<p>Hi cur! Your post does necessitate a reply so here goes! You are correct that we do not know anything about the OP’s situation. However it seemed that they did not consider anything other that searching for that “free ride” and thus drastically limiting their child’s choices. And it seemed that it was primarily a parental decision vs a family one. That was my problem with their approach,</p>
<p>Regarding our decision, yes it seems as if we were stingy given that our EFC was $80,000+. However one reason for that is because our son had a personal brokerage account amounting to $76,000. We were able to do that because of a gift of $5000 from my mom when my son was born which we invested. Also we purchased a new home a few months before he was born and when we refinanced we took $7500 of the cap gain from the sale of our first house which was also put into his college fund. Eighteen years later, bingo $76,000.</p>
<p>But that is only half the story. As parents, we have a strong belief that it is our responsibility to teach our son to be responsible, independent, and self-relient. We have done this several ways-increasingly liberal curfews during hs to the point where he had none during weekends senior year, if he was to have his own car it was his responsibly to buy it, and made him solely responsible for his college search process. Which gets to the rub.</p>
<p>Because he had a sizeable college fund we decided to make him financially invested in his college choices. We did that by deciding as a family that he would be responsible for paying tuition, academic fees, books and spending money. We would pick up everything else-room, board, medical, car insurance, and cell phone. It was his decision to go on a merit aid quest so that he would have a nest egg come graduation. He did tons of his own research which resulted in a total of $370000+ in merit aid offers. He chose RPI because of the merit scholarships, the academics and the somewhat unique campus culture.</p>
<p>So the decisions were his to make. We did cut him some slack this past year. He moved off campus into a rowhouse with 10 friends and ended up saving $4000 in room and board. We did chip in that amount toward his tuition so that our cost in supporting him was the same.</p>
<p>If he had chosen to attend a college offering no merit aid he would have needed to take out loans totally as much as $50,000+. Would we have allowed him to start out with such a massive debt? No. We would have gifted him $10,000/yr to get him into the $25,000 range. But he didnt know that going in.</p>
<p>Although there is now way to objectively prove it, I think our approach has paid off big time. Our son if significantly invested in HIS college education. I believe he enjoys the fact that he has a major role in this responsibility. He has overperformed academically thus far because he is taking his education very seriously. He is on track to graduate with high honors and accelerating his schedule so that he should be able to complete 2/3rds of his MS degree within the 4 years. And a TA offer is a virtual cinch to pay for the 9th semester tuition to complete the MS degree requirements</p>
<p>I know we took a rather unconventional approach here but it fit in with the values and lessons we want to impart to our son so that he is prepare to become a responsible and happy adult when he enters the “real world”. And it is not an approch that would suit every other family. One size does not fit all in this college “game” or parenting in general.</p>
<p>Cur, I hope that clears thing up a bit. And good luck to your daughter, whose next adventure is less than one month away!!!</p>