What Extra Curricular Activities (ECs) Top Schools REALLY want

Parents Forum
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<p>“I also know some people advocate choosing ECs that are UNIQUE and more of a 'hook”. I can’t see picking something to get into college. The ECs that my own children did, they picked when they were very young and never wished to give them up."</p>

<p>I can’t see picking something just to get into college. But I can see selling what you’ve picked in different ways. BTW every time I’ve gone to the Ivy League College every single admissions officer has agreed they’d like to see 2 or 3 at the most EC’s but done at a level that shows committment. </p>

<p>We’ll see how it plays out with our son. He would never do something just to look good - we got the NHS forms and there was no way he had the volunteer hours to do it - so he didn’t. He’s on: Academic Team - enthusiastic, but they never win; Science Olympiad, he’s won medals at the state level; and what we hope will be his strongest suit working freelance as a computer programmer - he should get very a very enthusiastic recommendation. And as for that lack of volunteer activities, we are looking into having him work with the local senior center - as they need someone to introduce photoshop to the seniors.</p>

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<p>With my D she was the passionate EC type so it was easy-- she led the way. We never said a word.</p>

<p>With my son, he is more of a slacker-skateboarder-filmmaker type, though very smart. He also loves politics & current events. While he’s athletic and likes sports, he’s not the varsity letterman level at our huge & very sport HS, so that likely won’t be a main EC. </p>

<p>So far as I know, nobody recruits skateboarders! (Please PM me if anyone does! ;)) But he really LOVES this, so like NSM says we’re just encouraging him to get more involved, experienced, etc.</p>

<p>I insisted he do <em>one</em> ‘mentally engaging’ club at school, just on the principle that being involved in one’s school community is healthy. </p>

<p>But otherwise, I have helped him keep his eyes open for opportunities that fall into his skateboarder/filmmaker realm… contests, volunteer work, etc, that use/develop these skills. </p>

<p>I figure he’s better off loving skateboarding than walking through something else with no joy.</p>

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<p>SBMom:
Things that come to mind for your son’s pursuing his skateboarding/filmmaker interests:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>If your town doesn’t have good facilities for skateboards, getting involved in lobbying city officials to create such facilities.</p></li>
<li><p>Doing volunteer work teaching kids to skateboard and even raising $ for low-income kids to get skateboards and learn skateboarding.</p></li>
<li><p>Giving skateboarding lessons for pay. </p></li>
<li><p>Doing history and science fair projects related to skateboarding, and milking those opportunities for all they are worth. For instance, son could contact pioneer skateboards for his history fair project. He could study the physics involved in some skateboarding moves.</p></li>
<li><p>If you’ve got the $, there are some very nice summer camps that teach film making.</p></li>
<li><p>If your son’s interest in films includes writing screenplays, he can find Internet sites that will teach him this, which is what my older son did, writing a 35-page screenplay that he did completely independently. We had no idea that’s what son was doing. It was good enough to get him accepted to an excellent, very competitive college film school (which, unfortunately, my son turned down to go to a college that lacked a film school, but did have an excellent team of his favorite sport.)</p></li>
</ol>

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<p>

Well, actually they can entertain themselves by playing videos and watching tv. </p>

<p>I realize that we all would like to see our kids doing something productive – but I have to counter the “they will grow into” sentiment. I parented one kid who was an outgoing, physically active, “joiner” – and I put a lot of miles on the car chauffeuring her around to different activities. </p>

<p>My son was different. He was introverted and liked to have a lot of time to himself. He was resistent to most organized activities. He liked to read. By himself. With his door shut. During high school he slept a lot. And spent many, many hours playing video games. Anti-social videogames. (Grand Theft Auto). </p>

<p>He grew up and developed excellent work habits and social skills. He works in jobs involving a high level of people skills: he is a political activist, involved in fund raising and volunteer recruitment. Very successful, rose through the ranks quickly. The first job promoted him to “field manager” within a week after hiring him. </p>

