<p>I put my D. in rec league volleyball when she was 8, because I just happened to read in the paper that someone had done a study showing that girls who are in organized sports before 9 are more likely to be active and fit as adults.</p>
<p>I feel kind of gullible in retrospect, but so far, the results are there.</p>
<p>Yeah, but then again, the problem is the vast majority of kids quit organized sports by age 13…which is when they need it the most. I think are most are driven out because of how unhappy they’ve become (IME). So we put them into something that should be positive and constructive early and then by the time positive, constructive, a way to resist peer pressure, is MOST necessary, they want to wash their hands of the whole thing.</p>
<p>You raise a good point. She played varsity in middle school for a couple of years, then didn’t try out in 8th grad, because the competition was a lot tougher and her skills just weren’t there. She didn’t want to put in the time it would have taken to try to bring them up. Luckily, she had the rec league to fall back on so she could still play. (She eventually made HS varsity, but at a school where they didn’t expect the kids to practice more than 4 hours a week).</p>
<p>Unfortunately the days of letting kids outside to play on their own from sunup to sundown are gone. When we were kids, we’d be out on our bikes, tromping to the beach, canoeing and swimming in the creeks behind our neighborhoods, and basically carousing all day. Nowadays, I’d be branded for letting my kids do what my mom, who was considered a strict parent, let me do.</p>
<p>If parents don’t want their kids to sit in front of a monitor half their lives, we have limited choices- scouting, organized sports, and academic/fine arts related activities, all of which are organized and only two involved fitness-oriented pursuits (something kids are lacking nowadays).</p>
<p>My kids played LL since they were 7. We weren’t crazy LL parents and our boys liked playing. Not all parents are crazed, just like not all parents are like some of the crazed “You are a loser because you didn’t score perfect on the SAT” parents we hear about on these boards.</p>
<p>I’m glad my boys learned a team sport because it gave them that niche in high school that boys yearn for- a group, a brotherhood. Maybe it’s a throwback to the old joisting days, but for some reason teen boys like being out there and having people (girls especially) cheer them on. Their best friends are kids they played ball with. Even now that we are “done” with baseball (my sons have both graduated, one is a sophomore in college), they’ll still go out with a wiffle ball and bat and play silly games with their buddies. They never looked down on kids who weren’t involved in sports, but they sure were glad they had sports in their own lives.</p>
<p>Most of the kids they played ball with who did go on to college to play, did so by putting years in at the community college level. The CC’s in our state provide the training ground for ball players to transfer into the state U’s. My kids did not want to go this route; heck, they didn’t want to play baseball in college period (except for intramurals/fraternity sports).</p>
<p>Kids who want to go to their first choice colleges should get there on their academic merits. Any coach/advisor will tell kids- do not depend on athletics to get you into your first choice schools. Chances are, athletes who do get scholarships will NOT end up at their first choices.</p>
<p>I think many of us put our kids into the rec sports programs as a part of socializing, for the parents as much as the kids. When it is done well, EVERYONE has a wonderful time PLAYING. Maybe they learn a few skills, but mostly they are having fun being kids - so what if they are looking for 4 leaf clovers in the outfield or rolling in the grass in the soccer field. Unfortunately there always seems to be the one coach/team that has too much of a competitive streak and everyone in town knows who they are. Games played with “that team” is always done with much eye-rolling and head-shaking. </p>
<p>I do agree that there comes a time when only the most serious players advance or continue in their sports and everyone else just drops out - it’s usually around 12/13 or so. And that’s okay too. It’s really those parents who push their kids that create any kind of problem.</p>
<p>“Unfortunately the days of letting kids outside to play on their own from sunup to sundown are gone.”</p>
<p>Douleplay I agree with you but the question is why? We make the world we live in. We are free men in a free society with the power and God given responsiility to govern ourselves.</p>
<p>My sons experience with sports was similar to yours. He was never a star but loved to play. After HS he got a Summer job umpiring. Did everything from 8-10 year olds to geezer leagues. Played a little club baseball in college, but nothing serious and still wasn’t a star.</p>
<p>I new early on he didn’t have the skill or size in any of his sports to carry on past high school. It is one of those things every parent both loves and hates that they get to see the dreams and aspirations of a naive kid. So many of those dreams will close as they grow and new ones open as they mature. Every 10 year olds wants and believes he can be a big League baseball player, an Olympic athelete, the next Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan. It is both heartbreaking when it dawns on them that they can’t and beautiful when they realize there are so many other opportunities out there that they never dreamed of when they were 10.</p>
