What is YOUR definition of PROMISCUITY & How do you FEEL about it....

Parent Cafe
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<p>So we should not have any sense of morality in the public sphere?</p>

<p>Because it cannot be perfectly regulated, we should not try?</p>

<p>Someone needs to read Miss Manners. Social ostracism is a very valuable tool for regulating adult behaviour. Parenting is a good way to ensure that little kids never grow up to be adults that need such regulation. Teach young boys that chasing after sex is wrong; teach both girls and boys to respect themselves enough to not sleep around.</p>

<p>Unfortunately, we live in a society that encourages promiscuous sex. We live in a society in which abortions are empowering, in which divorce is a natural result of many marriages, and in which date rape is considered to be normal… because she really wasn’t protesting that much, was she? After all, women like sex and she’s just ashamed!</p>

<p>I long for the day in which people can understand the difference between being racist, sexist, or homophobic and being judgmental towards people who act badly. We cannot control our race, gender, sexual orientation, parent’s wealth, height, or presence of mental disorders; however, we decide every day whether we are going to treat people with dignity and act in accordance with a moral compass. I have no difficulty being judgmental towards people who don’t know how to conduct themselves. I also have no difficulty being judgmental towards people who rationalize bad behaviour… or blame the people who have to put up with it. </p>

<p>By the way, dahlin, you’re so cute… you crack me up:

I guess the term “cognitative dissonance” has never been introduced to you. Oh well. :slight_smile: (Side note: I long for the day when one of your lovely daughters gets her butt dumped for the same reason. I want you to look into her eyes and tell her that it’s all her fault. Something tells me that you’re one of those people who starts to care only when it hits home.)</p>

<p>We shouldn’t blame daughters for “showing skin,” but we should have parents who don’t let their daughters dress like tramps, no matter how much their developing self-esteems may suffer; we should not raise sons who grow up to be men who think that it’s okay to lust after younger women; and we should value wisdom, intelligence, and sagacity in women more than we do - because older women have an allure, a sexiness, and an attractiveness all their own. </p>

<p>As for what it tells me about my choice in men… nothing, except that I need to date men who don’t think that your tramp girlfriends are normal. (How do ya like them apples?) Try dating in 2006 in any location north of the Mason-Dixon line. Don’t put out, get dumped. It’s something I see with my girlfriends, my own experiences, and friends of friends. There is a lot of condescension for women who don’t have sex after a month. My exes have been asked why they would continue to date a woman after two months if they aren’t getting sex. </p>

<p>Somehow, I don’t think that a societal issue is my fault. It’s not my choice in men; it’s the society that slut women created when they decided that the sexual revolution was normal. Certainly screws the rest of us, but what do you all care? Your creation, our problem. Helluva legacy.</p>

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<p>Aries, you are one smart girl!</p>

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<p>Aries, are you divorced?</p>

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<p>There’s a commercial for e-Harmony in here, somewhere!</p>

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<p>Your convuluted logic, took me a few reads to get around it</p>

<p>So, if you have a few women in society who are tramps, ALL men will want ALL women to put out, and whatever things they learned growing up, whever values their parents instilled in them, men are too weak to have any values, any of their OWN morals, any of their own thoughts, or self control, that men are so weak, so animalistic, that if a women is strolling he can’t help himself, or if he hears some guy got lucky, his own judgements, his own values got out the window?</p>

<p>Boy, you don’t give men much credit</p>

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<p>And that woman can’t spot players or jerks </p>

<p>Here is my take, in society, you will have all kinds, imagine the bell curve, all kinds of people but most are in the middle, and sometimes the two ends will run into each other and not be a match</p>

<p>As I said, when societies try to oppress people for doing things that some find morally disgusting, but basically a PERSONAL vice or BEDROOM antics, or blaming WOMEN, it doesn’t usually turn out well</p>

<p>The article I refereed to before, the Men Lusting, they were takng about daughters of ALL ages, and to blame a 5 year old for wearing a swimsuit that showed her belly for blaming HER for men lusting, I would repulsive, to say that men can’t control themselves because a 16 yearold shows some cleavage says more about the men than it does about the girls</p>

<p>I wish you gave men more credit than you do…</p>

<p>If my H knows one of his single friends got lucky with some tramp, my H doesn’t go looking for her</p>

<p>If my Ds have condoms, IF they decide to have sex, at least they will be safe, having condoms in the house does not mean they are gonna run out and sleep with everyboy</p>

<p>And, many kids, with NO condoms, do have all kinds of sex</p>

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<p>A promiscious person is someone is who is having more sex than you are…</p>

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<p>CGM:</p>

<p>That is not what I said. I’m not surprised that most of it went over your head; you aren’t very good at reading and understanding things that have a different perspective. You also tend to see what you want to see and then force-fit others’ words into that perspective.</p>

<p>I don’t think that men are weak; I just think that we let them get away with a lot of garbage that would have merited a good butt-kicking nary a generation or two ago. Rare is the mother who instills conservative values in her son; I most certainly said that instilling values in children needs to happen more, not less. Those men who have had strong women in their lives and good fathers are not the men that I decry; I wish there were more. If you skip over half of what I say, substitute in your own nonsense, and then claim it convoluted, I suppose it would seem that way; however, that is not a property of my own posts but an issue with your reading. </p>

<p>There are many things in my life that I would not wish on my worst enemy; however, I do think that they would be eye-opening experiences for those who claim to know so very much. You have not (I hope) dated in this millenium; you cannot know, first-hand, what it is like to date in this era. While I would not wish it upon you, no matter how irrational you may be, I do think that living like this for a few months would radically change your perspective. </p>

