My mother (chemist) asked why I wasn’t in my room when she called, and I said, “even an electron is only in its orbital 90% of the time”
I know of dozens of parents who bought homes or condos near campus in order to be able to visit and to have a place to stay on game days (think SEC & Penn State type schools). Often the parents are alums of the school. Usually these are great investments as college town properties have been a solid investment option for decades.
Most recent purchase by a parent acquaintance of a home near son’s campus is a wealthy celebrity who owns many homes. He never went to college and he thinks the campus is beautiful. Probably wants to experience college life–a missed experience-- as best he can as a parent.
Otherwise, what not to do if you’re the parent of a college freshman, is don’t forget to leave a forwarding address if this is your last child to enter college.
I’ve seen parents moving overseas and buying/renting near the college so their freshmen could commute. One wanted to rent a 2 bedroom for just their freshman so they had a place to stay when visiting NYC. I have one commuter, it’s not the same, it’s nice to save money, but if you have to pay for housing anyway, let them live in campus for social reasons, at least freshman year.
My friend’s daughter is graduating from vet school on May 15. After 7 years (3 undergrad, 4 vet school) they have to sell the condo she’s been living in They never stayed in it as she rented out the extra rooms to other students.
Still a good investment as she lived basically free for those years as the rent paid the bills for the parents.
I remember being ‘out’ on a Friday night and telling my friends I had to get home as my mother would be calling at 8 am. She lived 2 time zones away and she could only hold out until 10 am to call. Once a week, 8 on Sat morning. A roommate’s father couldn’t keep the time zones straight and he’d call and say ‘It’s 9 am right?’ No dad, 5 am. It’s two hours the other way.
LOL, this happened to me too! I remember once I had stayed up all night playing a MUD game (yay 90s!) and fell into bed at 7am. 8am rolls around and my mom calls. I, of course, have to answer it because only my parents call at 8am on Saturdays and my roommate was asleep! I then fell asleep on the phone, which irritated my mom to no end. She still brings it up too.
One thing I’ve done that’s worked out well for D24 & I is I have a note on my phone of what her current course schedule is and I purposely do not call or text during those times. AND if I want to call, I text first to ask. And on weekends, I don’t text or call before noon her local time (which is 2 hr ahead of us). So far, that seems to have worked out pretty well.
When I had kids, my mom used to text me to call her when I was free, no hurry. That’s what I still do with my kids, usually they’ll text me back and let me know when they’re probably going to be free and call me back. I still have a couple at school who like to save our conversations gif when they’re walking from A to B, or when they’re getting ready to go out.
If your kid is on your insurance, don’t forget to waive the school insurance/healthcare. You might also want to think about all of the power of attorney and health proxy stuff.
Also, don’t forget to check if your car insurance is going to cover them if they have the car out of state and don’t return for an inspection. (Or any other out of state glitches)
Don’t forget renters’ insurance if they are living off campus (usually required if it’s a complex). You might also want to think about it if they are on campus.
Don’t assume your kid will come home for every vacation. They will now have friends they want to do stuff with over those vacations.
Don’t buy the books until the class starts. (As a freshman parent, you are going to push them to make sure they have done everything needed before classes start. It is very common for professors not to use the books on the course list, and they will tell you the first day of class.
Don’t buy top of the line things like bikes and fancy jackets that often get stolen. Buy cheap. They’re less likely to get stolen and once they do, you won’t feel as bad.
I think those “What not to do” suggestions are too logical for this thread.
Actually this is really important. Once the kid is 18, the parents do not have any say in what treatment the kid gets. So if the kid is (Goddesses forbid!) unconscious or otherwise incapacitated, parents have absolutely no say in any medical decisions. If the kid would prefer that the parents have a say, they need to have a signed medical power of attorney with one or both parents names on it.
Of course, kids should not provide one of these for parents who have medically neglected them (the kid) and/or are anti-science.
This is real! Our daughter was 18+ 1 month and ended up in the emergency room (we brought her in), fortunately she was conscious and could request that we be allowed to see / be with her.
And, they were considering having her stay overnight - but she would have needed to be in an adult ward, not a children’s! Yikes!
Parents are automatically next of kin and entitled to make medical decisions for an incapacitated college student (unless that student is married). No POA necessary.
This is not technically true. There are limited exceptions to HIPAA rules governing the disclosure of private health information and generally require at least the verbal okay of the patient. If the patient is incapacitated then the medical provider makes the decision as to whether or not to release the information or accept the decision of next of kin. There are lots of cases where they do not.
Nothing is automatic in a hospital these days.
I was standing next to a parent’s gurney- holding a notarized copy of every document I needed to make medical decisions for said parent who had dementia, and whose end of life wishes were crystal clear and medically non-ambiguous-- and an attending told me “I need to discuss this with both my Chief and the hospital’s ethics board”.
Ethics board meets twice a week. No thank you. The fear of a malpractice lawsuit is so ingrained in current hospital practices that I would not assume ANYTHING automatic.
POA paperwork is free to download in most states (both for health care and finance). IMO, there is no reason not to having all your legal bases covered.
I’ve had such a wide range of experiences with our adult son. Before we had guardianship, some providers would talk to us even without his consent, but others refused. BUT there’s nothing preventing a parent from sharing anything with providers, so I did that. It’s much easier now that we have guardianship. And fortunately, DS is fine with it. He likes not having to sign all the paperwork for services constantly.
Please return to the thread topic. If users want to continue discussing HIPAA, POA, etc., please start another thread. Thank you for your understanding.
Do not send your kid this book: Fifth Commandment: Honoring Parents. My dad sent it to me for my September birthday as a college freshman. Suffice it to say, I never read it.
Don’t do what my parents did when I was a college freshman:
(this was back in the Stone Age pre-WWW/Internet & my checking account bank statements were mailed each month to my home address, not my college address). Don’t open your kid’s bank statements and review how much money your kid is taking out each week from the ATM…and then a few months into the school year, don’t call your college freshman asking why they keep going to the ATM all the time to get money. AFTER you had promised to your kid that you wouldn’t snoop through their mail.
However, for the kid - do follow up on mail forwarding so that parents are not saving up piles of mail to bring to you at age 27 (arrgh)