<p>My son just graduated college a couple of days ago and starts law school in the Fall. He still likes playing all kinds of sports and is still umpiring for everything from 10 year olds to geezer leagues. I believe his current dream is to negotiate the next Michael Jordan’s rookie contract and learn how to play golf. That dream is in the realm of possiility. The NFL on the other hand isn’t looking for a 175 lb linebacker:-)</p>
<p>Good post kluge but too cynical. There has to be room for people who volunteer simply to make the game happen.</p>
<p>I played backyard ball and Little League. In backyard ball, I was in the last picked group–or the left on the fence group. I was tiny and not very ball-oriented. I still played. In Little League, I was relegated to the far, far outfield. My recollection is that we routinely had scores of 56 to 10, Them. My parents never came to any games. They had four good athletes to watch. The one and only time my mother came to my basketball game was the one and only time I was put into a game–where I instantly double dribbled.</p>
<p>I tried out for every single sports team at my highly competitive girls’ school (the basketball team won state). I didn’t make a single team. Nevermind, I went to a bunch of games. None of these slightings hurt my ego. I maintained the confidence of Wonderwoman–just not in the athletic arena.</p>
<p>My oldest son had a series of gifted coaches. His first best basketball coach was a gorgeous young mum whose son was the most gifted player on the team. Still, she taught all of the boys how to play --and win. She was loud though–and she made the opposing male coaches squirm as she beat their teams into oblivion. The boys gave her everything they had and they learned so much from her black and white rules. “Do that again and you’re out of the game! You’re OUT!” (At which point she would sit next to the boy and paitently explained why whatever he did was not good basketball).</p>
<p>Next my son had the school janitor as his baseball coach–a gentle, soft spoken fellow who sometimes took the bus to the fields because he didn’t have a car. The boys played their hearts out for him. Interestingly, his class turned out a number of superior high school athletes.</p>
<p>His final best coach was a well-known basketball coach who worked at the dominant, inner city, all African American school. He allowed our son to show up on summer days to work out with his team–for a fee. He pushed our suburban boy to the limit–and gave him the lifelong confidence to join pickup games on any continent. After his college intramural season, he played for an investment bank–as one of their ringers. networking through bball, LOL.</p>
<p>My youngest son had the opposite experience. His class had a dearth of athletic talent among the boys (the girls were outstanding and tough as) and a corresponding excess of Feel Good Dad coaches. the games were painful to watch. A dad on first base, a dad on the bench, a dad behind home plate telling every boy how to swing, a dad pitching (up until age 9) and a dad on third base. All of the dads were highly accomplished whatevers–but they were not seasoned athletes and they didn’t pass on the great lessons of team sports. Instead they called out all kinds of ridiculous praise after strke outs. “That’s okay! you’ll do better next time!”</p>
<p>Interestingly, that class produced one or two good high school athletes.</p>
<p>You know, cheers, the last point you make is one I learned as well: I started off leery of the more competitive coaches. But by the time I was done I had come to think that, for the most part, they were right. I came to realize that the most egregious abuse of the “noble cause” in service of a purely selfish motive (either for personal gain or to attack a rival) invariably involved the use of various forms of “Political Correctness” as their weapon.</p>
<p>And don’t get me wrong - I was and remain a supporter of youth sports - and, by necessity these days, organized youth sports. Each of my kids had, at one time or another, a fabulous coach/mentor in one or more sports, and each benefited, in my opinion, from the experience as a whole. Winning, and even more, losing, over and over, and coming back for more is a tremendous life lesson. And it’s a lesson only made possible by a lot of hardworking adult volunteers. There were a lot of people out there putting in many, many hours just so kids could play sports. But that wasn’t “the lesson I learned” - because I already knew about people’s ability to be good and selfless. It was the other part that came as a difficult lesson. ;)</p>
<p>“My parents never came to any games”</p>
<p>Boy IF parents only knew how bad that is. From sports to parent conferences, you can see a difference if the parent is there. No offense to cheers, mine made very few of my games too. I noticed. </p>
<p>When I became a dad, I made a decision to make everything possible, even a few impossible games. We still made college games whenever possible. It was funny, even in college for club LAX, my S’s teammates noticed we were there. Quietly watching a sport we knew little about. They always came over and said hi to us and the couple other parents that were there. </p>
<p>Like Kulge found it is a different world when you decide to help by running the show for everybody. You do learn more than you would like about people. For the most part, if you work it right, it’s some of the best time of your life though. I had a chance to introduce alot of parents and kids into the beautiful game. I tend to remember the smiles and fun over the dissappointments though.</p>