What is "Privilege"?

Parent Cafe
141

“To quote Pizzagirl (though I suspect she was using it in another context), “it is about the smarminess”. Mitt Romney was talking about how he struggled, how he understood the struggles of ordinary americans or those struggling to make it, and used the example of the basement apartment and so forth as an example of how he could empathize. He is making it seem like his struggles starting out were the same thing as a poor family or a working class family trying to make it…and it is like comparing apples and oranges.”

Really, Mitt Romney, about the smarminess? I think it’s merely about people trying to show that they have had struggles also, to show that they are relatable. Is there a single candidate that hasn’t done that? Ever? Oh, maybe the Donald, with his, “I’m rich, I’m really rich,” speech. But apparently it’s only offensive when conservatives do it. If you have decided that you don’t like someone, than anything they say is fair game to be used against them.

“The point isn’t that Romney once struggled, the point is that they are successful, the point simply is when you recognize the gifts you have been given, as I was, you also need to have empathy for those who didn’t , when you understand not everyone has the things that were given you, you try and find ways to help others”

You really think that Romney doesn’t have empathy? Doesn’t help others? It’s all a matter of perspective. I think he is a very good man, who has done far more in his life to help others than most people ever will.

142

Thread like this starts to sound like yet another thinly veiled political thread. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan, both republicans, thank goodness they are not running for president.
It seems like one of the operatives from the Democrats camp strikes again.

143

Whatever one may think of Paul Ryan’s politics, and I’m not a fan, according to Wikipedia at the age of 16 he found his father dead in bed, and he cares for his grandmother with Alzheimer’s while his mother went back to college. That doesn’t sound awfully privileged to me.

Again leaving politics off the table, is there any doubt that Mitt Romney isn’t a thoughtful, hardworking intelligent man? I despise how hard work is waved away. He may not have had the economic fear that a poorer person might have. But that doesn’t take away from his work ethic. What you’re talking about are the politics of resentment - that Romney’s successes aren’t really his, and he should be resented for the accident of birth that made him white and well to do.

Is all privilege unearned? Sure, you don’t earn the color of your skin, physical disabilities, etc. but I gotta tell you, I work darn hard to maintain the privilege I do have, and to pass that onto my kids in the form of their education and as stable of an upbringing as I possibly could have, and I will continue to pass those things on to them and I will refuse to be made to feel guilty over it, or for being white, or well to do, or anything else.

144

“The point isn’t that Romney once struggled, the point is that they are successful, the point simply is when you recognize the gifts you have been given, as I was, you also need to have empathy for those who didn’t , when you understand not everyone has the things that were given you, you try and find ways to help others”"

Maybe. Or maybe you don’t. I’ll tell you, my first priority is ensuring my kids are set for life, with a fine education, the skills to do well in the work world, things to help them get started (eg a car). We didn’t touch their 529 plans. Maybe we will repurpose them towards eventual grandchildren. Or help our kids buy a house down the line. Who knows. My priority isn’t to go find underprivileged people and help them. I pay more than enough in taxes and donate to enough charities. But I don’t need to be battered over the head with my privilege.

145

Plus what makes you think Mitt Romney doesn’t have empathy for those who didn’t. Just because you envy their wealth, and they are wealthy do not mean they aren’t. Crappy writing. Generalizing.

146

@pizzagirl:
I never said he didn’t work hard, I was careful to say he did, he built his business and did well. You are pulling the oldest trick in the book, using the slogans “this is the politics of resentment” or the old “that is class warfare”, and it is not what I was saying. What I was saying was that Romney cannot compare his starting position to that of someone who was struggling without a safety net and that his starting point favored him having success, but it was just that, favoring him, after that there is no doubt hard work and intelligence made his fortune, and I don’t begrudge him or anyone else. On the other hand on campaign trail Romney in his “47%” speech made it sound like his hard work went to pay for a bunch of freeloaders, which tells me he didn’t even care enough to do some research on who those 47% are and what they face. It isn’t that we shouldn’t celebrate Romney’s success or denigrate it as all an accident of birth, but rather that we don’t use Romney’s example as an excuse to denigrate those who struggle, those who aren’t able to make it, that’s all.

