I advise getting more practice. I didn’t get my license until I was 25 and even then didn’t drive a lot until my early 30s.I I’m much more comfortable in the car now that I have to drive myself 20 miles to work, do all errands on my own, and drive out of town on occasion. I still don’t like winter driving but I can endure it.
Also, outward visibility from cars is mostly worse than it was decades ago. So fitting a car into a parking space without the aid of cameras is more difficult now.
It seems illogical to think an inexperienced driver is going to get better at driving by not being allowed to drive. I’m going to assume he wasn’t doing anything truly stupid like driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol or texting, when these accidents happened. Accidents for 18-year-old males are common. The insurance premiums reflect this.
D has scraped her car a couple times on walls and columns when parking or pulling out. It boggled my mind at first since she’s driving a tiny Mini Cooper (and I never whacked anything when learning myself). It’s good to hear on this thread that it’s pretty common. She requested a backup camera in her next car which I think is a terrific idea; they’re also mandatory on all new cars in the US starting summer 2018.
Anyway, I agree with everybody else that you learn by doing, that’s the only way to improve.
There is no ‘normal’ number of fender benders for a new driver. Most new drivers don’t have ANY fender benders. Having had five Ds and now, also 5 SILs, none of them have had any crashes/fender benders. Your son should be practicing more frequently with an experienced driver in the car with him.
I also second the recommendation for turning off the radio and asking passengers to be quiet when backing up.
Parking spaces are smaller at a lot of venues now, too. My D2 didn’t become a very good driver until she had her own car in grad school and started driving herself regularly to the grocery and various places around town. It was good she is in a town of about 100,000 – getting some good experience without being in a big city to start with. D1 still isn’t a great driver – 28 and lives in a city with great public transit. Her fiancé has a car and drives a lot, but she is rarely behind the wheel. I’ve been telling her she should get more practice – once they have kids, if she has to pick up and drop them off at daycare, school, etc, she doesn’t want to be having those initial jitters/possible accidents with kiddos in the car.
I wouldn’t even consider these “fender benders”. They are minor scrapes and bumps.
Practice is the only answer here - not pulling away driving privileges.
“Also, outward visibility from cars is mostly worse than it was decades ago. So fitting a car into a parking space without the aid of cameras is more difficult now.”
^This is so true. I think some of the tools like cameras reduce accidents but at the same time make for lazier, less competent drivers. Shopping for a new vehicle this past year,I was amazed at the poor driver visibility many vehicles have with their raked profiles.
Why does this inexperienced driver even have a car in college?
Our kids were driving cars we owned when they were in college…and high school. If they had a fender bender of any kind, THEY paid for the repairs. Or the insurance deductible.
Getting into little fender benders is NOT part of the learning to drive ritual.
This kid needs more practice…but I would suggest NOT having a car in college…unless there is some really compelling reason for this.
He has been fortunate that his little accidents haven’t involved a person getting hurt.
A scratch on a car from scraping it against a post that is specifically designed to take hits from cars to protect something from being hit by a car is not really a “fender bender.” Maybe the kid needs a scratched up clunker with broken radio to practice parking skills. That’s what most beginner drivers would get - a car that no one is going to cry about if it gets an extra scratch.
Takings a car away until the kid learns to drive is akin that joke about HS diving coach telling the team, “When you guys finally learn to dive perfectly, we will fill the swimming pool with water.”
I have been in a few scrapes. I drive constantly so things happen. I’ve never been at fault in an accident and I’ve never gotten a ticket. I’ve never been in a car with cameras so I don’t think it’s laziness on my part…
That said, they were my cars that I paid for and I really don’t care at all about a few scrapes on my car that are just superficial.
Taking away the car, IMO, isn’t the answer. How is he going to learn without practice?
I think your husband should just take him out for specific skill-related practice. How else will he get better? Practice, practice, practice. Empty parking lots, empty highways and 2-lanes. Spatial awareness is acquired only through practice. There are few other skills that translate to driving, so you just have to practice. Driving is scary, and a scared driver is a poor driver.
