<p>We have a vacation home and we love nothing better than to have friends visit for days at a time (from all over the place). Sometimes as long as a week. </p>
<p>It is so interesting to see so many families and their dynamics, and also see how people differ so much in being ‘a guest’. There is HUGE variation and while I try so hard not to judge- we truly want them to just enjoy themselves and no one is perfect- it does make me realize that guests vary a lot in doing the “guest thing”. I also realize I’ve not always been a good guest myself compared to others. Now I have a chance to borrow from everyone! Ha. But I realized that what one person likes as a guest, might not be what another person likes as a guest. No doubt there are big regional differences too. </p>
<p>What makes your guests great guests? What are guest no-nos on your list?</p>
<p>Here are things I hope I will do when I’m a guest next because I liked it when I have been the host: </p>
<ul>
<li><p>Offer to make a meal, especially so if you know the host sucks in the kitchen (like me). And if you too aren’t keen on being in the kitchen (like me!), just sweeping the floor or doing something useful housekeeping-wise is very sweet.</p></li>
<li><p>An alternative to offering to make a meal is to buy the ingredients and make your favorite drink for everyone (our last guests made AMAZING margaritas and it was really special). Of course this assumes your hosts like to drink. </p></li>
<li><p>Try to eat some of whatever is served because the insecure cook (like me) will feel really bad when the guest doesn’t even TRY the food (this happened twice, both with husbands of friends and both times I made pasta primavera…come on boys, I find it hard to believe you can’t eat vegetables out of politeness!). Of course this assumes the host has also checked on dietary preferences prior. </p></li>
<li><p>Collect up the bedding at the end of your stay so the host can wash it later.</p></li>
<li><p>A small gift of appreciation is always nice, especially if it comes from where you live. As my mom used to say, ‘never go to someone’s house empty handed’. Cost isn’t an issue (though do avoid $5 wine as people can tell its $5 wine :)) but something small and useful is always a nice keepsake of the visit. And in place of gifts, if you are handy, making something instead (this advice makes much more sense in rural locations like our cabin). We’ve had guests put some stones in place for a walkway, another connected 3 giant logs that we were able to use for a hammock swing, and someone else carved some beach wood that we were able to use as a wall hook. It adds permanent memories to our vacation home.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>A good house guest is someone who doesn’t treat your house like a bed and breakfast, and you as the inn keeper without pay. Also someone who leaves while you are still having fun.</p>
<p>starbright,
You are very kind to host so many friends. I hope they are all gracious guests! :)</p>
<ul>
<li><p>Try to be a blessing every day. Help clean up from each meal in some way, be it washing dishes, clearing the table, or wiping down counters. </p></li>
<li><p>As the OP said, clear your linens. Even better, if you have time when you leave, ask for fresh sheets and make the beds for your hostess so they are clean for the next guests. </p></li>
<li><p>Don’t need to be entertained and know when to make yourself scarce. Sometimes your host family may need some time alone.</p></li>
<li><p>A hostess gift is very nice and can be a simple as a basket of fresh breakfast items with coffee or tea that the hostess likes.</p></li>
</ul>
<p>My sister just came for a visit, we had a great time, but she told her recent guest(s) from hell story, and we were on the floor.</p>
<p>She received an email from a college friend whom she had not seen since graduation. The friend said her family were going to be in the area to attend a wedding. My sister invited them to “stop by.” The friend said they would come on Fri and leave on Sun to go to the wedding. They wanted to visit few places after the wedding before they headed back home (CA) in a week. </p>
<p>They showed up, quite impressed with my sister’s house, pool, and maid. They lounged around the pool, ate the food, and accepted my sister and H offer to pay for all of their dinners out. On Sat night, they informed my sister that they would be coming back after the wedding because they decided to cancel their other plans. They proceeded to stay at my sister’s place for a week, expected their housekeeper to clean up after them, came down every morning to see what my sister was serving for breakfast (my sister worked). One day they went to a local play land, they called my sister at work to let her know that they would be back for dinner. On the day they were leaving, they asked my sister if she had any food for them to pack for the road.</p>