<p>Some kids just need time. I think as parents we need to expose our kids to opportunities, but I don’t think pushing is a good idea. Some kids are natural introverts and really don’t want or need all of the activity in their lives. My son didn’t aspire to HYP types of schools, though he did apply to and was accepted at top 50 LACs. He had excellent test scores & grades and he grew up into a self-sufficient, productive person with a life that is much more active than his teen years. </p>

<p>I think that we as parents really need to back off and recognize that it is OK if a kid is NOT living a life overflowing with EC’s. I realize that it is probably not the way to become competitive for a top college, but it is also OK if we have smart kids who don’t aspire to the most selective colleges. Some people just want a lot more free time and time fo themselves. Some people really would rather have time to go to the beach and sit in the sun. The kid with good grades, good test scores, and weak ECs will be able to get into all but about 30 or so of the most competitive colleges.</p>

<p>So yes, all the way, to giving our kids every opportunity to explore their interests… but no to pushing them if their “interests” don’t happen to be the type that can be categorized as an EC. Just because what they are doing with their free time is quiet and doesn’t earn accolades doesn’t mean that it lacks value.</p>

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<p>NorthstarMom wrote:
“Again-- the bottom line is not what can we force our kids to do so that they have ECs that impress Harvard. The bottom line is how we enable our kids to participate in and even create activities that help them make the best use of their unique constellations of interests and abilities so that they are fulfilled contributors to our world.”</p>

<p>I agree with this wholeheartedly. I think the EC has to come from a desire to do it, and not be forced or made to do it because it is some key to get into some prestigious school. I happen to have kids who are the motivated sort who have loved several activities for years…almost too many activities! I never had to encourage or force them to take something on. Just the opposite. They want to do so many things that it is hard to say no. They are the ones pushing US! However, there are people who assume that because our kids are so actively involved, that we pushed them to do things. Even my own mother criticizes that our children are so busy and active and she thinks we make them do this stuff. To the contrary, I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to, not that I want to. I do think my kids are fortunate that they do have parents who support them and drive them or have enabled them to do the things they are interested in doing. Not all kids have that support or the availability of someone to drive them to whatever it is (where we live driving is imperative to do certain activities). </p>

<p>Mathmom wrote:
“I can’t see picking something just to get into college. But I can see selling what you’ve picked in different ways.”
Yes, once you have commited to, participated, and achieved in whatever the activity is that you enjoy, you do need to show it to colleges and present it so that it comes across and the schools know who you are and what you care about and what you might do to contribute in certain areas once you get to college. I know my kids did not want to give up their passion once in college. </p>

<p>Mathmom also wrote:
“He’s on: Academic Team - enthusiastic, but they never win; Science Olympiad, he’s won medals at the state level; and what we hope will be his strongest suit working freelance as a computer programmer - he should get very a very enthusiastic recommendation. And as for that lack of volunteer activities, we are looking into having him work with the local senior center - as they need someone to introduce photoshop to the seniors.”</p>

<p>This is very good. When a student takes an area of interest and applies it in different ways, that is positive. For instance, since your son works as a freelance computer programmer…there are related activities that can all paint the picture of someone with this passion…for instance, the working with seniors on helping them use computers…assisting at a middle school or elem school with the computers…maybe an internship or shadowing of someone in the field…maybe refurbishing used computers for needy families in the community…maybe a part time job, etc. Often an interest area might involve more than one activity or endeavor. Example…varsity soccer team, coach youth soccer, referee community soccer, counselor at summer program. Many examples abound. Activities that relate can show depth of interest. </p>

<p>SBMom…about your skateboard loving son (there seems to be a lot of boys into this that I know…but I don’t have sons myself)…while I am not into forcing kids to do ECs…there are suggestions that could be made…I know locally we don’t have a skateboard park and several local boys have written up proposals that have gone to the town Selectboards and other official committees with Skateboard park proposals for the community. They have shown a lot of initiative and research and fundraising for this project. I have also seen some boys who are into filmmaking who have made short films about skateboarding. I also have seen guys enter skateboarding competitions. I imagine there is likely some kind of service thing where a teenage boy could volunteer to teach skateboard skills to youth in the community…private lessons/classes or part of some other afterschool program for youth. Another thing is to put on skateoboarding demonstrations as some “event”…maybe a competition for local youth…and turn it into a fundraiser for some community organization. </p>