Recognizing privilege means recognizing the gifts you were given, and it is perfectly fine to use them to achieve, but it also behooves everyone to remember that without those gifts, those privileges, it can be a much harder road. Put it this way, someone who truly came from nothing and achieved is a lot more of an achievement then someone who was given a lot, and all I ask is that people not make the comparisons I have heard, how “well, I made it, why can’t the “X” folk make it, if I can do it, well, so can they”. My dad used to get furious when people said stuff like that, he grew up during the depression, he grew up poor (wasn’t a lot of jobs for stonemasons in the 1930’s), and when he heard the mythmaking about the depression and how it built character and such he came as close as I ever saw him to decking someone. He made the point that he made it, in part, because as poor as he was, NYC had literally the best public schools in the world, and that when he got seriously sick, there were city hospitals that saved his life…and he also said that he knew a lot of guys who ended up not doing very well, that they ended up dropping out of school to help support their families, and ended up not doing well and were poor most of their lives, because they didn’t get the breaks he did.

Basically, with privilege, it means looking at what you have been given and looking at others not so fortunate, and instead of denigrating them for being poor or struggling, you say “there but the Grace of God go I”, and maybe, just maybe, find ways to help others achieve who weren’t fortunate to have your particular gifts. It doesn’t mean you didn’t work for what you have, the way I work for what I have, I had no lasting legacy from my dad, other than what he taught me, what I have I earned, through a lot of hard work, but I also have gifts, privileges, that helped me do it that I didn’t earn originally. And I am giving my son his own gifts with my hard work, because I have the ability to do so, he has the freedom to pursue his passion, wherever it takes him; in music, though, if you don’t have certain privileges, like a family with a strong income, no matter how passionate, no matter how hard the kid works, they very likely will never achieve their dreams…

147

I had suspicion this thread is going to turn out this way. I think the thread should be closed. It’s a chance to bash Republicans.

148

The minority of you who are turning it into a political thread should find your way out.

There’s a study saying wealth and power doesn’t corrupt a person, it makes them more generous. I agree with it because people who were born privileged monetarily have had everything they need, so it’s normal human instinct to then help others out in terms of research, education funding, etc.

149

Because don’t you know that only people who AGREE w you have empathy? <>

150

Hanging on to one stupid thing someone says(ie the 47% comment), even after they have acknowledged the stupidity of their comment, seems a disingenuous way to prove they have no empathy. Everyone says something they regret now and then, but if you already loathe someone, you hang on to that and never let it go,. That is being controlled by your biases.

151

While true, non-white people are over-represented in military service (and more heavily represented in the enlisted ranks, as opposed to the officer ranks).

In 2013, the comparison of US military versus US overall demographics (not including Latino or Hispanic ethnicity) was:



                US military     US overall
White           69.3%           77.7%
Black           17.0%           13.2%
Asian            3.8%            5.3%
Multiracial      3.1%            2.4%
Native American  1.4%            1.2%
Pacific Islander 1.0%            0.2%
Other            4.3%            0.0%

http://download.militaryonesource.mil/12038/MOS/Reports/2013-Demographics-Report.pdf (tables 2.19 through 2.30)
http://quickfacts.census.gov/qfd/states/00000.html

152

Re: http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/white-educated-and-wealthy-congratulations-you-live-in-a-bubble/

The first question is “Have you ever lived for at least a year in an American neighborhood in which the majority of your fifty nearest neighbors did not have college degrees?”.

College graduates who attended residential colleges would say yes, since the frosh dorm is full of neighbors who do not (yet) have college degrees. They probably mean to add college related exceptions, like with some of the other questions.

153

I believe that musicprnt illustrates why some people have an issue with discussion about determining whether one is sufficiently privileged or not.

Even if you have had difficulties, tragedies, you are worthy of scorn if you are a heterosexual white male who wasn’t really poor. How dare you even bring it up, as if it compared to anyone else’s life?