<p>There is a world of difference between the men who were raised in conservative, traditional homes and those who were raised by flower children. It is not a matter of not giving men enough credit; I’m simply pointing out that, as a whole society, we have allowed many men to get away with acting abominably. I’ve been lucky to meet so many wonderful men who treat women with respect… those who have volunteered a shotgun and a shovel for men who act inappropriately - which is wonderful; to be silent is to condone*. </p>

<p>I cannot think of what the world would be like without any behavioural norms; when the only behaviour that is condemned is that regulated through our laws. I’m picturing a world without etiquette, courtesy, and human dignity. It is not in our nature to always be kind to those around us, to put others ahead of ourselves, to sacrifice for family harmony - yet we do so anyway. People retain the right to act as they wish; however, only in the most crazed of worlds is that right unfettered from responsibility and consequences. </p>

<p>It’s fine until it’s you or your kid - and it will be, someday. Someday it’ll be your kid who gets dumped for not putting out and you will be on the warpath - justifiably. Someday it will be your kid who is cheated on - but hey, they weren’t married. Someday, it will be one of your daughters who is pressured, forced, or propositioned by a married man. Your attitude about not imposing our own thoughts and feelings on others will take a radical turn… because, all of a sudden, you’ll see the harm in not setting high expectations for people.</p>

<p>I’m not sure where you get the condom issue - please get off auto-rant. </p>

<ul>
<li> To not remain silent…
When the Nazis came for the communists,
I remained silent;
I was not a communist.</li>
</ul>

<p>When they locked up the social democrats,
I remained silent;
I was not a social democrat.</p>

<p>When they came for the trade unionists,
I did not speak out;
I was not a trade unionist.</p>

<p>When they came for the Jews,
I did not speak out;
I was not a Jew.</p>

<p>When they came for me,
there was no one left to speak out.</p>

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<p>Must say, I love how you, without ANY rationale, say that I blame women… and then turn around and say that I blame men! No wonder why you can’t follow me - you can’t separate out a judgment on one person or type of person and the whole gender. Actually, you’re like that with a lot of things - you can’t separate out a politician from his group, a promiscuous woman from the gender, and sex-focused men from the entire gender. First, learn to do that. It is a problem that runs rampant through your posts, which seem irrational because you make such huge, screwy assumptions.</p>

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<p>Knowing a little background might be helpful in understanding your position.</p>

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<p>A generation ago was the early 1980’s - believe me, people weren’t less promisicious than they are today.</p>

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<p>Good one!</p>

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<p>Sometimes you can’t unlearn basic biology. Men and women differ–especially in this area. That’s just 100,000 or so years of Darwin.</p>

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<p>barrons talked about DARWIN, good thing I was sitting down!!!</p>

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<p>I never said I was a conservative Christian. Just a semi-conservative free thinker.</p>

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<p>Wow, that’s a lot of venom, Aries. </p>

<p>I agree with with Dadguy: “A promiscious person is someone is who is having more sex than you are”</p>

<p>And based on your rant about “slut women”… I’d add, “a ‘slut’ is the girl who happens to be with the guy that won’t give you the time of day.” </p>

<p>Sorry it’s such a sore point for you.</p>

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<p>

Aries, I think I understand what you are saying. You are talking about civilized society, where social norms are enforced through accepted standards. And I disagree that things were not that different in the 80’s. When I was in high school (class of '77) it was NOT common for girls to sleep around, and the concept of “hooking up” was foreign to almost everyone I knew. </p>

<p>At one time, there was social pressure for people to be married before having a sexual relationship, which reduced the number of unmarried mothers. Promiscuity – probably defined as more partners than spouses – reduced the risks of sexually transmitted diseases. Sex as a way to end a first date is a relatively new phenomenon, and I’m sure it makes it difficult for anyone who has a more traditional viewpoint to stick with their values.</p>

<p>I don’t see the value or benefit to women for casual sex. Women tend to bear the burden for birth control, STD’s affect their fertility far more than for men, and the emotional impact of sex without love must be extremely negative, especially for young women. I only have sons, in whom I hope we’ve instilled some basic respect for women and good values. But if I had a daughter, I’d do everything in my power to protect her from the popular culture’s notion of “empowered female sexuality.” The notion that women should sleep around as much as any hormone-driven man seems like the Emperor’s New Clothes – how can women have fallen for this? Women win when there is a committed man involved. Women lose when they are de-valued through casual sex.</p>

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<p>“I only have sons, in whom I hope we’ve instilled some basic respect for women and good values.”</p>

<p>Bravo! It is so important for boys to actually be taught to respect women. I’ve seen parents who are protective of their daughters but let their sons run wild…the “boys will be boys” mentality. I also found that boys who are respectful to their mothers show respect to other women too. Do you think there is a correlation there? Boys who treat their mothers well will treat their wives well?</p>

<p>Off the topic: How do you do the quote thing?</p>

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<p>I went to high school and college in the 1970’s and occasioanlly I run into somene who “remembers” that there really wasn’t that much sex and drugs around in those days. It’s all relative I suppose, but even if there is not as much as there is now, there was a lot of it back then.</p>

<p>That got me to thinking…there is likely to be some future time when people will regard the sexual mores of 2006 as “quaint”. Whoa!</p>

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<p>Clueless, actually one of the things which attracted me to my husband initially was the kindness and respect he showed his mother. I’d had a boyfriend who was constantly at odds with his mom, and my husband just seemed so mature in the way he treated his mother.</p>

<p>Quotation marks are done as followe, without any spaces between brackets and the words “quote” or “/quote”.</p>

<p>[ quote ] Embed the material you want to highlight [ /quote ]</p>