<p>Hi,
Is it possible to negatively impact a college’s impression of my daughter by sending too many emails to the admissions counselor? Who actually reviews the application? Does the admissions rep have any “pull” when it comes to thumbs up or thumbs down? It just occurred to me recently that this might be like applying for a job - where you might want to be a bit more formal. I am hoping admissions counselors understand that parents (me) sometimes can be pesky as the college selection process wears on, but you see my question…
thanks!
Wendy aka sometimes-hyper-mom</p>
<p>Yes, it is possible to give admissions counselors a negative opinion of your child if you or your child bombards them with lots of questions, particularly questions that are answered on the website or are trivial. </p>
<p>It’s important for you also to realize that for selective colleges, part of what they look for is how mature and independent the student is. If it appears that the parent, not the student, is applying to college, that can hurt your child’s application. In virtually all cases, if there are questions to be asked, the student, not the parent should be the one asking those questions.</p>
<p>And at many if not most colleges, the admissions rep is the person who has the most pull when it comes to rejecting or accepting students They are very busy and are apt to become annoyed if bombarded with lots of questions. Most college websites do an excellent job of providing information, so one only rarely should need to ask questions of the admissions office.</p>
<p>It really depends on how big the school is and how their admissions office is set up. In som smallaer schools that I’m familiar with, the admissions reps, or the people that go out to visit high schools and sometimes college fairs to promote the college, are also admissions counselors, so they are also part of the group that reviews applications. In larger schools though, or in schools with rolling admission, I can’t imagine that this is the case. </p>
<p>Pestering the admissions office or the admissions counselor is usually NOT a good idea. As Northstarmom noted, these people are very busy, and they aren’t going to look favorably on people calling or emailing them every day, if that’s what you’re doing. And also, it does leave a bad impression, as if you, the parent, are more interested in the school than the student is. This won’t neccesarily (hopefully) cause the admissions committee to evaluate your child on criteria other than his/her merits, but if the counselor in question is on said committee they may look more critically at the application than they would otherwise be inclined to do. They might note that while the parent is very active, the student didn’t leave much of an impresison and so they might not be the best addition to the classroom. </p>
<p>Unless you have a really important question to ask that ONLY the admissions counselor could answer (i.e. a question that can’t be answered by your student’s GC or by reading the school’s website), I would really try to keep contact fairly minimal.</p>
<p>For a visual answer to this question, go to youtube and search on “chapman university admission processing time”.</p>
<p>Pestering anyone, especially by the parent, is a bad idea.</p>
<p>Does your daughter know you’re being “pesky?” Mine would be furious. But, it doesn’t take much these days! 
</p>
<p>I know it’s tempting to want to be in control of the whole process. I have several yellow stickies right in front of me saying “Call such and such admissions office”. Have I done it yet? Nope. Since I’ve already spoken to a couple of the schools’ admissions reps. I can’t bring myself to call again for fear they would roll their eyes and make a negative notation next to my daughter’s name. And, darn it, I forgot my username and password to a portal and the only way I can get it is by calling Admissions! 
But, I just can’t bring myself to call!</p>
<p>I agree, especially about the smaller schools. Most of the time, regional admissions reps–the ones assigned to your state–and your child’s school–are the ones who are reading your child’s application for the first time, and they have a big say in the admissions committee. On the plus side, your child has the opportunity to have a “real” person to direct questions to, possibly be interviewed by, maybe meet at their own HS. Most admissions counselors welcome the opportunity to answer questions from students, and are really forthcoming about giving out emails etc. I encourage students to send relevant (not frivolous) questions to these admissions people, and the reps seem to really enjoy the chance to have a face/question to go with the name on the applications. HOWEVER, to abuse this is a bad idea, just as you would be turned off by a friend forwarding you a repetitive string of those joke emails (or worse, the ones that require you to forward to 10 people within 30 seconds), or a friend who is “the one” who updates her Facebook page every 10 minutes. Quantity doesn’t show your passion for a school more than the next person who send thoughtful, sincere questions about a particular program or requirement.</p>
<p>In my opinion, parents should never be the ones contacting the admissions reps. It’s reasonable to contact admissions with financial aid or other more “nuts and bolts” questions, but during the application period, parents need to back off, unless there’s really some admissions emergency…</p>
<p>Wendy, when you visit, don’t have your daughter steer the majority of the conversation, she should steer it ALL. If she has an interview, you won’t be there. If you’re on a tour or in an info session, you really have to let her be in the front, and you tag along behind… It’s hard, but she’s the one going to college. It will make you proud seeing her take charge. You’ll probably be surprised by some of her questions.</p>
<p>Thanks for the replies. That was an interesting video. At this point I wouldn’t say I have been Obnoxious, but I have certainly contacted the admissions rep more than was absolutely necessary. I guess I should have done a little more research prior to talking with her - my college experience and choice was Nothing like what my daughter’s will be. It has been overwhelming to me to sort through the admissions paper mail and I originally had contacted this college on behalf of my daughter and I have been the only contact with the college thus far. I will back off and when we visit next week I will let my daughter “steer” the majority of the conversation. </p>
<p>Happy Thanksgiving All!