<p>A kid who loves politics might be able to get involved in a local either Dem or Rep office…volunteering. </p>

<p>Obviously, he must pick the activities but there are ideas you could throw out to him. As well, you could probe what he is into and what ways HE thinks he could really do SOMETHING with those ideas/interests.</p>

<p>EDIT…oops…sorry did not already see that Northstarmom had suggestions for the skateboarder/filmmaker…good ones…cross posted.</p>

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<p>Calmom,
I agree with you in that I don’t think that any kid should spend all of their time doing activities that could be characterized as ECs. Every human being needs some quiet time, time to play, time to enjoy friends, etc.</p>

<p>At the same time, every person in our society could benefit by having hobbies and by having a good idea about what their talents and skills are and how they can use those talents, interests and skills to support themselves and to make the world a better place.</p>

<p>Part of parents’ jobs is to help our kids identify those things, particularly in the case of what is probably the majority of kids, who have no idea what makes them special or what kind of activities they can do to pursue their interests. </p>

<p>My rule for my sons was that they had to have at least one EC – in school or outside of school – that they did. The EC was of their own choice, and I only pushed if they couldn’t find anything to do.</p>

<p>My older son loved writing, so wrote a column for a local paper. He also liked sports, so did JV soccer for a couple of years. When he dropped JV soccer, we told him that he couldn’t spend all of his time just doing basically solitary writing. He ended up then writing articles for pay for some professional papers, and also being a volunteer section editor for a local weekly. He loved what he was doing, and by his own choice, spent a lot of time doing those things, which did allow him some additional interaction with people. </p>

<p>Younger son was very shy, loved the arts, most academic subjects, and community service. For years, he could never figure out what he wanted to do for ECs. If I waited for him to make up his mind, the semester, literally would be over. Consequently, I’d find out what activities were available, and give him some choices and a firm deadline to make up his mind.</p>

<p>He tried and dropped several activities, and ended up sticking with a community service one, which he loved doing, and also found a wonderful adult mentor who recognized his good heart and various talents. He ended up developing wonderful leadership skills, service skills, friends, and a lot of confidence and recognition of his interests and abilities. He even ended up getting a citywide award for his work with that organization, which he is now president of, and he’s considering majoring in a field related to service.</p>

<p>He still has plenty of time to relax. That service activity is his only EC, but he happily and willingly does it about 5-24 hours a week depending on whether it’s a school week or vacation. </p>

<p>If I had waited for him to figure out what activities to try, I’d still be waiting. He’d still be very shy, and he’d have no clue what careers he might want to enter or what talents he has to offer.</p>

<p>When it comes to kids like this (and I think that many kids are hesitant to try out ECs), parents have to gently, but firmly push kids toward activities that the kids might be interested in. Parents also should allow the kids to switch activities if the original activities aren’t of interest to the kids. However, just sitting at home all of the time or hanging out with friends all of the time should not be allowed. There needs to be a balance between academics, ECs and some general recreation and relaxation time.</p>

<p>The same is true for adults. People who only go to work and home usually aren’t that happy. Most people seem to have the happiest, most fulfilled lives if they have some balance between work, service (and other hobbies) and relaxation.</p>

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<p>Calmom, I didn’t see your post when I posted but I agree. I am not into pushing or making a kid do ECs. I think one might expect a kid to be active in some (any) capacity outside the school day…even have a job, but I don’t think it is good to force ECs. You are right that for less selective schools, the ECs are less important. My niece goes to Penn State and she was a pretty good student. I don’t recall her being involved in ECs except a part time job (this is good though). She wasn’t aspiring to more competitive schools. Those who are going for the most selective schools, will need ECs but if they don’t have 'em, you can’t force them. Most significant ECs involve a great deal of time and commitment and those are the ones that matter to elite colleges. Those are not the kind you really can force on someone even if you wanted to. I suppose joining a club or something could be forced but that kind of EC is not so signficant for admissions anyway. So, I don’t think pushing kids into ECs is a good thing. I think encouragement of ways of pursuing their interests or help in learning about opportunities or making opportunities is a supportive thing parents can do. But making a kid do an EC…nuh uh. </p>

