<p>Many of us have seen this question. How honest am I to be? I want to give two specific examples but I don’t want to be identified.</p>
<p>Should I allude to an illness that resulted in missed school?
Should I mention unhappiness with a specific school and her actions?</p>
<p>I’d say to avoid mentioning the unhappiness part…to me that could be interpreted as “The Rose2014 family sounds like they could be high maintenance/like to complain.”</p>
<p>Of course, I used “could” because I have no idea what the actual situation was/is.</p>
<p>I think the illness part is fine, especially if your child had to overcome not just the illness but being behind at school.</p>
<p>Do you want examples of other people’s answers? If so, here’s how I answered the question (this is not the essay itself). My daughter had surgery and Lyme Disease within three months of each other – we didn’t know about the Lyme Disease when she had the surgery – which caused her to fall irretrievably behind in her chosen sport. She was also unhappy socially in a situation not of her own making. We put her in a new academic setting and her life turned around. Things weren’t perfect – she was never able to join the high ranks in her sport, as she had planned, and she struggled with the aftereffects of Lyme Disease for a long time – but she achieved happiness, friendship, and academic honor in her new school. Her old dreams of success in her sport went away, but new dreams and opportunities opened to her.</p>
<p>I tried to emphasize the good that came out of the situation, rather than the heartbreak. I went on to say that if she were admitted to boarding school, that would be yet another example of something new and wonderful coming into her life to take the place of the dreams that went away.</p>
<p>If the illness was severe, mention it in the context of how strong your child proved during this challenge and how s/he persevered academically and socially.</p>
<p>Do not mention being unhappy in your current school. Instead, focus on the opportunities the new school offers that the old one didn’t and how the fit would be better at the new school. Focus on the strengths that your child can bring to the new school. Otherwise, the admissions committee may wonder what lengths you’ll go to if you become unhappy at <em>their</em> school. Above all, do not badmouth anyone! Think of it as a job interview. You never badmouth your former employer if you want to be viewed as mature and professional. You stay upbeat and positive.</p>
<p>One more question. Her actions based on her unhappiness at her previous school (not the current one) will be in her transcripts. She changed schools as a result of her actions (by her choice, not the schools choice). Do I still stay mum on the subject or should I address it head on. The actions were bad but the cause was understandable to all concerned and it had to do with our international life style. I mean this wasn’t the schools fault… no bad mouthing of the school will occur. The problem instead was solely her and our lifestyle.</p>
<p>I’d explain the situation. After all, you’re probably talking about a child in 5th or 6th grade, who was under extreme pressure, and who (snapped, withered, or rebelled) because of it. The important thing is to describe what your child learned from the situation and how she has matured since that time.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s just me, but when my daughter applied to boarding school, I was afraid to withhold information, so I told everything. I figured the admissions officers were going to find out everything anyway. Plus, I wanted them to “know” my whole child and decide if they really wanted her.</p>
<p>I absolutely agree with BSB… while it’s important not to “bash” previous schools or present your family as helicopter/high maintenance/potentially trouble, it’s also important for schools to know the “whole” child. And the ability to describe how one grew through (or despite) adverse situations, even if the process is not yet complete, shows resilience. I’d lay it all out there, in the best light you can while still acknowledging the challenges.</p>
<p>Assuming you are looking at a range of schools, and really seeking a good fit, it’s very important that you present a clear picture of your child and the experiences that have shaped her. As one AO said to me, “we don’t just want good students, we want students who can really benefit from being at our school.” Every student brings something different to the table.</p>
<p>Here’s my advice, and I give it because of the extreme competitiveness of the BS admissions process. If there are things in your daughter’s life that she is still struggling with, and will most likely still be present in BS, then yes, I would disclose them. In the end you want a school that can meet the current needs of your child.</p>
<p>On the other hand, if your child encountered a difficult period in 5th or 6th grade that is well behind her, then I certainly would not dredge that up on a BS application. I kept the answer to that question pretty basic - “had to overcome time management issues, initial struggle with increase in work load from lower to middle school, overcame peer pressure in middle school to exclude less popular classmates”. Things that my child dealt with but was successful in overcoming. I thought that helped showcase my child’s growth and development.</p>
<p>Edit to my previous post after reading OP’s post #5. If there is a notation in her transcript relating to a particular incident, then yes, I would address it head on. I think an Admissions Officer would expect that, and it gives you the opportunity to explain it in the best light.</p>
<p>I agree. If there is something in her transcript, explain it and also emphasize how your child learned from the experience and made sure it never happened again. If it was a classroom flip out and she got suspended, for example, did she flip out as a result of bullying? If so, tell them what she did not only to advocate for herself but also to address the issue of bullying in the school community as a whole (just an example). The admissions committee is going to look for problem solvers, not problem tellers. The emphasis should be on what your daughter did to solve the problem not only for herself, but for other students in the community who might be facing the same thing. Show them that if she encounters a problem at her new school, she not only has the coping skills to handle it in a mature way, but that she will also advocate for her fellow classmates.</p>
<p>Thank you all. We will answer the question with honesty and explain how it was a one time event.</p>
<p>As a consultant said to me “there’s nothing that these schools haven’t seen or heard before”. Be honest and yes, as HarvestMoon said, you want a school that will be a good fit.</p>