<p>General car maintenance. Oil changes every 6 months, tune-ups once a year. Tire rotation every 6 months and as needed.</p>

<p>Call Mom or Dad immediately in the event of an accident. We will not judge you or demand to know if it was your fault.</p>

<p>You must carry your Triple A card with you when you drive. </p>

2

<p>Our kids used one of our cars. We asked that the gas tank be filled regularly, and that they pay for all oil changes. If they got into an accident, they had to pay the insurance deductible, and subsequently any increase in premiums. We had a AAA family membership. The card was kept in the glove box. No more passengers than seatbelts. </p>

<p>And we asked they let us know if they were traveling outside of their usual route.</p>

<p>We did not have a written contract, but we made it very clear that the car was ours and would be taken away if there were any issues.</p>

3

<p>Thank you! I will add those items.</p>

4

<p>“No rushing or hurrying to get somewhere.” </p>

<p>^^ This. I used the following method for high school driving, but perhaps you can find a workaround for a college student: If I knew that my D did not leave herself enough time to get to school without speeding, I drove her myself, leaving her embarrassed to be seen being dropped off and without a car to hang out in during lunch. I only had to do it a couple of times. </p>

5

<p>If only I could!!!</p>

6

<p>That’s quite a contract. Driving out of the country, through barricades, lending the car to others? Wow, that stuff never even occurred to me. My daughter was expected to follow the law, expected to keep the car gassed up and notify us of any issues, and she was not allowed to carry any passengers. Passengers are a major distraction to young drivers and that eliminates a lot of the specific problems you mentioned right there. But that was in high school. Not clear if you’re talking about a hs or a college junior.</p>

7

<p>No parking in questionable or dubious parking places because she is late or too lazy to find a safe spot.
Research the towing costs of the city her college is located and let her know it will cost hundreds in cash to get it out of the tow yard.</p>

<p>Nothing is to be left in the interior-no bags, envelopes, clothing, coins.
Takes a second for the window to be broken and a headache to get it replaced.
All items are to be in the trunk.</p>

<p>Go over with her the procedure of info gathering in an accident.
Tell her not to state fault, do not accuse, don’t incite anger, just get the info.</p>

<p>The doors are to be locked while she is driving around town even during the day.</p>

<p>If the car has a remote key, inform her the cost of replacements for those keys.
She needs to keep the spare key in a place that can be easily retrieved by her room mate, only in the case of an emergency.</p>

<p>I would encourage her to take the car in to get waxed on a regular basis to keep the paint job weatherized.</p>

<p>Do not ignore any warning light or icon on her dash.
Look it up in the owner’s manual and phone home for instructions what to do. </p>

8

<p>Holy crap. Hopefully most of these are “Thing to Remember”…</p>

<p>These are all going in a contract? What happens if she breaks a rule? </p>

9

<p>Any increased insurance price due to citations or crashes is on her.</p>

10

<p>What is the curfew for a college-aged student? I thought states with curfews for drivers only applied them to drivers under 18. When I borrowed my father’s car for a few months after college I was to obey the law, keep it maintained and pay for minor repairs, but to check with him on anything major. I only had to pay for deductibles and insurance increases if the accident was deemed MY fault. No formal contract, just common sense, and there were no problems. Then again, I grew up when there weren’t all the restrictions or distractions there are today and it was just an old family car, nothing expensive or special. </p>

11

<p>“OBEY THE LAW and SPEED LIMIT, It’s the LAW.”</p>

<p><a href=“http://scvnews.com/2014/08/19/teen-jogger-killed-in-crash/”>http://scvnews.com/2014/08/19/teen-jogger-killed-in-crash/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>"Both the victim and the driver were 17 years old, according to CHP officials.</p>

<p>The name of the driver was not released.</p>

<p>Drugs and alcohol do not appear to be a factor in the crash, Lutz said, although he added that the investigation was ongoing.</p>

<p>A resident in the area told SCVTV, “There is continuous speeding and racing on that stretch (of road). It’s out of control.”"</p>

12

<p>@Math: eldest daughter drove to Canada which was a big no-no, so I added it to the contract for middle daughter. Middle daughter is a Junior in college.<br>
As for barricades, sometimes those are up in flooded areas and the water doesn’t initially look bad, but it is. I just want her to think about using common sense.
@beerme Thanks! I will use.
@ sseamom, we have a family house curfew that I would like her to continue to respect.
If she breaks a rule, it depends on the severity, but younger brother wants that car; motivation to keep the rules.</p>

13

<p>No eating food or drinking any beverages nomater what.
Use RainX regularly.
Check all light bulbs.</p>

<p>Maybe help her find a good repair shop so she doesn’t get ripped off. Or schedule oil changes during breaks. </p>

14

<p>Honestly, for a third car, I’d have that driver pay the insurance for it. If they don’t make that much money, then I’d figure out a percentage. A contract is a step in the right direction, and I like your idea. But there’s nothing like putting the cash on the table to make it real.</p>

15

<p>Maybe sending an expensive import car with a college student isn’t the greatest idea to start with…</p>

16

<p>Is the goal to:
a) Get your daughter to be a safe capable driver because of her independent balanced thinking?
or:
b) Get your daughter to be a safe capable driver only because of her mom’s threats.</p>

17

<p>

Let’s cross our fingers that it’s the first one. </p>

<p>I understand parent styles differ, but with this ongoing list of things to do and not do, it looks like they’re crossing into the territory of common sense and not necessarily guidelines and restriction. </p>

<p>It’d be nice to break these points into two section. “Things to Remember” and “Guidelines and Restrictions” AKA the contract part. </p>

<p>There’s allowing your daughter to have judgement pertaining to the safety of her and the car and then there’s checking the boxes in order to be able to use the car. </p>

18

<p>

</p>

<p>Chances of you keeping your side of this clause of the contract - zero.</p>

19

<p>Keep the inside clean. Its not a trash pit for candy wrappers, crumpled receipts and empty water bottles.</p>

20

<p>You know…I told my kids these things, but I NEVER drew up a contract. The car was mine, and was mine to take back at any time. A contract was not necessary.</p>

<p>I’m going to say…either you want to let your kid use one of your cars…or you don’t. This contract you are proposing makes it sound like you really do NOT want to let this kid use a car you have purchased. If that is the case. Maybe you shouldn’t let her use one of your cars.</p>

<p>Bottom line…your kid will be away. It will be impossible to enforce some of the things you are proposing (radio volume, for example…I mean really…how will you know?).</p>

<p>You need to emphasize that you expect her to drive safely and within the laws. She will need to be on the honor system to do so.</p>