The other one is a couple we know says call us to get together. Amazingly the phone goes both ways but it’s on us to call them. So I call and they are really busy and they can’t get together for 10 days.
My mil has called me in the past to see if I’ve talked to her other DIL. Nope, she never calls me, sil doesn’t answer her phone or her texts. Mil has called me to see if I’ve talked to my sil because mil wants to get in touch with her son (not my husband but his brother). I ask mil why doesn’t she call her son (again not my husband but his brother) and she’ll say that she doesn’t know if he’s busy. SMH
The other day I get a text from my sil telling me that they are going away for Christmas this year so I can make plans with my il’s. This passive aggressive text is because sil doesn’t want to tell mil that they are going on vacation (with her parents), and her husband won’t tell his parents that they are going away. So they go through me to avoid telling mil. This happens with increasing frequency
Concerning voice mail-if one is not going to listen to vm left, delete or disable your vm. If you have your vm set up, and someone can leave a message, please listen and delete message. A big pet peeve of mine is when a patient calls our office, leaves us a nurse message, but when we go to call them back, they don’t answer and their vm box is full, so we can’t leave them a message or their mailbox is not set up. Of course the patient calls back the next day angry that we didn’t return their call.
Along the same lines, I know people don’t answer calls from unknown numbers, but if you have left a message for someone not in your contact list to return your call, then go ahead and answer. You can always hang up if it is a spam call!
When we go out to eat DH will order the same thing I do, almost every time. It drives me nuts. Especially when he says “I was going to order the xxxxx, but changed my mind since you ordered yyyyy. I wish I had stuck with xxxxx.”
My husband (not DH haha) will sometimes order the same thing I do. He calls it “insert our last name here” rule. The definition of the rule is, if he can’t watch me eat it without wanting it, he has to order it. I’m flattered because he’s the master at being able to choose the best item on the menu.
My son is in marching band and indoor percussion. The band director NEVER lets them out on time. Always an excuse. I think it is beyond rude. We’re at the point where he avoids eye contact, which my husband and son find so amusing!
My kids educated me on the “don’t leave a voice message” rule years ago, but what we all do, if it’s something we don’t want to forget what it is, is leave a text. Much easier and faster to access. Sometimes the text is simply “nothing important catch you later.”
@deb922 - we have another couple/friends who we adore BUT they tend to cancel plans frequently or seem to expect us to be more flexible than they are willing to be. I get that 2 of their adult children and grandchildren live in town, but sometimes if you already have plans and your kid asks your babysit, say NO, that you already have plans. The husband late cancelled or no showed running with DH so many times that DH doesn’t bother to call him anymore, and if the friend asks when/where he is running, DH tells him but doesn’t expect him to show up.
I have a friend who literally never would answer her phone. Never. She only made calls. If I missed her call even by seconds and called back right away she wouldn’t pick up. She’d usually call back but not always immediately. She said her husband said that they shouldn’t ever pick up. Just make calls when it’s a good time for them. I finally pointed out to her that if I did this too we would literally never speak. Ever. And unless that’s what she wanted she better pick up at least some of the time. She does now and told her husband she’d realized just how rude his rule was.
I hate when people are late, whether friends, doctors, contractors, etc.
I can’t tolerate people who keep checking their phones. If you’re expecting an important call/message, fine, but otherwise it really bugs me. DH does this - he won’t check his phone while he’s driving, but it he’s walking or sitting at dinner, his phone is the first thing he grabs for. Why am I there?
Being habitually late is so incredibly rude and what’s worse is that the people I know who are have all kinds of ridiculous justifications for it in their minds. The fact that they are infringing on other people’s time seems not to occur to them. One person I know actually said that she was late because she “ didn’t like waiting for other people”. That one left me speechless. She had no clue why this was unforgivably self centered.
I refuse to return phone calls unless I know why the person made the call. If they don’t leave a message of some sort then they don’t get a return call.
I ignore a please call me text/VM, unless I knew why they wanted called.
I pay my phone bill, so my phone is for my convenience. Other people don’t get to make the rules as to how I use my phone. They don’t get to only tell me to call them and expect a call back. If they want to talk with me and I am not available then they need to either keep trying until I can answer or tell me why they want to talk with me and wait for me to call/message them back.
It is not that much more difficult to say “I’d like to discuss so and so’s birthday by whatever time and date, could you call so we can discuss” as compared to the generic “please call me”
" “I’d like to discuss so and so’s birthday by whatever time and date, could you call so we can discuss” as compared to the generic “please call me” - LOL, one of the reasons people say “please call me” on text messages is for privacy/
People sometimes have their phones out with text msg visible to others.
EXAMPLE: If you ever call my husband to arrange a surprise birthday event for me… do say “please call me” because I see lots of his messages when his phone is on the kitchen counter.
I hate frequent, seemingly casual last- minute cancellations. Years ago I experienced something that put a new and awful spin on that.
I had a close friend ( or I thought we were close) when our daughters were babies through elementary age. She would frequently make plans to get together and/or arrange children’s play dates but cancel frequently at the last minute. It got to the point that I had to explain how hard that was on my D and me (I’d scrub and launder extra-hard when it was to be at our house because of her D’s allergies). After a few years of this her daughters were , shockingly, one night, sent to foster care…it turns out her husband hit the children and my friend would cancel because of bruises… I believe she wanted to be a good mother but was terrified her husband (a physician) would get custody.
She, herself, had been verbally abused and worn down so much by him that she believed he was more powerful than he was. She was not a U.S. citizen (he was) and she had no confidence that anyone in the courts would believe her. He was a guy with multiple lawsuits out at any given time and she thought he was terribly sophisticated with legal matters and would take the children away. That is how he controlled her. In so many ways she was a smart, competent and independent woman except in this way. Husband worked out of town in distant hospitals frequently so she breathed easily whenever he was gone. I only met him a few times and he could be charming. . I was aware of some marital problems (and told her I’d support her if she tried to leave) but I had no idea about the children. It floors me now that I hadn’t connected the dots and I’ll forever feel guilty. Fortunately, in a painful and long-drawn-out process she was able to take the children back to her country but not without some damage. it has not been a smooth road. I think her divorce is just being finalized this year. So now I look at my exasperation about her unreliability in such a different light. Flighty people still irk me but…you never know what’s really going on in people’s lives.
Back to the mundane, my husband does not know how to separate his vocal chords from his muscles when he coughs or sneezes. so he literally yells out his coughs and I HATE it! Cringe every time ? to the point of feeling angry about it even if that’s uncharitable of me. have never heard anyone cough this loud…almost a gagging sound. I think, surely a person can learn to compartmentalize the coughing action from the voice action! maybe not. But I just can’t seem to make my peace with it or feel as much sympathy as I should when he’s sick because of this one silly thing that repulses me ?
sorry about the typos (if that’s your peeve). I’m having to use a new iPad while my laptop is being repaired and I’m terrible with this gadget.
The biggest little thing that drives me crazy is – me.
With my technological ineptitude.
With some of my own annoying habits, such as having no self control when it comes to ice cream. Such as always losing my sunglasses. Or keys.
There are a few things that annoy me in my husband. But since I’m far from perfect I don’t comment. (Much.) It’s how we’ve lasted together almost 35+ years…
“Reaching out” to someone." When did this phrase start? I envision this very cartoonish long arm w/ even longer fingers tapping someone on the shoulder : Everyone uses this phrase now but I would rather, call, stop by, meet, invite, etc.