<p>First, some background.</p>
<p>I started reading this forum a few years ago, when my oldest was a sophmore in high school. I quickly learned that ours would be a very different experience from many here–my daughter was extremely specific about certain college criteria (large school with prominant journalism and DI sports programs (the latter to satisfy her desire to become a sportswriter), located in the Midwest or East, but not within 100 miles of home (Goodbye, Northwestern) or anywhere else in the Big Ten (because she would have to root against her childhood favorite Michigan Wolverines, a school with no journalism program), and the search would be to find the best school for her within that framework. We weren’t concerned, as are many here, about the vagaries of the admissions process, since she was either a very strong candidate, or a sure thing, at the 4 schools she identified as best meeting her criteria–Missouri, Syracuse, Texas and Maryland. Nonetheless, I’ve developed a kinship with those going through the same process, albeit in different circumstances, and with different criteria.</p>
<p>Until recently, we were convinced that she had truly adopted the “love thy safety” rule oft-repeated on this forum, and would attend Mizzou. She felt comfortable there, and had gotten into various honors and scholars programs. As her senior year progressed, though, she began voicing certain thoughts about things such as location near a big city, diversity amongst the student body, and overall quality of programs and students outside her intended field. Ultimately, after two visits, both of which she loved, she has decided to attend the University of Maryland-College Park, as a direct admit to its Merrill School of Journalism and the College Park Scholars program. She’s very happy and excited. So are we–you can’t ask for more than that your kid make a mature, grounded decision (whether it is the one you would have made or not), and is excited about progressing to the next stage.</p>
<p>What I’ve learned, for those who will be in this situation going forward.</p>
<li><p>I’ve become a disbeliever in the idea of early decision, absent an almost unshakable desire to attend a particular school. Kids change their minds, and while they sometimes do so for bad reasons, they often do so for good ones. I realize that there are many schools which are easier to get into if you apply ED, but getting into a “better” school, and being unhappy about it later is not a good thing. </p></li>
<li><p>In conjunction with 1, encouraging your kid to thoroughly explore alternatives is a good thing. In January, after my daughter had received an award and scholarship from Mizzou, she said “I’m going to go there–should I just withdraw my application at Maryland” (she decided to only apply to those two schools–after visits to Syracuse and Texas, she like Missouri better)? We told her not to–she needed to visit both schools as a senior to see how she felt about them now. This led to her decision, which was evident from her body language within 10 minutes of her first visit to Maryland.</p></li>
<li><p>Sometimes, things like location are as important as the ranking of a school or a particular department. For my daughter, it has a scholastic component, since her journalism internships (at least during the year) will likely be with big city papers rather than within the college town and its environs, but even if that isn’t the case, location still matters. The type of kid who wants to be near a city is often different than the kid who wants to be in a college town. The notion that a kid will be equally happy at, say, Columbia and Dartmouth because they’re both Ivy League schools strikes me as silly.</p></li>
<li><p>In the end, this is all about gut feel. There will come a point during the year when your kid makes a decision. Unless you can’t afford it (and, if you can’t, this conversation should have occurred earlier in the process), remember that it’s their decision. It’s great to say my kid got into X, or my kid got into the ___ program at Y, but in the end, they are the ones living with the decision. I had gotten so accustomed to the fact that my daughter was going to be at Mizzou (a terrific j program with great people by the way), and so proud of her for getting into the programs and scholarship situations she had that I was, at first, startled and somewhat resistant to the idea that she could be changing course. She did, and all I have to do is watch her to know that she’s happy with having done so. That’s what counts.</p></li>
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<p>Good luck to all of you as you go through the process (and to my wife and I 4 and 6 years down the road).</p>