Since I do not have daughters, only DIL’s, I don’t get “into it” with them on this. One has been greatly successful so I can talk to her but the other two, not so much. What is THE word on breastfeeding these days?
My oldest is 40 years old and everyone was totally into the natural childbirth, go live in the woods and breastfeeding is the only answer back in those days. I was extremely lucky and had great success breastfeeding. Two of my DIL’s have not had such a great experience and I will absolutely not get involved so that I don’t come off as being negative. As long as my grandbabies get fed, I’m good with that. But it does make me wonder. Such as…I fed “on demand”. DIL’s lactation consultant has them on a schedule. I don’t question it. What’s the word these days?
Well, my 23yo daughter started breastfeeding as a single mom because it was cheaper. She had a hard time at first but turns out she is really good at it. Her doctor suggested on demand working towards a schedule. Grandson is 3 1/2 mos old and usually eats every 4 hours. One in a while it will be 3 1/2 hours. He has just started sleeping through the night and is growing well. I think there are lots of different ideas and suggestions but this is working for her.
What is natural childbirth?
Re breastfeeding, I think its a very personal choice and the decision is solely the mother’s. You never know what circumstances lie behind a new mother’s decision, for example, my niece, a highly educated lawyer, bottle fed her baby. As such, she (my niece) was the subject of many withering looks, snide comments and much ‘well-meaning’ advice as to how breast is best etc. - the reality is, she had a double mastectomy five years ago, and couldn’t breastfeed; her pregnancy was a selective implant following genetic testing.
Conversely, a friend of mine chose to breastfeed all of her children until they were five or six; I would not make that choice.
As long as the babies and children are healthy, and nobody is being harmed, what difference does it make how the babies are fed?
Sounds like breastfeeding is still just as fraught as it was when my kids were born. I loved nursing but not everyone does. I can still remember a young mom in my mother and baby group saying, “If I hear one more person says the word breast I’m going to scream!”
Agree that this is a highly personal decision to be made by the baby’s parents and supported by friends and family, whatever that decision is. When parents make a choice, THAT’S what should drive the response in the hospital.
Two of my daughters have breastfed. Both received misinformation and poor support in the hospital. One in particular had to struggle for weeks as a result. The lactation consultant told her not to be discouraged that her baby was taking bottles of formula, since the majority of their moms who wanted to nurse were discharged using bottles. But she could hire a lactation consultant once she got home to get back on track.
There was a really nice grand piano in the hospital lobby, though.
My husband has been a pediatric sub-specialist for 35 years. He thinks it’s hard for new parents to get in-hospital support because hospitals aren’t set up to make that a priority today. He also thinks it’s easier for medical staff to guide parents toward formula because they can tick off the box of how much the baby is getting. He firmly believes it’s a CYA thing. And yes, he believes that fed is best, but also that parents who choose breastfeeding should get the information they need in the hospital, not get bounced to a private consultant.
One awesome thing is all the support for pumping these days. I’m amazed by all the terrific gizmos and pumping/storage systems, many if not most invented by women.
My first comment is to try and avoid “measuring” success of either mom or baby with breastfeeding. Whether breastfeeding is tried or continued is based on SO many factors of both mom and baby physically and emotionally. A baby fed and growing and healthy is the “win”.
One thing that is “new” or a hot movement is baby led weaning. This is indirectly related to breastfeeding. The idea with BLW is to “ideally” breast feed exclusively for 6 months or so (every person/baby varies) and then to bypass spoon fed foods in favor of finger fed foods. Very soft small foods. There is some controversy here just as in about all aspects of baby feeding!
I had my first baby in Germany. It was really interesting to me that their suggestions for foods to start with were fruits and vegetables not rice cereal. Since I thought rice cereal looked and smelled disgusting that was the way I went.
I think there are some structural issues in society that are making breastfeeding much more fraught than it needs to be. I’m jealous of all the fancy new pumps!
With my first born I had a wonderful nurse in the hospital who was a real treasure in teaching about breastfeeding and what to expect. Mostly she preached patience and relaxation. That was fortunate because with my second the nurse was full of misinformation and I if I didn’t know better already she would have made me a nervous wreck and I probably would’ve given up.