<p>My BIL said, “I didn’t even know them. Thank goodness they weren’t my friends or I would never heard the end of it.”</p>
<p>^ This is hilarious. Holy cow. But hey your SIL and BIL must be some pretty generous folks! And great hosts too! They liked it so much they never wanted to leave! See we don’t have that problem, as no one is waiting for me to make them breakfast! </p>
<p>I don’t have any really good ‘bad guest stories’. Most have been fabulous and we really did buy this place to share it.</p>
<p>We did have one couple who was so critical we won’t invite them back (they are our ‘small dose’ friends it turns out). Sigh. One would open the fridge and comment on the food selection, “OMG, you eat this crap! You know this unhealthy, don’t you?” and the other would repeatedly comment on my spouse’s inferior workmanship (he did all the building himself to our cabins and deck), “oh lookie at this here you installed, see its all wrong, what you should have done is…”. It got so bad it was really funny- my spouse and I kept shooting each other this look, which meant “what the hell? are they ever going to stop?”. We expect this from family, not friends! Lol, maybe they thought they were as close to us as family. </p>
<p>We had one couple leave us their garbage. Lots of it, from their prior 2 week camping trip. Not so bad except we have to haul our garbage home with us too (too rural for pick up).</p>
<p>We had one family of SIX stay with us FOR A WEEK and didn’t once offer to buy any groceries, drinks, anything. And when we ate out one night, they wanted to divide the bill in half! Very strange really. I think it was just the one spouse in this case, as the other is quite the opposite (extremely generous when I’ve travelled with her alone). I’d still have them back as I adore them even if they are cheapos :)</p>
<p>My mom just stayed with us for a week. She took me out to lunch, paid for dinner for my H, herself, and me, offered to help constantly in the kitchen, made her own breakfast, did dishes, took the dog for a walk, brought her laundry to the washer, and even cleaned the bathroom she was using right before she left. And she is almost 82! Also brought small gifts: homemade cookies and a nice pair of tiny scissors for me. I think she is quite a good guest.</p>
<p>Whenever my H and I have been houseguests, we usually come with a prepared meal or the ingredients to do a complete dinner, soup to desert and wine. We have also done appetizers and wine. We try to help with any clean up. We also do exploring on our own, so we give the host a break and some down time. We keep our visit short.</p>
<p>I hate house guests, I guess because growing up my family always had people coming to stay for one reason or another ( I think the beach is the main one) I will not stay with people, (not even my own parents when I go home for the holidays) seriously if I can not afford a hotel room then I should not be on vacation in the first place.</p>
<p>I think it is cool to read the different dynamics of both the OP as well as responders… I particularly like LasMa “Leaving within 3 days.”</p>
<p>My favorite houseguests put on the spa robes and drink coffee on the deck with no make-up on and messy hair. My favorites empty the dishwasher or set the table. If they want an elaborate meal they help shop for it and cook it. They get up early and hike or take a long brisk walk after dinner. They laugh and enjoy reading. I live a five hour drive from my vacation home in the mountains. My husband comes regularly too but he understands that sometimes I just want a girl’s weekend.</p>
<p>oldfort- Your sister should send them a hotel bill!!!</p>
<p>I have similar stories with my notorious BIL and his family-- they’ve pulled this kind of S**T several times, including continually announcing they would arrive earlier and earlier to stay with us when the olympics were hosted in our city. We had gotten their family of 5 tickets to a baseball game (US vs Italy, great seats right on the first base line). They decided to change their plans, to go mooch off relatives in FL for several days, and then return to mooch off us for several more days (they were with us for a total of over a week) and not only stiffed us for/blew off the baseball tickets (they never apologized or offered to pay us for these 5 extra tickets, which were NOT cheap), but then had the gaul to ask my DH to now buy them tickets to a different event— WHICH HE DID! I was livid. I refused to go with them. Those tickets were even MORE expensive.</p>
