<p>I never have any real questions. The teacher never really has much to say either. What do you folks talk about?</p>
<p>By “PT meetings,” do you mean Parent Teacher Association meetings? Or are you referring to individual parent-teacher conferences?</p>
<p>Individual. We don’t have PTA meetings.</p>
<p>we’d always ask how they were doing socially. Both kids are bright and never had a problem doing the work but both could be a little introverted. Also asked if they were turning their homework in on time since that was an issue. </p>
<p>Reiterated to the teacher that we were a team, that we would rather hear about a possible issue sooner rather than later. And that the best means of communication was email first then phone call (unless it was an emergency).</p>
<p>We would keep the teacher informed of deployments so she/he would be aware of possible mood swings/temperment changes.</p>
<p>There’s not a whole lot of time during these things. It’s unfortunate that the parents who do show up for the PT meetings are the parents who were involved and not necessarily the parents that she really needed to be seeing.</p>
<p>It’s been years since I’ve been to parent/teacher meetings, but the questions would be: “How are they doing? Is there anything they should be focusing more on? Is there anything else we should know?” H, in particular, is pretty adamant that in situations like this, it’s best for us to shut up and let the teacher or other professional say what needs to be said.</p>
<p>With my older son we spent a lot of time trying to figure out ways to make him feel like school was more challenging. Mostly figuring out systems for enrichment or acceleration in math, but sometimes other things as well. It was an issue every year until we final got permanent acceleration in middle school.</p>
<p>With my younger son there were always issues. Basically he was a very bright kid with some mild LDs and attention issues. </p>
<p>Mostly though it was a chance to put a face to the person our kids spent 30 hours or so a week with and to assure the teachers that we were basically part of her team.</p>
<p>In addition we generally talked about what books the class would be reading and my husband would offer to come and do a science presentation (he’s a med school professor) and I’d often do some architecture related project with the class.</p>
<p>I frankly have found these meeting to be pretty disappointing, not enough about a clear sense of my child as a student. Only one or two of my Ds’ teachers really understood how to see a given student individually.
However, I did always ask q’s about everything- the stuff that is NOT on the report card- social, the classroom atmosphere, the teacher and his/her life, as well as many q’s about the rubrics behind the grades, the areas that needed improvement, and ways to keep a high-performing child engaged and learning. I also filled the teachers in on any outside info- how the child was handling HW and what they were most enjoying academically, what EC’s were and how they were going, any family issues…
The meetings were overall disturbingly boiler-plate, but I was still very very glad to meet with my children’s teachers one on one.</p>
<p>We ask generic questions like that as well. Does he have friends? (Yes, few but very strong friends.) Does he interact with others in the class? (Yes, he goes around helping people and is class rep or whatever.) What should we worry about? (Nothing, he is a pleasure to teach.) What should we do? (Nothing.) So when this gets repeated year after year it just becomes boring and I feel that I am getting nothing out of it. We didn’t have PT meetings back in India so I had no benchmark to use. Seems like everyone here has the same experience. That’s good.</p>
<p>Mathmom, As for school being challenging, we have long given up on that. Even in private schools the curriculum is ridiculously easy. I don’t think any questions can solve that. I cannot change a whole education system.</p>
<p>I always said I never needed another PT meeting after the first pre-school one. Seriously, the same strengths and weaknesses were being mentioned year 10 as were mentioned in year 1. However, I did appreciate being able to ask some of the questions mentioned above–socialization, ways for improvement, etc. Many of the teachers seemed to provide no info other than what could have easily been retrieved from the on-line system.</p>
<p>At any rate, doesn’t really matter any more. The school did away with them 2 years ago. Their excuse–they didn’t matter. Disheartening, along with several other things happening in my school system.</p>
<p>I actually think it makes a lot of sense to do away with such meetings. I dutifully attend those but scratch my head every single time about what to ask. Of coure I don’t want to disrespect the teacher. My son would pick that attitude up in a second. I think the teacher sets up these meetings because he is also obligated to hold them, and I am obligated to attend. What a cluster* and a waste of time!</p>
<p>I always asked the teacher if she/he had any questions about my kid?</p>
<p>weird as this sounds- my daughter asked me starting in 10th grade not to go to them- the teachers were resentful of them. if anything came up i emailed them and that seemed to work well.</p>
<p>Private school in my experience are much more likely to be less helpful - they tend to have the attitude that they are accelerated enough already. </p>
<p>Every teacher my son had recognized that he was a real outlier, it was just a question of what they could manage to do, or were willing to do. My son’s first grade teacher arranged to teach math at the same time as a third grade teacher and my son went up to her classroom to do it. It meant disrupting two teacher’s normal schedule’s and I am very grateful to both those teachers for doing it - he loved that year. His second grade teacher gave him enrichment work in the classroom - lots of stuff with permutations and problem solving. His third grade teacher had him work out of a different math book and by then he’d gotten interested in computer programming so she came up with programming projects for him. He only had one teacher who wouldn’t do anything - we hated her.</p>