Wendy</p>
<p>When you visit next week, you may want to let your daughter go alone. I tend to ask a lot of questions and we finally started letting DD go by herself. She had a professor ask her where her parents were (we were wandering around campus) and then told her to thank us for not coming along because so many parents do and then control the conversation. Sometimes, it’s hard to let go, but it is so fun to watch them soar on their own.</p>
<p>My daughter also got a very favorable reaction when she went alone to visit college campuses. In her case, she had flown out to the east coast from the west coast, by herself – for us it was a matter of air fare and cost of accommodations. It very well could have been a positive factor in her admissions decision at the college she now attends.</p>
<p>Working in a hs college counseling ofice, I have had the opportunity to ask admissions reps this very question. It really is a bad idea to pester them. They view it as if this parent is such a pain now, she will probably be a pain the entire time her daughter is enrolled here. College reps are not thrilled by helicopter parents. Don’t be one!</p>
<p>Years ago, when I worked at Smith, there was an applicant with an especially annoying mother. She telephoned the admission office constantly. It wasn’t long before there was a lot of eye-rolling going on whenever her name was announced as the caller (and it didn’t help that her last name was the same as that of a goofy TV character of that era … not “Pyle” as in “Gomer Pyle” but along those lines). </p>
<p>But, nonetheless, the daughter was evaluated on her own merits. While the mother was definitely a pain, I don’t think it worked against the student. In fact, maybe the daughter even got a little bit of a sympathy vote. (It wasn’t uncommon for one of the staff members to proclaim something like, “Poor kid,” whenever the mom was yet again on the line.) So on the day that this girl was officially admitted, it was announced at a staff meeting (and I don’t remember that happening for any other applicant ever) and everyone cheered.</p>
<p>But the moral of the story is not, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” It’s more like, “Parents have to go a really long way before they torpedo their child’s admission chances.”</p>
<p>As a college Admissions Counselor I fully agree with the above statements about the student showing independence and taking the college process into their own hands. </p>
<p>The applicants from last year that are most memorable (negatively) are the ones who had pestering parents, also known as “Helicopter” parents. As hard as I tried to forget about the Helicopter parent when reading their son or daughter’s application, it was very tough to forget. </p>
<p>We understand that parents are trying to do the best they can. Parents, please remember that we are doing the best we can as well.</p>
<p>9 times out of 10 I’d rather get a phone call or email from the student.</p>
<p>Take care,
Mallory Wood
Admission Counselor
Saint Michael’s College</p>
<p>Everybody is addressing the ramifications on the student (which is what the OP asked about).</p>
<p>Wendy, step back. Newspaper reporters write about people just like you. You invented the term “helicopter parent”, and it’s not a flattering term.</p>
<p>Your daughter should handle this on her own. I’m guessing there are a lot of *other *things she should handle on her own as well. But most of all, bombarding adcoms with your incessant e-mails speaks way more about you (and your daughter’s eventual maturation) than it does about the mere college admissions process.</p>
<p>Step away from the launching pad.</p>
<p>What about just some of the logistics of scheduling a visit? Assuming the parent is courteous and professional and contact is just kept to logistics questions that cannot be handled on the web, is that ok?</p>
<p>Because my kids can’t use cell phones during the day, and by the time they are able to, the East Coast school offices are closed. Surely they understand that parents sometimes do logistics, no?</p>
<p>I’m still assuming that the kids do the talking on campus and parents are silent unless spoken to and take a backseat.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl - I had the same issue with scheduling and logistics issues, so I made those calls. I don’t think there was any harm in that - in almost every instance I spoke with a clerical person not the admissions rep. Any question that came up that needed an admissions rep to answer, D handled by herself, usually by email.</p>
<p>It is absolutely fine for parents to schedule a visit and often far more practical. When such plans are made by telephone, they are almost always handled on the college end by a receptionist who does not, I assure you, put an “HP” (for Helicopter Parent) on the interview schedule to alert admission officers that the applicant did not make his or her own appointment.</p>
<p>Wait a minute, are we talking about one or two logistical e-mails to set up an interview, or are we talking about the OP’s original premise, in which the OP refers to him/herself as “pestering”?</p>
<p>Somewhere in the middle this thread took an entirely different turn of assumptions.</p>
<p>“What about just some of the logistics of scheduling a visit? Assuming the parent is courteous and professional and contact is just kept to logistics questions that cannot be handled on the web, is that ok?”</p>
<p>Your student will stand out more --and in a good way-- if s/he handles those logistical questions via e-mail, which is possible. It also may be possible for your kid get permission to make a phone call to admissions from their GC’s office during the school day.</p>
<p>I can really understand the inclination to WANT to pester them, however, this is the beginning of the end of all of that behavior for you. You will be free to do many other things with your time. Because, when your D gets to college? You aren’t in the mix. At all. You won’t be calling the school. You won’t really be calling your D all the time, but waiting for her to call you. Now is the time to learn how to back off and let her handle things herself, as much as possible. Next year, she’ll have to handle everything herself, from classes, to professors to getting to the airport to getting to the cafeteria and laundry. You will simply occaisonally answer the phone and say encouraging things like, “I know it’s harder than high school. That’s why they call it kollej, sweetheart. Did you remember to eat? Did you work out this week?” You’ll put down the phone and thnk, hmmmmm. Now what? Best if you already have some what’s you found for yourself this year. Good luck letting go.</p>