What is the worst advice you see on College Confidential?

Parent Cafe
21

On the academic boards, the idea that if you don’t go to an elite college you won’t be able to achieve, or the obverse, that getting into an elite college means you will do well. Obviously, a lot of parents on here will say that is BS, but there are still those on here who push the elite school=success line, to the level that kids should scrape up every dime they can to go.

That elite school admissions is not a numbers game, that the schools in their admissions are holistic, when they aren’t, unless you have really special circumstances, if you don’t have the hyper stats, you aren’t going to get in 99.9% of the time (there are always exceptions, but that doesn’t mean the process is holistic). Conversely, that numbers alone will get you in, things like where you come from, who you are competing against, your background, can work against or for you in these things.

The music major board is full of these, here are some of my favorites

-Kid starts an instrument in high school, and people are telling them of course they can get into a good music school, college is the ‘time to get serious’ and so forth. That simply isn’t true, and if the kids goal is to get into a top level music school, it isn’t going to work

-"I know someone who started playing an instrument in high school, someone who went to a community college music program, never went to a music school, etc and got into a top orchestra, created a big music career…and when you ask, either it is hearsay, or you find out it was 30 years ago. Music has changed so much during the time, the level of competition is such, that that isn’t going to happen, not even if the person has ‘natural talent’. BTW I am talking the level these people are talking about, getting into a top level professional orchestra, or getting the kind of gig work and such that they can make a decent living, not talking getting into semi pro orchestras, playing weddings, teaching at local music schools, etc.

-That if someone isn’t high level enough to get into a top auditioned program, they can ‘work it out over time’ and ‘catch up’. Outside some rare examples, not going to happen, because the kids they are competing against will be getting better, too, over that time, and most music students in performance these days go beyond the BM/BA level.

That doesn’t mean a kid has to go to a Juilliard or Curtis or Rice or CIM et al, it means that they likely have to be at that level, or maybe a bit below it, to go forward in music. A talented kid studying with a good teacher can do well at schools not reputedly at that level, but they need to be in that class of talent going into music school.

-The parallel to the HYP or death idea, that only going to Juilliard or Curtis and the like will get you into being a serious professional musician (this is big among kids from Asia especially). That isnt’ true, while a program like Curtis, that is probably the top of the pyramid, or Juilliard , etc definitely are great schools, offer great advantages, the school alone doesn’t do jack for the kid, the name alone won’t do much for them, it isn’t like coming out of college, interviewing, and having someone impressed by a HYP degree, doesn’t work like that.

-Parents who think that impressive academics will get a kid into a top level music program even if they aren’t that strong musically (I have only seen a relatively few on here who say that, but over the years have seen it here, more in the broad world). Impressive academics can help with the admission if the music school is in a university for the college side of things, and can get them academic merit aid in such a program, but at a pure music school or at one in a university, it won’t get them in if they are marginal, the audition is everything with music (in some cases, if there is a tie between candidates, the academics could act as a tiebreaker but having talked to admissions people at the top music schools and asking that question, none had ever seen that).

22

While that’s true, overly general advise is not useful; It depends, it’s up to you, there’s no one answer. Of course, it sepends and it is up to me, and no one is asking any absolute solution.

23

“If you apply to every Ivy, you increase your chances of getting into one.”

Assuming you have a package of stats,essays, recs, ECs, and achievements that make you competitive for the Ivy League in the first place, then applying to more Ivies WILL increase your chances of getting into at least one of them. You are in effect taking “more shots on goal.”

24

Lack of relative meaning with regards to someone saying school A is “better” than school B.

  1. Did you personally attend both schools, simultaneously, to formulate that opinion? Or did you hear kid A say his college was hard, while kid B said his was easy? (in most cases it’s the latter)

and 2) Even if school A were somehow “better” than school B, what does that even mean in real-world context? Does that mean school B will not allow you to get a job in your field? To what extent is it “better”, and does it even matter in the grand scheme of things? If students from school A are, on average, 4% smarter than students from school B, but school B is the better all-around fit, has a good reputation, and is less expensive, which school is really better?

