Sophomore in high school, class of 2027.
I currently attend a small but reasonably well ranked/good public high school, that offers some APs and the IB program. I am EXTREMELY nervous about getting into a good college, and how I may compare to other applicants of similar intelligence levels who have achieved more due to better opportunities or being pushed harder by their parents.
In math and science (my areas of interest) so far I have taken Living Environment, Chemistry, Algebra 1 & 2, Geometry (correspondence), and Precalculus. I also took AP Computer Science A last year and received a 5. Grades were A+ except for Algebra and Geometry (A and A-) due to personal issues and difficulties with the correspondence course. My school does not report GPAs out of 4.0, but every unweighted grade I got last year was >=97%.
I am currently taking AP Calculus BC, AP Language and Composition, AP World History, Physics H, and Italian III H, as well as electives (drawing and painting, film photography, electricity, and research). I’m doing well in all of them so far, and I think I’ll end the year with maybe an A and the rest A+. (a little hubristic, but on trend)
In terms of extracurriculars, I am in both the Science Bowl and History Bowl clubs, all though I don’t know if I’ll make either team. (I made Science Bowl last year) I am part of the Italian Honor Society and club, and a volunteer group at the local church. I am currently trying to self-teach Linear Algebra.
I doubt I’ll accomplish anything research wise in school due to the structure of the program, and that’s something I’m very worried about. How important is truly novel research to applications?
In terms of summer programs, I took a computing course run by Johns Hopkins CTY before 9th grade, and a STEM Prep program at Brookhaven National Lab this summer. Despite being run at a national lab, that program didn’t seem very selective, and I don’t think I learned much. However, attendance does mean automatic acceptance into their more prestigious High School Research program after 11th. (I’m nervous about being prepared for that - I don’t have a mentor there or anything, and I don’t have any research ideas)
I struggle with the fact that I am competing with people who started nonprofits in middle school and worked with professors at Columbis over the summer (real friend of a friend). I don’t know what to do to get on that level at this point. Is there anything I can do besides the IB program and trying at research? I struggle with mental health issues, and having too few hours in the day, it feels like all of these things I’m expected to do have chipped away at time to read and draw enough already.
My dad went to Harvard, and every time I hear him talk about it I just feel upset at how different it seems like the standards are nowadays. My parents haven’t been training me since birth, and I’m autistic but not a savant, so it seems like I have no chance to learn the things I want to learn. I don’t even care about jobs that much, I just can’t stand the idea of a life where I don’t get a world-class education in theoretical physics, even if I’m too dumb to do anything with it.
Sorry if this is long or annoying or undirected.