I really don’t understand how breastfeeding seems to have become a competition or badge of honor. I figured I was bottle fed (my mom said that was the thing then) and I ended up pretty good so whatever works.
Had to go look up baby led weaning. I did that pretty much! Now it has a name and a book. Missed my big chance. Nothing like finger foods so I don’t have to do any work.
Our pediatrician’s office had a lactation specialist on staff. She made rounds on every mom at the hospital to make sure they had all the information and support possible. I really appreciated that the pediatrician had that covered. She was also available after discharge at any time. I struggled a bit and took advantage of the support she offered to parents of their newest patients. There was no extra fee for her services.
^^ I work with dozens of pediatric offices - I don’t think this is the norm (nurses yes, lactation specialist, no) but would be wonderful! I wonder if this is billable.
My mom breastfed all of us back in the 60s and 70s and said she got a LOT of grief for doing so. Many women bottle fed in those days, and my mom said a few women were aghast that she would do something so “barbaric.”
My granddaughter was breastfed and weaned at about a year (this month). The pediatrician told them now (at a year) she can have milk if that is something they drink in the house, but it is not necessary. They also did not do Rice Cereal.
Much has changed – lactation consultants, better pumping equipment, accessing the breast from the neckline rather than under a shirt (what is that about?) and much is still the same – the weird war between bottle and breast and seeing it somehow reflecting your worth, everyone has an opinion about when and how babies should be fed. And medical people not always knowing what they are talking about.
My first grandchild was in the NICU for a few days. She was term and doing fine except for that 20 minutes after birth when she didn’t breathe on her own! The neonatologist kept badgering my daughter about had her milk come in. After about the third time I stepped in (I was trying really hard not to be the bossy grandmother) and just said, “This is a first time mom and it is only 36 hours since birth. Do you really think her milk would have come in yet?” He backed down pretty quickly. While in philosophy they claimed to be breastfeeding supportive, the NICU was not. They never called over to my daughter in post-delivery to come feed like they said they would. More than once she arrived 30 min before the scheduled feeding to discover they had just fed the baby. All that said, the lactation consultant was the best staff person we encountered. She made the new mom feel like this was her baby and she would be able to feed her.
I have seen some women go to such great lengths to breastfeed – pumping and using eye droppers for weeks, pumping into bottles even when mom is home for months. I don’t remember that when I was young.
What’s wrong with rice cereal? It was so much fun to feed the baby. We fed rice cereals, banana somethings, carrots and peas. I had no idea rice cereal was something to stay away. Everyone says my kid is the most beautiful person they ever met both inside and out. I guess no long lasting effect from rice cereal whatever it was.
Evidently, there is some worry that rice cereal may have unacceptable levels of arsenic? But yes, babies around the world eat all kinds of different foods and thrive.
I doubt there is any change in how it actually works, based in this thread, the same stuff abounds. My babies are 20 and the things cited here as new were the old normal back then. If mum wants to BF she has to advocate for herself. even prenatally.
If any baby is in the NICU, the family support people want to be facilitating pumping, stat, not shouting at the dr. Phone the LC, get access to a hospital grade pump, feed mum, be supportive. The neonatoligist is saying the breast milk is the best medicine.
Employ your lactation consultant and get education before you have a baby, it is not intuitive, most parents take more time researching a stroller!.
Sometimes there is quite a bit of work involved in making it work, BTDT.
No one shouted at the doctor. I simply gave him medical information about women’s bodies that evidently he did not know. It is normal for milk to come in between 2-5 days after birth with pumping or nursing. For first births, it is at the later end of that range. Of course, my daughter was pumping immediately.
I was surprised at how little prenatal information about childbirth and nursing was available through a large HMO that considers itself very “baby-friendly” and preventative care oriented.
@my3girls – Yep, it’s that nugget of wisdom that the milk will appear so just keep at it and calm down. My first nurse was “oh, honey, don’t worry that’s just the way it works!” And it did naturally. With my second my nurse was upset that my milk hadn’t come in–doesn’t make you very comfortable when the OB department doesn’t know how things work. But then again she was young and probably didn’t have kids.
As for baby info I lived by Penelope Leach and Brazelton.
My mom had Spock (who she said was so far off on some things that she was horrified that she didn’t use her own common sense.)
Who’s the new guru? Is there one?