<p>My parents started accounts for all their grandchildren when the grandchildren were born. They’re UTMAs, I think. We didn’t have to go to the account for our older daughter in her first two years of school, and I wanted to avoid doing so (that ole parental pride, we can pay what financial aid doesn’t, thing). But fate intervened, in the form of long-term unemployment for my spouse. Now younger daughter is starting college. Finances do require going to the accounts from the grandparents. Older daughter’s college has a lower COA but higher family contribution. Younger daughter’s college has a higher COA but lower family contribution, partly because of what the school is willing to kick in and partly because younger daughter has gotten some scholarships that will, I think, reduce her loans. Each college is a good fit for the child, and each child has contributed to the best of her ability to achieve in school and make herself eligible for some merit awards. Does it seem fair to all concerned to have each child contribute the same amount from her account, despite the fact that our family probably will be contributing unequal amounts overall for each over the course of four years? Thank you for your thoughts.</p>
<p>Were these accounts reported when you filled out the FAFSA? - they are student assets if they are UTMA’s. Money used from these accounts may count as student income when you fill out FAFSA next time.</p>
<p>Yes. we did. So, next year will any amount used be counted as income but not as an asset?</p>
<p>We never went through much of a though process on what was fair in terms of spending per child. We are socialist/communist in how we raise our family with a dictatorship at the helm. Pretty much, to each according to need, from each according to ability. A lot of this out of necessity as one of ours was hit with cancer as a child, and we basically dropped everything to tend to him. We would have sold it all to save him or even giving him the tiniest bit more of a chance, or longer life. In an instant. So any equity issues were gone. </p>
<p>All of ours are so different that it would have been crazy trying to divvy things out equally. Some of our kids simply needed less, had fewer wants and needs, fewer activities. We wanted our kids to have the absolute best education from day one, and we spent our money and lived our lives accordingly. So it was a natural progression for us to encourage our oldest to pick the school he wanted the most regardless of price. We did the same to our next one, who was shrewd enough to know that we were hurting financially due a number of hits we took at that time. He picked a state school and got a scholarship that really provided us with financial relief. He also worked for extra money he wanted and found cheap off campus digs. Had we taken the hit of two kids at top priced colleges, we would have really been in trouble. </p>
<p>With the third one, we had done a painful, very painful, reality check on what we could afford and were making a lot of lifestyle changes. We had to tell him what we could afford to pay for his college. He didn’t break stride. He applied and received a Naval ROTC scholarship, applied to Webb Institute (free tuition), Deep Springs (Free), and Suny Maritime (almost free) along with 4 state schools and looked for heavy merit money. When accepted to his schools, anything unaffordable went off the table immediately and though he picked the priciest option left, he has paid for every cent over what we said we could afford. He would have borrowed if he had to do so, but he has been able to find jobs to pay his expenses. </p>
<p>But my kids have all worked. They would work double, triple jobs in the summer, do odd jobs during the school year, work, work, work. So they had money. We also had them save at least half of any birthday, congratulatory money they got, and most of them saved far more than that. We also put money away for college purposes, not enough by far, but some. </p>
<p>So there is no internal equity in this house for our kids. And it’s never been an issue. We do the best we can at the time for each one.</p>
<p>As for what is fair on what they can contribute, what can they contribute? Many kids I know from well to do households don’t have a dime of savings. None. They have the APPLE 2 pad, they have the iphone, they have the state of the art everything and drive better cars than I do (not hard to do–I have a junker). But they don’t have a frigging savings account. They have credit cards, they have everything else. But no money for college. </p>
<p>For a situation like that, forward moving is all you can do. Kid should find job now. Right now. They’ve lived the life of Riley for years, now they gotta work. Find a job at a nursing home, clean garbage cans for a restaurant, let everyone know they are out there to work. Pick up dog poop, baby sit, teach kids to swim, ride a bike. Do tutoring, Do eldercare. My kids never had trouble finding jobs. Even in a depressed WV town where one of mine visited friends, where absolutely no jobs were to be had, he was working in 2 days and was getting job offers long past the time he left… That shut my friend up who lived there with an unemployed husband and 6 kids who told me there was absolutely, positively no money there and national stats bore her out. </p>
<p>Any kid going to college with family financial issues should be working several jobs this summer and be selling off possessions and getting cheap stuff to replace it. You need the money, then start looking at EVERY way to get it. These kids are likely going to be moving from upper middle class lives to poverty level in the next few years, unless parents are going to keep subsidizing them, so they had better start getting used to living that way.</p>
<p>When my third moved into an apartment last year, we loaded the car with my spare junk for supplies and I showed him where the second hand shops in the area were. That’s where to look for pans, dishes, clothes. He was shocked to find that a nice mountain jacket with a hood, swim trunks, and some t shirts ran him a big $10 on half price day. Forget Walmart–can’t afford it. My dear friend was aghast and took it upon herself to take him and roommates to the Walmart to supply their kitchen–and he was shocked at what she spent. He now has nicer everyday dishes than I do–I use leftover pieces from years and yard sale, Salv Army stuff; he has a matched set. But he has been working at the school, stashing his money and already has some job prospects for the summer and is trying to decide prestige and possible future opportunities vs pure cash. The summer pool job means private lesson opportunities that add up to a lot of $s and living at home means no living expenses. </p>
<p>When a kid picks a college that mom and dad can’t afford, s/he has to work during the school year, vacations and summers and borrow through the Staffords. Also sacrifice life style, amenities, material goods, opportunities that richer classmates have. The end of the line of subsidizing the child is coming and better to do it with the buffer of college than in real life. Both of my kids who are now out on their own are really having a tough time even with the gradual weaning from the family asset breast.</p>