<p>(I must admit, I have read of many parents who talk about sons who spend great deals of time with computer games…or skateboarding…it sounds very common to me…I don’t have sons and this is not part of my personal experience, but it sure seems to be a common theme among a lot of teenage boys.)</p>

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<p>A boy interested can help with school’s web page, help teachers and other students, start a business consulting/helping people with home computers, etc. Taking courses or spending summers at a computer camp can show the interest. Local professors offer jobs for data entry, and the library makes good use of such a boy with interest in CS. (stuff like ths seemed to help my S, but nothing was done with college in mind.)</p>

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<p>Oh yes, the computer games… I hear you. Also the introvert who spends a lot of time reading. Our guidance counselor asked for a list of books you’d read outside of school - he couldn’t even begin to comply. A few non fiction books, mostly math and physics and then close to 100 fantasy and sci fi novels (many rereads). But how do you turn that into a compelling essay?! He’s into modding computer games which I think with the right twist could look like a legitimate EC - though I think a dime a dozen among techie types.</p>

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<p>The introvert who spends a lot of time reading can start a book club or can start doing book reviews for their school newspaper or a local publication. The student also may be able to read books to younger kids at a library, shelter or similar place.</p>

<p>The student also might be able to start libraries at shelters, Head Start centers, etc. by asking people to donate their gently used books there.</p>

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<p>mathmom:</p>

<p>Except that my S is not a techie, his list of books would be very very similar to your S’s!
I believe someone annotated his own list rather than write an essay about his reading habits.
I think that for a techie person, the best essay would not be about his love of computers, but just a small snapshot of a problem encountered and dealt with. Such a snapshot would convey his passion and would have a voice.
My S wrote about a very minor science competition he participated in, about having to literally assemble his entry while being driven to the competition site and his sense of wonder when the thing actually worked! Another essay was about a series of skits he and his friends put together at summer camp. The essay conveyed their sense of fun and their close friendship. Some excellent essays I’ve read are quite chatty. They show that there is a real person behind the prose.</p>

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<p>This thread is excellent parents. Comments are really valuable and interesting to read. </p>

<p>Yes, I am a son of a lenient (?) mom. Don’t know if I used the correct word…but anyways. She never “pushed” me to be part of Science Olympiad, Math Team, MUN, Environmental Club, and the list goes on… I rather discovered MY own tasty interests, which is Cooking. Yes, Cooking. At first, I told my friends about cooking and how I love it. I cook Spanish food, mainly from Central America and South America (ie Peruvian and Guatemalan dishes). I am about to hand in my first cuisine to my GC. It’s a Peruvian dish, called Ceviche (seafood marinated in citrus). </p>

<p>Anyways, I cook Fri Sat and Sun 30 minutes every time I cook (minimum time) </p>

<p>When I told my friends about my interest in cooking, they said it was good. BUT They told me I should never even try to write “Cooking” in the college application in the future because it would sound “stupid.” Additionally, told me it would be impossible for COOKING to be an EC
.
…
…
…
Well, I think they don’t really know the true meaning of an EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITY.</p>

<p>So yes, ECs are activities that one likes to do with a passion. But yes, people need to show some sort of “proof” that one is passionate about it. In my case, I am trying to publish a recipe to a culinary arts magazine. I am just thinking about it, but why not? Also, I am thinking about working part-time job at a Latin American based restaurant, such as Rubio’s or Chipotle. I am also trying to see if I can take an ROP class on Culinary Arts on this summer. Nothing bad. </p>

<p>Again, this thread is AMAZING and should be very helpful for kids in need for ACCURATE information about EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES.</p>

