So I graduated just last week, and I’m heading down to my college in late August. I don’t know exactly why I’m writing this: partially for a sense of closure, partially because I think I learned some lessons that some of you should learn, and partially to gain a deeper understanding of my own experience. I understand that high school can be a very stressful time: you’re balancing academics and self discovery and achievement and a million different other things. And I think sometimes we forget to enjoy the little things: the time your friend cracked a joke during your passing period, eating lunch with new people, your first day in a new class. So I compiled some of my most important “lessons” from high school.
-Grades aren’t everything. Let me repeat that. GRADES. AREN’T. EVERYTHING. Mind you, if you think not getting a 4.0 and throwing yourself a pity party because you have a 3.9 because you think you won’t get into Harvard, you’re just really in over your head. Yes, things don’t always work out the way you want them to. Good things happen, bad things happen, in general, life just happens. When a lot of us plan things, we don’t make room for change. When you have a plan, be it for grades, classes, or whatever, understand that life happens, and that moping around and complaining on these forums won’t help. When the time comes, you have to be your own damn hero and make the best out of every situation and understand that your accomplishments are valid, even if they’re not perfect.
-High school isn’t a 4 year audition for college. Do things you love, not things that Princeton, Stanford, Harvard, or any big name school will love (or rather, you think they’ll love. I’ll get to this point later). If you do the things you love, be it skateboarding, swimming, math, playing the viola, whatever it is, you’ll be more than just numbers on a page a 350 word statement. You don’t have to be cookie cutter to be absolutely amazing. On the other hand, if you are motivated by this “Holy Grail” of a college, for the rest of your life, college and on, you’ll struggle to stay motivated when you realize you’re just hitting the grindstone and there’s no short term goal to be achieved.
-Don’t be jealous of others. Just because your friend won an award you wanted or a classmate got into a school you wanted to doesn’t mean you don’t stand a chance at anything anymore. When someone has a “boost” for getting into college (URM, low income, first gen, etc. ALL OF WHICH ARE PROBABLY NOT ADVANTAGEOUS IN ANY FORM IN REAL LIFE), don’t fret. Understand you are your own person, and when you infuse your own values into other people, you’re just intimidating yourself. Do your own thing, make your own choices: in the end no one is in charge of your own fate except you.
-Learn to be happy for others. This is pretty similar to my last point. If your friend or anyone you care about achieves something when you didn’t (yes, even when you REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to), JUST BE HAPPY FOR THEM. Don’t get jealous or petty because they got into University X or Y College and you didn’t. Mind you, their accomplishments (or downfalls) have nothing to with your life. Celebrate achievements, whether or not they’re yours. It makes you a better person, trust me.
-There is no formula for real life. Understand that when you get into college, it’s the beginning of the rest of your life. And getting to this point means there’s no real formula or “true” way to achieve it. Make your own plays and call your own shots. Unlike certain classes where you study X, Y, Z to get an A, most colleges don’t have specific things that they are looking for. Think about it. Kids that go to Stanford (or any other school) are cooks, junior politicians, scientists, singers, athletes, and every little thing in between. Everyone has their own little thing that makes them unique. Find your own formula and make your own life.
-Do something that makes you proud. In your senior year, when everything is said and done, when a teacher, junior, sophomore, freshman, coach, or whatever, asks you the question “What is the thing you’re most proud of in high school?” you should be able to answer that question with no hesitation. And this can be anything: winning an award, cooking and not burning the house down, conquering a fear, asking someone to a dance (whether or not they said yes :P), making a friend, really anything that makes you look back and fills your chest with a split second of pride.
This is just a small sample of what I learned in high school. I’m not asking you guys to learn these lessons, you are your own people with your own constructs. You do you. I only ask you to respect the things I have written. Just because you have had different experiences, it does not make you better or worse than me. I wish the High School Class of 2020 and beyond good luck as they enter a whirlwind of a four years. Remember to enjoy these four years. The classes may last an eternity, the days forever, and the months are sometimes far too long, but the years fly by in an instant. Blink and you’ll miss it.