All of this, again, boils down to the one-size-fits-all mentality.

25

Or worse yet school A is “higher ranked” in USNews overall.

26

A parent suggesting “why even bother” with trying hard in school if there are naturally smarter kids out there.

27

Another mistake: not paying careful attention to the distinction between full tuition and full ride scholarships. A student who must completely self-fund his/her college costs probably needs more than full tuition, since non-tuition costs are usually more than what a student can realistically be expected to contribute through federal direct loans and part time work earnings.

28

I think this is bad advice when directed to a person who doesn’t really have the qualifications to get into any of them.

The flip side bad advice, when directed to a person who has the qualifications and is interested in highly selective colleges is “You only need two reaches, two matches, and two safeties.”

29

How about mistakes when recommending safeties, or listing recommended schools as safeties:

  • Recommending "safeties" without consideration of the student's cost constraints, or where a competitive large merit scholarship with unknown criteria is needed for affordability.
  • Recommending "safeties" that use "level of applicant's interest" without specifying the need to show interest.
  • Recommending "safeties" that are not really safeties for the student's intended major.
30

People suggesting students (and their parents) take on huge amounts of debt to get a Bachelor’s degree - in ANYTHING. It doesn’t matter what the major is, imo …
Most entry-level jobs, even in lucrative fields, will not pay that much starting out. Some of them may, but require time spent in unpaid or low-paying internships, etc. Students with huge debt cannot afford to take opportunities like that.

And we cannot predict the job offers anyone will get four years from now…

It’s too easy to tell people to spend money when it’s not your own.

eta: Most of the regulars on CC, I agree, do NOT give the above bad advice, but the opposite. But I see that advice given regularly, by some students and parents…

31

Unrelated to college, but on CC…

The clothing threads. The “what to wear to an event or with this clothing item” threads. Not necessarily “worst” advice, but sometimes my mouth drops open at the items suggested! Call me weird, but it’s totally entertaining to me to click all those linked clothing pages to see what people suggest! (realizing “different strokes” and all, but some of it floors me!!! - so different than my taste or world!)

32

You’ll never get a job with a liberal arts degree.
You’ll make more money if you major in a STEM field or business.

33

Well, there is also the notion that STEM majors all have similar characteristics with respect to job and career prospects. Unfortunately, that notion seems to be quite widespread.

Of course, there is also the notion that “liberal arts” includes only humanities and social studies (math and science are also liberal arts). Even some universities use “liberal arts” this way (e.g. by having a division of liberal arts that does not include math and science).

34

The worst advice I’ve seen on CC, fortunately only a few times but still…

When a student writes in describing what is most likely depression and other kids on the thread tell them it is really normal and to ignore the adults on the thread who are suggesting they speak to a counselor or parent. This has been posted on the most annoying posts thread as well, but it is more than annoying, it is potential harmful and drives me crazy. It’s fine for kids to give their opinions and/or advice, but when they insist they are right and the adults don’t know what they’re talking about, just plain wrong…

35

“You’ll never get a job if you major in ____________.”

36

The notion that whatever you choose as your undergraduate major is the field you will work in for the rest of your life.

37

I think much, if not most, of the advice from parents here is pretty sound, but you do get the occasional one-off bit of nonsense like the one I posted above.

However, I confess to being more dismayed by some of the questions posted on this site than by the answers.

For example, questions from parents whose children are in middle school wanting to know what the best path to an Ivy is. How about dialing back the pressure?

Or laments from students who seriously wonder if they need to retake the SAT/ACT even though their scores are in the 99th percentile. Ditto for the students who fear being rescinded because their second semester calculus grade dropped to a B. And the students who think they have to load up their junior and senior year with grueling classes they dislike, while ignoring the art or athletics they’d rather be doing, just so Harvard will look twice at them.

Or questions from students whose parents insist they major in something they hate just because they think it will be more lucrative.

Or posts by students who’ve been accepted by schools their parents can afford, but no longer wish to pay for, in spite of previous assurances that they’d pay for any school the student wanted to attend.

I’m glad these people come for advice, but very sorry for their circumstances and sometimes, for their mindset.