<p>~kevster</p>

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<p>

Says who? Our neighbor who always seems to have time to spend at home with his three little kids seems like a pretty happy guy. I don’t have a clue as to what he does for a living, but the kids are well fed and have plenty of time, and he’s always at home tinkering on some sort of project around the house, with the kids trailing behind and helping. Or playing catch on the the front lawn. My daughter and I long ago dubbed him the “world’s perfect dad” … and I certainly think that his family life was a lot better than my kids had when I was married to the man they dubbed “Mr. Work”. Unless you are employed professionally as a therapist or counselor, I don’t know how you can render an opinion on other people’s level of happiness. Some people really enjoy their home life and leisure time.

Why? To give his parents something to brag about? The last thing in the world that an introvert wants is an anything-club – you’ve just managed to suggest a series of things guaranteed to take the pleasure out of reading. For many people reading is a very special, delicious, private & personal enterprise. </p>

<p>I was also an introverted kid who read for hours on end, and I would have very much resented a parent trying to make me take my private, personal passion and turn it into a communal activity. </p>

<p>I realize that its not healthy for a kid to sit at home all day by himself (or herself) – but my reclusive son did have a life apart from home, through school. He socialized at school; he had friends; he participated to some extent in school activities & volunteer work. He helped out a homeless shelter once a month, volunteered for a week at Habitat for Humanity, tutored other kids, etc. Just not the kind of hours or commitment to brag about - but he wasn’t doing it for bragging rights. He was doing it to meet the community service requirement for his school, actually. Which was o.k. by me - the point is, he was doing something. I had a friend who taught at his high school who told me that he was quite gregarious at school & had a lot of friends there – its just that he compartmentalized his life: school vs. home. That’s what made him feel secure & happy. </p>

<p>Again: he grew up and turned out to be just fine. Social activist - he probably meets and talks to hundreds of people every week. I grew from a little introverted “bookworm” and went into an active, people-oriented profession: trial lawyer. We were in no way held back by the cocoon of our childhoods - we were just socially late bloomers who emerged when we were ready. </p>

<p>I imagine that the always on-the-go extravert that I also raised is going to do just fine, too — but she didn’t get her extraversion from my pushing. It just is her natural inclination.</p>

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<p>Kevster,</p>

<h1>1. I would like to come to your house. I have a hobby,too: “eating”. (This unfortunately has been mostly supplanted by “dieting” – but I’m allowed an occasional treat). I think cooking is a great activity. Also, if you ever are homeless, you can come to my house to live. And cook. As much as you want.</h1>

<h1>2. It is fine to write about your passion for college. Maybe it won’t fit on the EC list… but that doesn’t mean you can’t write about it.</h1>

<p>However, reading your post about the ceviche made me hungry, so I think I will go and do some cooking for myself right now.</p>

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<p>calmom,
Hehe. Got Ceviche?
For #2, what do you mean “maybe it won’t fit on the EC list…” It means it’s better for me NOT to put cooking in my EC list?</p>

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<p>" Our neighbor who always seems to have time to spend at home with his three little kids seems like a pretty happy guy. I don’t have a clue as to what he does for a living, but the kids are well fed and have plenty of time, and he’s always at home tinkering on some sort of project around the house, with the kids trailing behind and helping. Or playing catch on the the front lawn. My daughter and I long ago dubbed him the “world’s perfect dad” "</p>

<p>"The introvert who spends a lot of time reading can start a book club or can start doing book reviews for their school newspaper or a local publication…
Why? To give his parents something to brag about? The last thing in the world that an introvert wants is an anything-club – you’ve just managed to suggest a series of things guaranteed to take the pleasure out of reading. For many people reading is a very special, delicious, private & personal enterprise. "</p>

<p>I think you’re missing my points completely.</p>

<p>What I’m saying is that people are not happy and fulfilled who do nothing but go to work and go home and literally snooze by the TV or snooze after downing some booze. Such people don’t have hobbies or friends. They do nothing except work, eat and sleep.</p>

