The posts above are reflective of the type of cynicism we hear about among AO’s (see recent Reddit article on this topic) - I am so depressed!!
Perhaps, other parents on here will have observed what we have observed in our kiddo; sports (in addition to golf) were the arena in which some tough life lessons (so far) have been learned, not to mention fostering of maturity. It was through sports, that my kiddo learned to stand up to an abusive coach and bullies on the team. Lessons @ loss, commitment, pain, and resilience are what most (if not all) of our kids have experienced through sports participation - especially at the high profile high school Varsity level. It was through one sport (in particular) that kiddo learned to be on a team with competitors of different genders and also to compete against adults. It was also through sports, that this once-shy kid learned to become a leader. It will be sad that so much of the fabric of kiddo’s young life will not be an allowable essay topic.
What do your kids do - just not write about it or talk about?
While we are on that topic of when sports is off the table and you are thinking of your kiddo’s resilience…here is a recent article about “Grit”. BTW, I our kids (particularly those who have flown off to BS) must have a good amount of it!
Yes, my daughter struggled mightily as a freshman on a varsity team several years ago. It was a lesson in humility and the need for extreme grit. I feel like that would make a great essay and have been leery of suggesting it because it’s “about sports.”
It seriously annoys me that sports are somehow seen as a “lesser” activity when in fact they often take up far more time (pretty sure you don’t have to shower after MUN) and are incredibly intense both physically and emotionally.
I don’t think sports is a lesser activity at all, it is just that so many kids write their essays at least partially about sports that AOs may tune them out as it is all blending together and makes it very hard to stand out from the crowd. Especially considering that AOs have some 5-10 minutes to review your entire application.
But realistically, almost all topics at this point are common enough that the AOs have seen them before. There is entire industry around helping kids come up with unique topics or unique angle on common topics and write unique essays, and I am not sure how much you can do to stand out that way. We have been told to just try to be yourself and try to tell them something they did not read in other parts of the application, and I think my daughter did decent enough job of that, based on the acceptances she received.
Nobody is saying sports are “lesser” but being a varsity athlete isn’t uncommon/unique either and the value in an application diminishes when one isn’t recruitable.
And I do value the time commitment. I had one kid playing a sport at the highest level and juggling 2-3 teams at a time playing 7 days per week and the other committed 18 hours per week to performing arts (and needed to shower ). Both still did other activities.
It’s not that your child won’t have great success getting into her chosen colleges, just an opinion that one shouldn’t overweight the impact of the athletics both overall and relative to other activities.
But that is not necessarily what colleges expect or care about. And while some kids thrive being on the go 24/7, it is detrimental to many (see the poor grades thread). For the record, my older kid was the one who did sports and a bunch of other things. One of her best friends only did ballet, which she quit to go to college (she did have professional job offer but wanted to go to college instead). And she is at Princeton, better school than any of her friends who filled up all or almost all of the EC lines on the application.
Sure, as I mentioned, students can do fine in college admissions. My point - don’t overvalue sports in getting them there. Just because an activity takes up loads of time doesn’t mean that correlates to application success. Also, sports (without recruitment) isn’t necessarily better than other activities. I see dismissing of non-sports activities in this thread.
And academic performance still trumps everything at a school like Princeton.
While I am sure this is true in a lot of cases it smacks to me of over scheduling and not being an impact player in either ec. If a kid is doing a varsity sport 6 days a week and getting good grades and having any kind of relationships with peers, mun could take maybe 3 hours a week? Is that really a deep ec or is that resume filler?
I’m sure some kids are able to do everything you’ve listed. My kids are not. My kids also happen to go to two of the most demanding prep schools in the country which I’m sure has a very large impact on this equation. Neither school is big on work life balance but both my kids thrive academically. I’m realizing that this probably has the most impact actually.
It does and it’s fine. If that’s what works for your kids and they are doing great academically, let it be. Good for them. Lots of great colleges out there as well. I’m sure they’ll do fine. Kids from such schools generally do.
Agree with DosChicos. There ARE many kids out there who are doing sports at high levels and doing other things. MUN might take a couple of hours per week. But there are kids who do two or even three big things ( 20 plus hours outside of school). These kids get overwhelmed and some are the type that want to do everything. And they want to take all the AP classes too. Just how some are wired.
Someone mentioned a dancer above and slightly dismissed it. But I’d bet if that dancer had a professional option that s/he was top level and spent lots of hours on it. That was the ticket to Princeton, no?
Sometimes it’s less about being the impact player and more about stretching yourself into multiple areas you like to see what path you like. Especially at this age.
I think it’s just really important that kids find their own paths. My kids are overdoers. They schedule in so many things. And they are deep in each. So being the leader in a group, a top athlete and an academic kid are all goals for them. They won’t quit. It’s how they are wired. And they are successful. Not my DNA. But I have seen lots of kids like this at BS. So many kids who are wired to live life deeply. They are happy being busy. Though sometimes it can hit the fan and they need to sleep the whole weekend.
I don’t think this is uncommon at most BS at all. Most kids do a lot of things.
I’m in a similar place, but a year further along, as the OP. My daughter will have 10 varsity letters when she graduates this spring from a top BS but she’s not a viable recruit at the mid sized D1 schools that she favors. She has one other notable EC outside of sports but it is hard to determine if it matters to many schools.
I think that if your kid has good grades and good scores from a top BS as well as solid sports ECs that’s enough for all but the most selective colleges and universities and sometimes it’s good enough for those too if the grades and scores are really good. Your college counselor, and Naviance, will help you determine what are reasonable choices for “likely”, “match” and “reach” schools. “Reasonable” is key though.
Ideally, your kid has done what they wanted to, not what they thought was what colleges wanted. The kid who played one sport year round on an elite club team and at,BS and who realizes that their quality of play isn’t what it needs to be for their top choice schools, has made a choice to prioritize the schools over the teams. Other kids might put teams first. Some might have had a temperament that wanted to do ECs in addition to sports. If what they chose was authentic, it’s fine.
While an AO doesn’t want to read about a sports event (gosh, how many info sessions advised against this), it’s fine to write about being the kind of person who does things immersively (the serial monogamist approach to passions) or who discovers something about themselves and the world through connections with teammates. But it has to be about who you are, not you the player or the sport.
Maybe something in the decision to not continue was important to personal learning. Any of those things are as fine start for an essay. The essay is simply about who you are.
). Both still did other activities.