What is vain?

Parent Cafe
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<p>Exactly. And I would add there is often an underlying sense of desperation as age creeps up on us. Sure we want to look good for our age and for most people, that means exercise, a good diet, a beauty regimen that includes some good quality skin products and an occasional procedure. For the vain, it starts to become an obsession - botox, fillers, face-lifts, tummy tucks, laser treatments, implants of all kinds, etc. I’m not talking about the woman who was always flat-chested and decided to treat herself to breast implants. Or the one that goes in for a laser treatment every few years. Or the one who has a little botox a few times a year to address a prominent wrinkle between the eye. </p>

<p>I’m talking about the ones who are actively pursuing any and all procedures in an effort to look young for their age. I actually feel sorry for these women because it’s painfully obvious that they are very, very insecure and are using their looks as a way to booster their self-esteem.</p>

<p>What’s I find disturbing is how young some of these women are starting with the obsessiveness. I’ve been hearing of teens getting botox!</p>

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<p>I actually feel sorry for these women because it’s painfully obvious that they are very, very insecure and are using their looks as a way to booster their self-esteem.</p>

<p>It also isn’t always coming from them.
I know women who are gorgeous, but their * husbands* have certain " expectations" of their appearance. They are usually in the “uber-successful” range of social/economic/political achievement ( but not saying all people in that area- by any means , use that measure) & my impression is, these guys are competitive, not just with each other- but by using their wives appearance as an example of their success.</p>

<p>I don’t think people should " let themselves go" , by which I mean, not caring about your health- not caring about how your appearance affects yourself or others, but I also think freaking out about gaining a couple lbs or * always* " doing" your hair & makeup before you step out the door, is a tad neurotic.</p>

<p>I have blond eyelashes and eyebrows & the reason why it would take me so long in high school to get ready, was meticulously putting on eye makeup. It took * so much time* to do, but I never considered not doing it. I have red- gold hair, which I like now, but in high school,( I felt) it made me stick out in a way that I didn’t like & not wearing mascara, would have made me stick out even more.
:p</p>

<p>I guess I was pretty vain, because I felt like my appearance was the most important thing about me. ( like the women who married men for whom they always have to be " on" )</p>

<p>I remember, trying to get my hair more of a goldenish lt brown color for a highly anticipated date with a young man from a town 20 miles away- but it turned more green than tawny, so I locked myself in my room :frowning:
that was pretty insecure.</p>

<p>The really sad thing is, about being vain, is rather than becoming more individual, they ( usually women), end up looking the same to me.
Like Miss America, but indistinguishable from one another- a very " safe" look.</p>

<p>Neither of my kids however, seem to have inherited those particular set of issues ( or my red hair)- of course- they both have eyebrows & eyelashes you can see & I have to admit- I would have cut 20 years off my life to have looked like my youngest daughter in high school.( at the time- )</p>

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<p>[Vain</a> - Definition and More from the Free Merriam-Webster Dictionary](<a href=“http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/vain]Vain”>Vain Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster)</p>

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<p>[Vain</a> | Define Vain at Dictionary.com](<a href=“http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/vain]Vain”>VAIN Definition & Usage Examples | Dictionary.com)</p>

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<p>" excessive" is subjective though.
I was raised ( as I suspect many were) even if not directly or consciously, to be very humble, in fact self-deprecating , regarding achievements or appearance.</p>

<p>But I think extreme modesty & vanity are two sides of the same coin, in that people who are excessively vain, as well as those who are self-deprecating, are not people who are self assured or confident, but rely on external measures for their self-worth.</p>

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<p>^ EK, I agree that vanity and extreme modesty are closely linked. I have known both of these types of people and both types seem to be excessively concerned with other people’s opinions. To some extent this concern with “what everyone else thinks” is pretty normal for teens, but sadly some people never grow out of it.</p>