In fact, even if you talk about your wife’s struggles with MS, well----YOU didn’t have to worry about health insurance, so don’t be expecting sympathy or understanding from anyone else. You are of the favored class, and don’t have the right to talk about any of YOUR challenges.

154

Well, got a 22 on how thick my bubble is, so it sounds thicker than some of the other posters. This doesn’t surprise me because I grew up in an intact family and mostly had summer jobs and jobs that did NOT involve physical labor and didn’t watch the movies or TV shows, as they don’t appeal to me. I have known I am privileged and try to pay it forward with my nonprofit work.

No matter how privileged we are, being diagnosed with chronic physical or mental conditions is tough and affects you and family’s lives. Of course it is much better to have the resources to get quality and regular treatment, but it can remain one more burden.

155

It’s been years since I’ve gotten a catcall, but at my age they’d be better characterized as ‘cougar’ calls.

156

“College graduates who attended residential colleges would say yes, since the frosh dorm is full of neighbors who do not (yet) have college degrees. They probably mean to add college related exceptions, like with some of the other questions.”

Sheldon Cooper would be literal to the point of tears and answer it like that. But I think most normal college students would get that it was referring to their home neighborhoods.

Actually I really don’t know if my fifty nearest neighbors have college degrees. Many of them are in professions that may not have required one. Successful realtors (people and sales skills), restaurant owners. Small business owners. The guy across the street from me worked at Sears selling appliances. Maybe his wife had family money so they could afford to live here; who knows.

157

how about Joe Biden? There is zero amount of “white male cis privilege” that can make up for the tragedy of losing his young wife and young daughter. And now his son. Whatever one’s politics, you have to agree that it’s heartbreaking. But you know, I’ve been called cute at the construction site and I have to wear high heels and there are bimbos on TV and dumb blonde jokes making me as a woman feel inferior, so my life is clearly worse. /sarcasm

158

“Paul Ryan is an even more egregious example, when he cited working at a McDonald’s as a teenager as proof that working in a ‘dead end job isn’t’, it was smarmy, it was obnoxious, and it was directly aimed at the people who work in such places, often because it is all they can get, and saying “well, I started there, and look where it ended”. He was born with a platinum spoon in his mouth, had the best of everything, and he dares to claim that working at a McDonald’s makes him qualified to judge those struggling?”

Not only are you completely wrong about “platinum spoon”, but if you knew anything about corporate McD you’d know that a lot of their senior ranks are indeed populated by people who started out in the stores. It IS a decent way to get ahead if you are bright and hardworking.

Btw I think it’s snobbish to act as though jobs which require physical labor are somehow inferior. There’s no shame in any honest job.

159

Why let facts get in the way of republican bashing?

As for Mitt Romney, I think he is the first person to acknowledge his blessings and he and his entire family give back more than the vast majority of people, including and especially other politicians. To quote the great Casey Stengel, you could look it up.

160

“It seems like one of the operatives from the Democrats camp strikes again.” (Post #141)

“Why let the facts get in the way of Republican bashing?” (Post #158)

Born into privilege: Nancy Pelosi (dad was mayor of Baltimore); Hillary Clinton (father owned a successful business; went to Wellesley); John Kerry (father a diplomat; went to boarding school); Andrew Cuomo (father was governor of NY); Eliot Spitzer (parents were immigrants but became wealthy through real estate; went to Princeton); Jerry Brown (father was governor of California); Ted Cruz (parents were college graduates who owned a business); and any Kennedy, Bush or Romney.

Not born into privilege: John Boehner (family owned a bar; 13 people lived in a 2-br house; 1st in family to attend college–Xavier); Ronald Reagan (family was poor, from rural Illinois); Elizabeth Warren (father lost janitorial job due to illness); Paul LePage (impoverished household in Lewiston, ME; abusive father); Bill Clinton; Barack Obama

Can we at least set aside any implication that the Republicans have a lock on privilege, or that the Democrats don’t? Regardless of how they may now vote, some politicians in both parties faced significant adversity while growing up, and some were born into families of substantial privilege.