<p>It’s real easy to express anger and similar emotions from a distance nonverbally: you just pull out “the finger.” But how can you express the opposite type of feelings? The reason I bring this up is this experience: I was driving to work on a multi-lane urban freeway, and a car in the adjacent lane starts to merge into my lane. In the same space I’m already in. I hit the brakes to avoid a collision and the car slips into the now-vacant spot in front of me. My initial reaction was a flush of anger, but that quickly receded as I realized the other driver wasn’t doing it on purpose - I was just in his “blind spot.” (I’ve done the same thing myself.) So I chilled (and internally got real smug about my newfound traffic zen mastery) and the driver in front of me gave a sort of half-hearted wave. I interpreted that gesture to be a “Sorry, I didn’t see you.” and responded with a similarly restrained half-wave in return (meaning “It’s Okay. I’m not mad.”)</p>
<p>But those “half-waves” were really pretty ambiguous. Wouldn’t it be better if we had an official set of “freeway signs” we could give to say things like “Ooops, my bad” or “Please?” or “It’s okay”? Might cut down on the road rage.</p>
<p>I think that sheepish wave you saw and used is a good choice. The two of you obviously knew what the other meant. I have used it whenever I screw up and cut someone off or pull out in front of someone. A thumbs up or okay sign seems a little too congratulatory. I think the sheepish wave is perfect.</p>
<p>I’ve thought about the same question a time or two when I made a stupid move driving because I didn’t see someone and wanted to tell them “I’m sorry,” but didn’t know how to do it. The sheepish smile or mouthing “Sorry” only works if they are to your side where they can see your face. And, as you said, the wave is ambiguous. I would love to have a better way to say I’m sorry.</p>
<p>The wave is what I do. Actually, when I make the mistake, I put my hand up in the air, palm facing out, with a shrugged shoulder, and a <em>my bad</em> grimace on my face. When someone else messes up (not intentional, and not a biggie, and they realize it), and I am letting it go, I give the little <em>foget it</em> wave. If I get cut off by someone completely oblivious, I honk to get them to wake up.</p>
<p>I do the wave and mouth “sorry” when I do something wrong.</p>
<p>If someone lets me pull out ahead/in front of them, I do the wave and mouth “thank you” with a smile.</p>
<p>If they pull the road-rage bit when I don’t know that I’ve done anything wrong or it was really an accident (like this lady did to me the other day), I just sit there until they pull off.</p>
<p>If someone cuts me off, I give a little honk. If I let someone pull out ahead/in front of me, I just do the wave and smile.</p>
<p>I’ve noticed this is pretty common in SoCal.</p>
<p>I have to admit - getting stuck behind someone who’s driving 10 mph below the limit while talking on a cell phone poses a real challenge to achieve truly evolved traffic zen mastery.</p>
<p>“It’s real easy to express anger and similar emotions from a distance nonverbally: you just pull out “the finger.” But how can you express the opposite type of feelings?”</p>
<p>How 'bout “one-handed Islamo-terrorist fist bump in air”? ;)</p>
<p>My kids call it “the palm” - holding your hand up, palm towards your windshield, no waving. Seems universally understood, at least in the northeast.</p>
<p>I wave when someone lets me over, but I also wave when someone is trying to cut in ( when they are trying to cut in at the last minute & everyone else has been waiting their turn), and they honk at me.</p>
<p>That is really irritating, so I smile and wave at them. ;)</p>