What happened to the thread?

Colleges & Universities Service Academy Parents
1

<p>What happened to the thread? Just when we were all gonna have a nice cold beer together…well bottoms up anyway.</p>

<p>Here’s my joke contribution to the previous thread that was yanked…do so hope that momof1 posts hers again…BTW, you know who is not invited! </p>

<hr>

<p>Shamus asked Paddy how he got his black eye. </p>

<p>“You’d never believe it,” said Paddy, “but I got it in church.”
He said he had been sitting behind a fat lady and when they stood for a hymn, he noticed her dress was creased into the cheeks of her bottom.
“All I did was lean forward and pull it out and she turned around and hit me.” Said Paddy. </p>

<p>A week later Shamus was surprised to see Paddy had another black eye.
“I got this one in church, too,” explained Paddy.
He said he found himself behind the same fat woman and when they stood for a hymn her dressed was once again creased into the cheeks of her bottom.
“My little nephew reached forward and pulled it out. But I knew she didn’t like that, so I leaned over and tucked it back.”</p>

2

<p>Oh man! I wonder if mine was the offensive post. Let’s see, shall we?</p>

<p>Never Choke In A Southern Restaurant</p>

<p>Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whiskey, they talk
about their moonshine operation.</p>

<p>Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to
cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real
distress.</p>

<p>One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, “Kin ya swallar?” The woman
shakes her head no. “Kin ya breathe?” The woman begins to turn blue and
shakes her head no.</p>

<p>The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress,
yanks
down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his
tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the
obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the
hillbilly walks slowly back to the bar.</p>

<p>His partner says, Ya know, I’d heerd of that there ‘Hind Lick Maneuver’,
but
I ain’t never seed nobody do it!"</p>

3

<p>LOL! OOOO! Thanks for putting that back on here. My printer is humming away in case these go away again. Funny stuff. LOL</p>

4

<p>A pirate standing on deck says to the another pirate, “Arrrr”. The other pirate looks at him and says, “Funny…Thats just what I was thinking.”</p>

<p>Copy & paste from another thread: In answer to your question PM,
Oouuuummmm Oouuummmmmm! I did it! I did it! I summoned the Great Ghost Blackbeard himself & he took care of our little problem! I am so COOL! Bow before me! Oouuummmmmm. <em>Jamzmom blows out her magic candle.</em></p>

5

<p>I love the pirate thing.</p>

<p>Around the August before last, (during Plebe summer~I was a wreck:-), very seriously and with tears in my eyes, (we must have been watching Lifetime :slight_smile: I turned to my husband and asked if there were things that he had wanted to do that being married and a father had kept him from. I waited, as he summoned up the courage to tell me that secret passion that I had prevented him from attaining. He paused long, looked me squarely in the eyes, and said, in the most straightforward way,…</p>

<p>“I always wanted to be a pirate.”</p>

<p>After a brief pause to let it all sink in, I laughed in relief. Since then, whenever I see a bit of pirate paraphenalia I pick it up, and try to let him live a little bit of his dream. </p>

<p>Arrgggghhhh!!! Indeed!</p>

6

<p>Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We pillage, we plunder, we rifle, and loot,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We kidnap and ravage and don’t give a hoot,
Drink up me 'earties, yo ho.</p>

<p>Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We extort, we pilfer, we filch, and sack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
Maraud and embezzle, and even high-jack,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.</p>

<p>Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me.
We kindle and char, inflame and ignite,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We burn up the city, we’re really a fright,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.</p>

<p>We’re rascals, scoundrels, villans, and knaves,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.
We’re devils and black sheep, really bad eggs,
Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.</p>

<p>:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D</p>

7

<p>Oh no! Now I have Pirates of the Carribean in my head~almost as insidious as “It’s a Small World.” Oh no, hope I haven’t planted that seed for anyone! :)</p>

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<p>Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You’ve seen it all, you’ve seen it all </p>

<p>Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream </p>

<p>Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don’t thunder, there’s nothin’ to plunder
I’m an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late </p>

<p>I’ve done a bit of smugglin’, I’ve run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy Miami, but I ****ed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last </p>

<p>And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got stop wishin’, got to go fishin’
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends</p>

<p>I go for younger women, lived with several awhile
Though I ran 'em away, they’d come back one day
Still could manage to smile
Just takes a while, just takes a while </p>

<p>Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I’ve found
My occupational hazard being my occupation’s just not around
I feel like I’ve drowned, gonna head uptown </p>

<p>I feel like I’ve drowned, gonna head uptown</p>

<p>A Pirate Looks At Forty
by - Jimmy Buffett
From - A-1-A</p>

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<p>momof1 -
too late I’m visualizing (and singing) the whole Pirates of the Carribean thing right now and will probably be doing it at 3 a.m. also! Never could believe those lyrics were on a Disneyland attaction!!!</p>

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<p>That is sooo funny Momof1! Your husband & you are both now members of our pirate club officially! LOL </p>

<p>Ah. Jimmy Buffet, my friend. Wish I had a penny for all the margaritas drank in his honor. I’d be filthy rich. </p>

<p>I’ve waited & waited. July 7th is coming soon. I’m going to see this just because I have to see if Keith Richards plays as good of pirate as Johnny Depp did the first go round. You savvy? :slight_smile:
<a href=“Disney Movies | Official Site”>Disney Movies | Official Site;

<p>Yo ho yo ho is stuck in my head now too. Thanks to Zap & the link above.</p>

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<p>Pirate fans will just love this…</p>

<p><a href=“International Talk Like A Pirate Day – Sept. 19, every year since 2002”>International Talk Like A Pirate Day – Sept. 19, every year since 2002;