It has sort of dawned on me the past few years I really don’t like overnight guests, outside my nuclear family of course. That includes parents and in laws. I don’t like to have to “entertain, chat, be nice” first thing in the morning. I don’t like how I feel or look around anyone besides DS and kids. I know I can’t avoid it, but I don’t like it really.
I say this as I’m waiting for MIL and her husband to awaken.
I’ve noticed that I’ve lost the appetite and energy to throw or attend large parties. I prefer small gatherings now.
I also find that I’m reading much less, and watching TV shows more, be it content from HBO, Netflix, Amazon, PBS… I find the writing, the production values, and just the overall talent behind television today has increased exponentially over the past few years. This is a big change for me; I used to read a few books a week from virtually every genre.
I do not enjoy spending time with my parents as much as I used to. Our politics have diverged significantly and I live in a very different community than they do so I guess the generation gap just keeps getting wider with time. It really is a shame. I guess we are all just getting more “set in our ways”. That narrow mindedness was what I did not like about the community I grew up in and part of why I left but I remember my parents being less in step with our neighbors when I was growing up.
I’ve realized I really love entertaining. I love having people around. I love cooking for people. I wish I knew more people so I could do more of it. I’ve also gotten to be very good at it.
I don’t want people around all the time, but I love the planning, the anticipation, the actual event, and even the cleaning up and putting away afterwards.
Ok…I’ve just spent an hour after MIL got up listening to her prattle about her husbands, cousins 5 year old grandchild, the health Issues, in detail, of one of their friends in Florida, i could just go and on. I wanted to scream. I had to excuse myself to get ready for the day. I’m hiding in my bedroom with my iPad. They are leaving sometime today, but I don’t know when. I’m having a hard time hiding my annoyance.
@conmama , I’m right there with you, and I’ll go one step further. Not only do I not enjoy hosting guests, I don’t enjoy BEING an overnight guest either. H and I would much rather stay in a hotel than someone’s home. That morning chitchat (and evening chitchat) is exhausting for us.
I’ve also discovered that I have higher expectations of people than I ever thought, and that I’ll never ever ever feel satisfied with the way my body looks. I always thought that eventually, when I hit a certain age, I’d stop obsessing (not in a destructive way, just the usual “do I look fat in this?”), but it hasn’t happened yet!
Ditto above. I’ve become less patient. Things annoy me more easily. And I do not want to hear people whining about their relatively minor medical maladies. I am very supportive and want to help if someone has a medical crisis and needs some help, but no, I don’t want to hear about your indigestion, sinus issues, and constant complaints about what your aches and pains will keep you from doing. Get a grip. I have less patience for negativity. Constant complainers are annoying.
@JustaMom5465 …oh yes, I hate that evening chitchat, too! I’ve already told DH that if we have to travel to see our kids we are getting a hotel. I also don’t like to be a guest. I need my space. Several of my friends with older children than I, that travel, say they always get a hotel. I don’t want my kids to cringe when they find out I’m visiting. It might be over something else, but it won’t be because I’m invading their space and sanity.
I realized that I’m a good artist 
Only took me 46 years to have confidence in myself there.
I’m planning to paint a small watercolor for H’s best friend for his engagement gift to his wife. (He’s also my good friend and I’ve known him for at least a decade). H was trying to dictate what the picture should look like. The old me would have caved, or (more likely) not done it at all because I’d lost confidence that it would be any good.
The new me said “I know what I’m doing; you’re welcome to get him your own gift if you don’t like the result, but I’m doing it my way.” (he’s an engineer, not an artist, and wanted something that was compositionally wrong).
I agree, that I would rather not stay with someone else. We take the dog everywhere now, so staying in a pet friendly AirBNB is great when visiting friends. I think you have hit the nail on the head about too much togetherness. After these holidays, I realize I like the company of just my spouse as a retreat from socializing with a broader group of friends or family members.
My daughter is in college - her roommates parents have stayed at their place instead of a hotel. D hates it. When they first moved in the dad stayed since he had off for the weekend! Creepy to the extreme in my opinion, but others thought it was me and d who were too fussy.
Bad: I’ve discovered that I’m not significantly more comfortable with the process of aging at 55 years old than I was at 35 years old (or any other earlier time in my life). Good: Despite being shy and socially awkward and having strong political views, I’m able to get along in work and social situations with most people and I’m usually eager to be a peacemaker.
I’ve learned my metabolism doesn’t keep up with my desire for Christmas cookies, so making a conscious decision to exercise is way more important than it used to be.
A wise friend of mine pointed out that when you hit your 60s, you have much less patience with many of life’s common occurrences. I believe she used the word crotchety.
It’s true.
Hmm, I think I’ve become more patient. More able to seperste the big stuff to sweat from the small stuff. I’ve also become more prompt and more organized.
Bad: I’ve discovered I can’t just “walk” 5 lbs off in a week like I used to. My motivation for returning to the gym is my bad back and weakening legs. I don’t have patience for whiny people (yes, I know I’m whining, too). I love to entertain but can’t last past 10:00PM. I’m not as close to my father as I used to be. He’s remarried and I’ve given up on trying to please his wife.
Good: while DH and I enjoy each other’s company and I have a rather large social group, I have found that I love the peace and solitude of being alone. I am closer to my children who are now out on their own. When I start to feel physically better, I’ll be able to say “life is good”.
I’ve become more aware of all the little things that life makes you do that you don’t want to waste time with. Why does modern life require ‘wasting’ time with all the life management stuff like getting the various insurances (health, car, home), doing taxes, monitoring investments, banking, home repairs, car repairs, cleaning, shopping for groceries and all the rest of it. I want to do more of what I WANT to do and less of what I feel like I HAVE to do.
I’ve learned that I really do enjoy cooking when I have the time. I love planning meals and taking the time to find all the right ingredients. I also like entertaining more than I use to although I still prefer small groups rather than large ones.
I think crotchety refers to anyone older than we are 
Its more akin to being grumpy. Personally, I don’t think I am more grumpy. I just don’t put up with or easily tolerate petty nonsense or stupidity any more. Life is too short.
I am more out of shape than I thought I was. This year’s Christmas prep really taxed my body (ridiculous). My legs were cramping like crazy every night.
I didn’t expect to feel so tired at 47.