<p>They lounged around, parents slept in but the 3 kids were awake wanting breakfast (yes I worked too and was working and taking care of my own 2 kids) . My DH worked for a company that sponsored the olympics so he was working at several venues (fun! but he wasnt there to cook breakfast for the gang). My inlaws are hypochondriacs so raided my medicine cabinet and took whatever old major prescription pain pill (aka narcotic, controlled substance which I rarely take so there were old bottles that should have been tossed) they could lay their hands on.</p>
<p>They stayed longer than expected, and then had the gaul to ask us to buy them more olympic memorabilia and MAIL IT TO THEM along with the s**T they left behind. Yes, they cooked one meal. Big whoop. They were a horror. Do NOT be like them!!!</p>
<p>Another time they were coming through town (their way of travelling is to mooch off people in every city they can). My elderly dad was visiting at the time, and had health issues that required him to eat no later than 7. They were supposed to arrive by 5 and we were going to all go out to eat. At noon they were just waking up from their previous place, 7 hrs away. We tried to call them several times and finally took my dad out to eat at 6:30. Long story short- they roll into town close to MIDNIGHT, and expect my DH to “meet them” at the diner that was open (that meant they expected him to come and pay the bill). I insisted he politely decline. They rolled into our house after 1 am and of course made a racket that woke my dad. </p>
<p>Lovely relatives. I have a million of these stories.</p>
<p>My horror guest story wasn’t the guests! Acquaintances we knew would invite friends over to dinner when they were in town for an extended course. They would proceed to request friend spend the weekend at their house and watch the kids because they had to go out of town. These people worked in same business and were higher up than friends so friends felt pressure to oblige due to subordinate position. This happened more than once! Needless to say friends weren’t friends anymore and word got out not to go near that family!</p>
<p>I don’t have a million houseguests over but I do occasionally have a few friends and their children over… Just a few things… If you’re staying for a few days and want to leave the door to the guest room wide open… would you mind making your bed? If you don’t want to make your bed fine… just shut the door. Oh, and if you changed a poopy diaper, how about you put it in the trash can outside? The trashcan in my bathroom is not exactly the same as a diaper genie. The same thing applies to the trashcan in the bedrooms as well as in the kitchen. (ESPECIALLY THE KITCHEN!!) Oh, and if your children took all of the items off my bookshelves, would you mind putting them back? I love walking into my guest room after my guests leave and finding a pile of 40 books on the floor. If you have a 1 year old, ask me if I have a baby gate before you literally move my furniture around to block off the entrance way to my kitchen. Why yes, I do have a baby gate. Let’s put it up. Thank you for asking. </p>
<p>When I have friends over they almost always offer to take me out for dinner or to cook a meal since I’m having them over… which I always think is nice.</p>
<p>Don’t get me wrong… I love having people over… maybe my house just isn’t as child proof as their house… but could you just attempt to straighten it up? Even just a little? I bought a baby gate, I have childrens toys, childrens sippy cups, etc. I’ve gone out of my way to make my house kid appropriate. Friends son walks right in my front door and asks if he can play with HIS legos! (I have a ton of duplo blocks as well as a cute duplo block table to build on.)</p>
<p>Yikes! About to BE a houseguest this weekend - sounds though, like we have the right game plan:</p>
<p>D is baking cookies to bring along to share for the weekend.
Planning on buying our friends dinner at the meal out we have planned for Friday night.
Will bring some extra food items/drinks to “pitch in” with our meals.
Called them this week and firmed up arrival/departing time - everyone is on the same page and not wondering!
Clean up/pick up the rooms we will be staying in. Always strip the beds before we leave.</p>
<p>We are bringing our dog. But mostly because our house hosts BEGGED us to bring him for hang out with their dog!!! (this dog thing is new to me - our first pet - I can’t believe I’m packing up a dog to take on our weekend out of town!!!) We will bring his own food, toys, treats and poopie bags. We also bought a new toy for the “host dog”. :)</p>
<p>If your hostess needs to get her head wrapped around the idea of going to work, you know—the type that NEEDS coffee and silence, DO NOT WAKE UP EARLY AND FEEL THAT YOU HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO HER AT THE TABLE AND ENTERTAIN HER WITH YOUR CHATTER.
LEAVE HER ALONE. PLEASE. GO AWAY (I wonder if my guest just saw me type that…never mind, I need to hit the freeway)</p>