<p>I really don’t want to bother the teachers. I do not believe that my son should get special treatment. I just wish the curriculum was up to par. It is even worse in the local public schools, and I live in one of the top 5 school districts in the country.</p>
<p>Our district has p/t meetings twice a year: once right at the beginning of the year (about a month in) and I’ve never missed one of those for either D; and ones in the Spring. Those I haven’t attended in a while, as they only ask parents whose kids are struggling to come in for those.</p>
<p>I think PT meetings are a way for parents to introduce themselves to the teacher & give the teacher a signal that the parents care about their childs education. Our HS teachers usually hand out a sheet that talks about the curriculum for the year and they mention any big projects their class undertakes. Certainly an hour or two of your time isn’t a big sacrifice?</p>
<p>Someone upthread said their school didn’t have parent teacher association meetings; I find that hard to believe. As someone who has been on the PTA board in multiple states over the years, I can tell you that the same parents take the time to get involved every year. Take a look at your school calendar and attend a meeting. You don’t have to chair a committee, but even at the HS level, parents involvement is wanted and needed.</p>
<p>I appreciated the chance to get a feeling for the classroom and the teacher, so as to have a better feeling for either how wonderful my kids experience might be, or what they were up against. How can I discuss my kid’s day and homework without having a feeling for the players? Where I live, we have a strong sense of community, as I’d hope all schools would. I want to know those teachers and hope it is helpful for them to have a feeling for me as well. It was also helpful to hear that my talkative kid at home didn’t volunteer much, and be there to flesh out some of the details for that teacher. And in turn, ask why, when I returned home. Perhaps many of you had kids who sailed though everything without a single glitch. We had a few bumps in the road that required communication with teachers. </p>
<p>But it is sad that many of the parents who need to be there don’t attend those meetings. I’ve thought that a good community service might be to buddy with immigrants or those uncomfortable with the school system, get them to conferences or back to school nights.</p>
<p>Rob, That would indeed be me. I checked again, no PTAs in my son’s school. What does a PTA do? I am curious, as the school doesn’t seem to be lacking in anything. The curriculum could use a push, but then that is endemic across the USA. Also, the other parents would scream if I wanted to take the curriculum to the next level. :-)</p>
<p>I do attend the PT meetings but never get anything out of them. I attend them because I need to show respect to my son’s teacher, as otherwise he wouldn’t show the same respect in turn. Those are awkward discussions though.</p>
<p>What does the PTA (or PA) do? We do the landscaping for the school that the school board won’t pay for, run Project Graduation, provide grade level communication to parents. We provide 10+ scholarships/year to graduating seniors from proceeds from grocery rewards cards. We help the student council with food drives and book drives. We help coordinate the grade level homecoming floats. We publish the student directory. We coordinate Senior Recognition. We change the message on the sign in the front of the school. We provide the teachers with a monthly “thank you” breakfast. We provide volunteers for 10 regular shifts per week at the front office desk to greet visitors, give tours, and do clerical things like answer phones and stuff mailings. We raise money to cover things the school board doesn’t like: financial support for academic teams to go to competition (Destination Imagination, etc.) outdoor picnic tables, COWs (Computers on Wheels.) We talk with the Principal, Assistant Principal and teacher reps each month to find out where there are needs within the school community. </p>
<p>I know in some communities the PTA raises funds to pay the salary for non “essential” teachers i.e. art, music, foreign language in the elementary school years. </p>
<p>Basically the PTA does things that the school board won’t fund and/or things that help support the teachers/staff/students of the school. And while a some things may not be academically focused, I’ve yet to hear a parent complain when their students “Class of 201X” sign magically appears on their front lawn one morning. </p>
<p>IndianParent: obviously I don’t know what school your child goes to, but even private schools usually have a version of a PTA or PA (Parents Association.) And I’ve lived in the Northeast and the South. Doesn’t your school have an Open House during the first few weeks of school? Usually the PA president will say a few words at one of those. Certainly a call to the front office will let you know if and when any PA meetings happen.</p>
<p>RobD, my son indeed goes to a private school, but I have never, ever heard any speech from any PA representative. I know that there are open houses, but obviously we don’t go to those as our son is already in the school, so can’t say if any parent talks there. I don’t recall any parent talking when we visited the school many years back, but memory is vague there. Doing things for the teachers is a great thing, but the school has a policy that teachers may not be given any gifts above a certain very modest monetary value (which I personally think is braindead, but the rules are the rules). The rest of the stuff is all done by the school administration. In fact, if there is such an organization perhaps I can join and try to overturn the stupid rule about limits on how much gifts can be given to the teachers.</p>