Hi, I’ve been doing the college search for a while and i’ve come up with a very solid list, but recently, I started to feel like none of the schools on my list are for me, or that I wouldn’t be happy at them.
I’m not sure if the process is getting to me, or I genuinely am having a change of heart about the schools. None of them seem appealing anymore, but five months ago when I toured the east coast, I loved most of them.
Any advice on how I can determine how much/if I still like the schools?
For reference, here are the schools that I’m applying to, in no particular order: WUSTL, Bowdoin, Skidmore, Tufts, Providence College, Vassar, and Reed College. I’ve visited all but WUSTL
Do you have a copy of Fiske? Read every word carefully about the schools you are considering. Make a pros/cons list for each school, and run the net price calculator for each one. Examine the web site about your major and look in the catalog for course offerings. It should help you clarify why you would or wouldn’t apply.
The same thing happened to me. Imagine it’s like falling in love. You first fall in love and everything about them is great. This is the honeymoon phase. What’s happened is that you’ve simply fallen out of the honeymoon phase are are starting to see the flaws that these college have. You are also starting to have some doubts about your reaches. Colleges that you thought were a reach, but definitely in reach, are now starting to feel like giants you can’t get to, and that makes you somewhat dispise that.
You’ll have the same thing happen to you once you go to college. You’ll love it for the first couple of months and then the magic will wear off, and then you will return to normal.
Advice? See a marriage counselor. Just kidding I would recommend you figure out what attracted you in the first place, and see if that still holds true. Maybe you used liked the small, intimate atmosphere of that college, and now you think you’d prefer a larger school. That is reason to change your list. However, if you still prefer all the things that college has to offer, then maybe see why you are having doubts. Do you no longer think it is in reach? Are you worried that you are making the wrong decision? Find the root of these feelings, and see if the reason behind them is valid.
First of all, there is no “ideal” college. You can make your own happiness and your own success, wherever you go.
Second, the advice above is solid. Think out what you are looking for and see which colleges match it. You still have a few months to make changes to your list. But once you have applied to schools, know that you can be happy at any of them and do not second-guess yourself. These are great schools you listed!
In addition to the suggestion about Fiske, I recommend the guide book , The Hidden Ivies, 3rd edition. It does a more in depth job of describing the vibe, identity and student life at various schools. It only profiles 63 schools, but all those on your list with the exception of Providence are included.
If you really went from liking them all to not liking any of them, it’s probably not the schools or your change of heart but just some larger reaction to the stress of the whole process and fear of the unknown or change or something. There’s no magic bullet anyone could say here that just clears that up for you. But know that the vast. vast majority of students end up liking whatever college they end up at and most people look back on their college years as some of the most pleasing of their lives (even if they continue to lead very happy lives). In other words, once there and settled in, it usually works out great and you have no perspective from which to assume it would have been any better elsewhere.
If it’s not that, if you are legitimately realizing you picked the wrong schools, you would need to be more particular about what is either turning you off about them or what it is you think you want. Your list includes schools on both coasts and the middle of the country. It includes small schools and larger ones. Rural and urban. Etc. So it’s hard to look at this list with no additional color and see what pattern they fit that doesn’t appeal to you.
Are you contemplating early decision or action at any of these?
They are all great schools! Maybe you are having qualms about going so far from home? You might look at similar LACs that are closer - the Claremont Consortium, for example. Or Redlands or Oxy if you want to round out your list with some less reachy options?
My D toured four of the eight that you are considering and liked them all. She gravitated towards LACs and smaller universities that were in small towns or low key urban environments. That’s what I see in common among the options in your list.
Only you can decide if you have changed your mind about what you want in a college (ex. do you want a bigger school, an urban school etc.) or is it just cold feet? Maybe if you can visit some different types of colleges closer to home it could help to provide some clarity.
Have you even considered a different type of school? Big flagship, southern school like Vandy, tech/stem school, a Boston school (they come in every shape and size)? I wouldn’t like any of the schools on your list except Providence, but that’s because I wanted a bigger school with top sports (yeah, I get the irony since my football team was 1-10), a lot of choices for majors, a big diversity in students.
No reason not to keep looking. Check out some other options. Make sure you have a sure thing.
I would recommend you figure out what attracted you in the first place, and see if that still holds true. Maybe you used liked the small, intimate atmosphere of that college, and now you think you’d prefer a larger school. That is reason to change your list. However, if you still prefer all the things that college has to offer, then maybe see why you are having doubts. Do you no longer think it is in reach? Are you worried that you are making the wrong decision? Find the root of these feelings, and see if the reason behind them is valid.