My less-able driver moved to a major metropolitan area and has not had a single accident. Before he moved, he and DH practiced merging, lane changes, etc. but I confess we worried.
My born-to-it driver has only had one accident – tire blew when the car slid on an icy street and hit the curb, disabling the car. He was also rear-ended by an elderly driver , no injuries, thank God.
What you are describing are not fender benders, they are inexperience. You can’t fix it by any means other than getting him more.
Having fender benders (and unfortunately more severe accidents) is indeed common for young drivers. Statistics have always proved that. It’s just common sense - experience makes one more competent at just about anything.
Adding to the inexperience factor is the increasing number of people on the road these days compared to when most of us parents were learning to drive (the population has increased by 130,000,000 since I was 16). Driving is much more complex now because of that and distractions like cell phones. Also I think that drivers are much more aggressive than when I was learning.
The only thing I’d advise along with more practice is to have a serious discussion with him on driving distractions like cell phones and car radios. That’s the thing I worry about most with my kids.
“Why does this inexperienced driver even have a car in college?”
He doesn’t. In the initial post:
“He claims that since he is not driving at all in college ( we did not allow him to bring a car ), his driving skill are rusty.”
Doesn’t matter to me whether it’s common or not. Matters to me if he’s a safe, alert, conscientious driver. What happens if the next ‘pillar’ is a person?
Best decision was sending D2 to a driver’s ed program thst emphasized having your wits about you at all times and was frank about the perils of not. (D1 waited til she was older.)
Adding, these recent threads that accidents among new drivers are usual or ordinary scares me for myself and family. Please see that he’s a good driver.
The principles of parallel parking are identical to they were in the dark ages of drivers training… If there is course near you that is closed at night or certain times go there and practice. If not, just do the verbal drill on your son until he learns if he didn’t have formal classroom drivers training.
Pull up next to the car or space ahead of where you want to park and put your blinkers on. Make sure the space you are parking in is longer than your car. Back up until about a third or half your car is hanging over the space. Crank the wheel toward the empty space until your car is about about 45 degrees as you back in. Straighten up the steering wheel by turning the opposite way until you are parallel to the curb and adjust your car forward or backward until you are evening spaced and close enough to the curb.
For learning lane changes, go pay leap frog with your son. For merging, just get the car up to speed on the ramp with the blinker going, look for a gap as you are on the ramp and adjust speed up or down to merge depending on traffic.
For backing up turn your head all the way to the right and use your rear window AND side mirror to back sure there is nothing in the way. Turn the steering wheel the direction you want the car to go.
Nobody here is claiming, “it’s normal, don’t worry about it”. What I have seen is the hypothesis that, based on both statistics and experience, teens and new drivers do have a higher tendency to MINOR bumps and scratches while they gain much needed experience and that more experience, including proper training, is what is warranted. Nobody is excusing it or making light of it.
Honestly, i think a few lessons with a good instructor would be worth the cost. Gets rid of the “family dynamics” and also a lot of people take shortcuts that we pass along to our kids instead of textbook, proper driving skills. Given the improper driving techniques I’ve seen on the road, I sure hope those people aren’t teaching their own teens.
Let us hope not.
Well, the vast majority of people who get into minor fender benders do not stop driving. Heck, my husband and I have both caused minor car damage In the past. We still drive.
I don’t think that banning driving is the correct approach to this situation. If the parents never let him drive, he’s probably just going to start driving once he’s self-supporting and he won’t be any better at it.
Find ways for him to practice. Let him drive when you all go somewhere as a family. Maybe a class is a good idea. Certainly worrth looking into.
Lots of kids don’t get their licenses at 16. Our youngest got his at 25 - he had access to good public transportation and there just never seemed to be a convenient time for some extended practice. He got his own car within weeks of getting his license and then promptly drove it from NY to Virginia. As far as I know he hasn’t gotten in a fender bender yet. I got my license at 22 for similar reasons. I backed into a mailbox that I could not see out of the tiny back window sometime that first year.
I agree with others, he needs more practice preferably with an experienced driver in the car.