What questions do you ask your kids' teacher in the PT meetings?

Parent Cafe
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<p>We liked going to teacher conferences, even if we didn’t learn much. I also liked volunteering in the classrooms monthly. It’s helpful to learn about interact with the teacher that spends so very much time with your child each week. </p>

<p>If not already covered, I’d specifically ask the teachers - “Are the areas where you think CO_kid could improve?” </p>

<p>“I doubt though that he will go to college.” - IP, what brings you to this college-planning website?</p>

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<p>

Its not a matter of being politically correct. Its a matter of tact and cordiality.</p>

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<p>Oh, you don’t want to know what brought me here. It was a google search about whether Asians are discriminated against in college admissions. I cannot talk about what happened afterwards.</p>

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<p>JYM, you think it would be tactless to explain the situation to the teacher like I did before?</p>

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<p>But if, as you claim, your kid isn’t going to go to college, why does it matter?</p>

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<p>What are you referring to in #64?</p>

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<p>I am referring to #59.</p>

<p>I may not have a college bound kid, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get upset when there is race based discrimination for other college bound kids.</p>

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<p>To all – curious how many schools continue individual Parent/Teacher conferences into Middle School and/or High School. Our district stops these after elementary school.</p>

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<p>Indian Parent Couple of things.<br>

  1. Your son is a little young to decide against college in favor of music.
  2. What if he gets hurt and can no longer play. what if a concert career does not take off? with such a long shot career aspiration, it is only prudent to have a fall back plan. That will require college.
  3. There are universities which have co-programs with conservatories; maybe this would be a perfect option for your son. Harvard/new england conservatory; julliard & columbia etc.<br>
  4. Some schools are very good about noting a child needs more and providing extra lessons without being asked. Some schools get defensive and send up roadblocks against those who ask for more ‘gifted" instruction. if your teachers have not approached you, approach them with care. And honestly if you are happy to provide the ‘extras’ yourself’ this is probably the best way to go and will allow you to be in control of the enrichment process. Consider, if you ask the teacher for help, they agree and then you don’t think their approach is rigorous enough (likely given your posts) what would you do then??</p>
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<p>College is still far away for my son, in the meantime he has to keep pushing himself. But I am a strong believer in chasing your dreams. I frankly don’t think my son has a shot in college especially at the likes of Harvard. He will have no ECs, no community work, no leadership roles, no work experience, what have you. I guess he can be a recruited athlete, but I would strongly discourage him on that front. The coaches are not the best people to be around, and life should be fun. </p>

<p>I am not really looking for enrichment in school. I will settle for some challenge. Let’s say how about giving him massive amounts of homework from 4-5 grades above and have him do that in school? That will surely perk him up. I just feel like a total a- hole even thinking of asking for this. I have never, ever asked for special treatment. That goes totally against my core values.</p>

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<p>Indian parent-- your son plays the piano and the cello and composes music. Those are wonderful ECs. Why wouldn’t he have a future leadership role? Why so negative when he sounds like he is off to a brilliant start?</p>

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<p>I am told that these are horrible ECs for Asian kids. As for leadership roles, you have to be interested in them. He isn’t. He likes to help people but he is not one of those kids who likes to organize things. Can’t blame him as he has two parents who are just like that as well.</p>

<p>I am not negative, I am just realistic. I am not going to encourage my kid to change just to impress some random adcom. If push comes to shove he will always find a place in the likes of CalTech. He is OK in math, will likely qualify for the math Olympiad summer program, but he doesn’t like science at all. But math is also a bad EC for Asian kids, and so is squash, another things he likes and is OK in.</p>

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<p>There is nothing wrong with asking what kinds of additional enrichment opportunities the teachers can offer in the classroom, etc. If your s is in a small school, they may not have the resources or simply the mass # of students to justify some of these additional opportunities. If the school allows the flexibility to provide the core academics necessary foir him to complete his primary/secondary education while having the time for outside lessons, concerts, etc, then stick it out and play nice. Dont **** off the teachers by implying your kid is too smart or too advanced for them and will be bored in their class. Thats an example of saying something in an unduly blunt, crass manner. Dont do that, even if its true. Be polite. Don’t offend.</p>

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<p>If you truly hate the curriculum, aren’t thrilled with the teachers, and don’t feel this private school is meeting your child’s needs…move on. You are making a choice to send him there. If it’s not working leave.</p>

<p>Also…my guess is your child is WAY too young to be even thinking about post high school plans…just saying.</p>

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<p>“I frankly don’t think my son has a shot in college especially at the likes of Harvard. He will have no ECs, no community work, no leadership roles, no work experience, what have you.” </p>

<p>Is college not worth attending unless it’s Harvard or something similar?</p>

<p>And it’s a bit premature to declare that he won’t have these things when he is still in middle school. You act as though his future needs to be set in stone now.</p>

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<p>"What if I just go and state the facts, that the kid is bored out of his mind and doesn’t want to come to school any more, and it is really becoming a problem which I don’t know how to solve, then ask for guidance? Will that work?
"</p>

<p>What do you think the reaction would be? You’re essentially saying “you’re incompetent at what you do” to the school.</p>

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<p>Gosh, I am the customer, and I have to be careful not to hurt the teacher’s feelings? The tuition is close to Ivy levels (not that I am complaining). If I cannot express the core problem, that the kid is bored in class, and also can’t say that I want the kid to be pushed more, what kind of diluted nonsensical enrichment bs will I have to pull, and how exactly will the teacher know what the hell the problem is!? This is just super frustrating.</p>

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<p>Exactly what grade is he in?</p>

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<p>PG, where did I say that the school is not doing it’s job!?</p>

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<p>PG, there are a few things I know for a fact. I will never allow my son to work when in school. I know his nature well, and he is not excited about leadership. Finally, he may have to do some bare minimum community work to get his diploma, but that will be it. I wouldn’t let him waste time that way. Now, you are right, his ECs may change. I will however be super unhappy if he drops the classical music.</p>

<p>I only mentioned Harvard because someone else did. I don’t think college is of much value anyway, outside of the diploma.</p>