<p>My two sons aren’t as seriously ill, but I can definitely relate to the mother. The CNN author spent months following the family.</p>
<p>At least two times, I have been afraid that one of my sons wasn’t going to make it. I share pretty freely, because I think it’s important for people to learn more about mental illness. We have to continue to find better ways to treat and help ill people.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing this, and thanks for your openness. I agree that it is important for people to not feel like they are the only ones struggling with mental illness in their families.</p>
<p>Thank you for sharing this, I just spent the morning on a discharge planning call for my older sister. She is close to 50 and our Mom is almost 80. My sister has easily been in and out of hospitals 100 times over the past 30 yrs. She has a strong support system, but this is such a long hard journey.</p>
<p>The CNN piece really demonstrates what difficulties the families of mentally ill kids face. It’s a tough road. My stepdaughter and her husband are going through something similar with my grandson who has reactive affective disorder. They do a great job with him, but it’s parenting 24/7 and there are lots of ups and downs. I truly hope there will be help for my grandson and all kids with these types of issues/illnesses. Thank you for posting, ML.</p>
<p>We too have friends with a mentally ill son. They have (especially the mother) tried everything: hospitalization (under 18), therapy, drugs…you name it they have spent their lives trying to help him. When I hear of a shooting I check the name of the shooter. I finally told my friend that I do this. She answered :me too. </p>
<p>So, for those of us who are blessed with healthy families say thank you. To those of us who judge these families (we did I am so sorry to say) whether it is about what is really wrong (we never saw the behaviors because he behaved in front of us), course of treatment don’t. We saved the friendship by apologizing for our ignorance. And hope that there will be a better future.</p>
<p>ML: thank you for posting. I wish you peace.</p>
<p>This is a good article. It is very brave for this family (and ML) to put this outthere. </p>
<p>It is absolutely correct, that the issue of mental health is never brought up forefront with each mass shooting. It is always overshadowed by the gun control. Most people never look at the root of the problem.</p>
<p>People with mental problems (and their families) deserve the help, and they for the most part do not get it. Besides facing the problems arising from defunding in-patient facilities, the families also have the problems with health insurance not covering the treatments. </p>
<p>Long time ago, I read an article in which the mother had to give her parental rights, so that her child could get help. The insurance would not cover the treatment, she could not pay out of pocket. It was a heart-breaking story.</p>
<p>I have to question whether any of the mass shooting incidents involved perpetrators who were unable to get appropriate mental health care. The relatively affluent family of the Newtown shooter was either in denial or inexcusable ignorance about his mental health, plus he was legally an adult who could refuse treatment. The Aurora shooter had been seeing a psychiatrist. There is much more to the issue of identifying and protecting ourselves from the violent mentally ill than merely assuring access to treatment.</p>
<p>Unfortunately for some people the treatment has to be involuntary commitment. But for the most the funding for these facilities ended long time ago. Having access to out-patient facilities, which is a system we have right now, is not a solution for some people.</p>
<p>Thanks for sharing. We have our share of this in our family – my mom, and now, my nephew. It is a tough situation, that never seems to end. There are better and worse times, it seems, but no cure that I know of. And treatment is all over the map. Some people get lucky and get treatment that helps, others seem to get treatment that makes things worse. <em>Daniel</em> has amazing parents. He is young. What will happen to him in the future. What if something happens to his parents, then what? What if something happens to my sister and her husband – what will happen to their son?</p>
<p>I haven’t had a chance to read the article yet but the picture of the son hugging his mom reminded me so much of my own son. He hugs me like that, I think, because life feels so hard for him some times. He is mentally ill and we have been lucky so far because the treatment he is receiving is helping. I am thankful for every day that he seems good because feeling good isn’t something he can take for granted. I don’t think he would ever hurt anyone but himself but I worry about that all the time.</p>
<p>MaineLonghorn - I remember when my oldest brother was going through a divorce and went into counseling; he shared this with my parents (he was probably in his 50s). They told him the only thing therapists are good for is to teach people to hate their parents. It’s no wonder neither my brother or I had very close relationships with them, and would not turn to them in difficult times. In contrast, I think about how supportive you’ve been for your sons and how much you must respect them to honor their needs in the way you do and not feel threatened by it. I hope somewhere, someone is giving you major pats on the back for a job well-done!</p>
<p>I do not know wether it is mental, biological or physiological, but my S is unable to cope in this world in a normal adult way, ie living apart from parents and getting by. He is 27. </p>
<p>I have a close friend, sister and co-worker experiencing the same thing. And they each know of other friends or acquaintances experiencing the same.</p>
<p>To the Moms and Dads who care and intervene: Really you are teaching him how to manage his illness, and meanwhile saving his life. Right now, you are modeling all of that.</p>
<p>My hope for your family is that, after a while, he’ll have had enough repeat experiences that he’ll begin to take charge of your current role (managing his illness). He’ll be the navigator, always with the support of his medical team but more by his initiative. </p>
<p>Someday I hope you can finally take a back seat.</p>
<p>Mental illness can be tricky to diagnose and to treat. But even in cases where a successful med is found, the patient sometime opts to stop taking it. It’s all very tough on the families.</p>
<p>In our state, it is tough to get MH hospitalization once a young person reaches age 18 unless the person requests it and is in eminent risk of harming self or others. Even then, hospitalizations are often only for 24-72 hours. </p>
<p>Really am concerned about respite for the caregivers of the mentally ill. Seems like a high burnout and endless job.</p>