<p>A person who has a family and who spends time at home interacting with their family is doing something. A person who manages to be a parent, but who goes home and turns on the tube and stares at the tube while ignoring their kids doesn’t have much of a life.</p>

<p>A good parent (whose profession allows the time) also is likely to be involved somewhat in their kids activities and would be be able to be involved in PTA or coaching sports or doing church activities with their kids. The parent would have the social skils that would be necessary to be involved with their kids and with their kids’ activities. </p>

<p>As for books – most people whom I know who love to read would love being in something like a book club. They truly would enjoy being with others who shared their love of reading. I’m in a book club and at least half of the members are self-described introverts. They still like to talk about reading and books with others who share their passion for literature.</p>

<p>Meanwhile, a student whose hobby is onlysolitary reading will do – what-- for pleasure after they grow up and leave home? Go to work, go home and read alone? Reading truly is wonderful fun, but I do think that most people would regard their lives as being rather dull if they had no interaction with others. </p>

<p>Just because a person is an introvert doesn’t mean that they wish to completely avoid being with others. At least they want a romantic partner and probably a few friends who share their interests.</p>

<p>I would wonder how the introverted kid whose only hobby is reading at home alone would be able to make friends in college and to eventually get to the point of having a family or friends. Human beings are social animals. It’s a rare person who truly is so introverted that they’d like to spend all of their free time alone pursuing some solitary hobby.</p>

<p>Certainly, some such people exist, but I think that when it comes to high school students who spend all of their time reading at home alone, many would also like to have some friends to hang out with or go to libraries/bookstores/book clubs with. If, their parents don’t help them develop some other outlets, it may be extremely difficult for the teens to develop the necessary social skills to meet like minded people in college.</p>

<p>And, the idea isn’t for kids to get involved in activities so that parents have bragging rights. The idea is for kids to learn about their own interests and talents so they can develop the confidence and skills to have happy, fulfilled lives as adults. The teen who meets once a week or once a month with a few other book-loving teens in a book club is probably having an enjoyable time with people who share their interests and values. The teen also is developing the skills and awareness that would allow her or him to replicate that kind of experience in college or in adulthood.</p>

<p>I am not suggesting that a teen do this to impress colleges, but to do this in order to have a good time and to develop skills, interests and confidence that will serve him or her well for a lifetime. From a colllege’s perspective, however, a teen who has started or participated in a book club probably has more to offer to campus life than would a teen who has spent their time enjoying books all by themselves. The American college experience encompasses more than academics. The extracurricular part of campus life is very important.</p>

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<p>show not tell tactic - im using this. I dont just say i cook, but also I show it. To my GC. I give her one of my cuisines too.</p>

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<p>NSM & Soozie,</p>

<p>Thank you for your geat ideas! :)</p>

<p>So far he has found these opportunities:</p>

<p>-making videos (wedding & bar mitzvah) for $
-filming the school play, recital, graduation, et al for $
-filming and editing pieces for a local non profit, as a volunteer
-youth member on a skateboard/ city parks committee
-won a prize in a local competition w/ his latest skateboard film
-taking photography at CC this summer</p>

<p>He has been enthusiastic to do all these things. For the volunteer work, he was nominated by a teacher who knew his filmmaking skills. For the parks committee, I saw a notice in the local paper advertising for applicants and brought it to his attention. The rest he put together on his own.</p>

<p>kevster: Cooking is a very different EC, and a good life skill. If looking for more opportunities, you could find other venues like: helping out at soup kitchen, meals on wheels, etc. Working in a restaurant is a great idea. Maybe you could write a kids cooking column for a local paper?</p>

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<p>

</p>

<p>I’ve taken courses over the summer for art (not pre-college/college level or amazing, but they’re meant for highschool students interested in art), and am planning to submit a portfolio… but it’s nearing the end of my junior year and I’ve seemed to miss any competitions I could’ve tried for :confused: does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do?</p>

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<p>the soup kitchen idea seems very interesting.</p>

<p>Ugh, im trying to find a soup kitchen volunteering program near my city, but I think there’s none! (?)</p>