<p>Like I said we are a magnet school of sorts. We are located well out of the area she lives in. As a result she has a long bus ride every day and it is difficult to be involved in after-school activities. Also, very few if any of her friends from middle school are at our school. I know she deeply misses seeing them. We are going to miss her but I wish her only the best and hope that being back with her friends brings her happiness.</p>
<p>No one should tolerate bullying. In schools students should be made to feel safe, we cannot always provide happiness, but we do like to encourage it.</p>
<p>Depending on where you live, your schools might have small classes, school counselors that are allowed to do more than just test special ed students or make class schedules. Unfortunately most public school counselors are over worked or non existent. Support your local school and school budgets.</p>
<p>Do you think that there is a corollation between the increase in mean girl/bullying and the decrease in manners/social skills being taught?</p>
<p>Just wondering if well-mannered kids with good social skills would be less likely to be mean…</p>
<p>I don’t know. Seems that bullying has been around for eternity. Some people, specially if they are insecure, like to believe they are more powerful than others, and to use that power to hurt others. </p>
<p>The covert mean girl stuff is really rampant now, but I remember plenty of mean girl behavior from my own youth.</p>
<p>So, there may be more of it, for whatever reason, includng those you mention, but mean girl bullying is by no means “new”.</p>
<p>We moved four kids OUT of private school because of the bullying, bad atmosphere, queen bee etc. We discussed with them that the behavior will happen no matter where, in schools with young kids- my oldest even saw it in a nursing home where she volunteered with the older women(some things never change!) Their comments were, at least you can change groups or sit with someone else when people aren’t nice- at their private school- there were 30-45 kids in a grade. It was the same kids year after year and those that rule the roost rule it year in and year out. It isn’t the size- some of it is the atmosphere the principal and teachers make in the school and what they make the kids know they will tolerate in behavior. In the best of schools you can find bad kids, in the worst of schools you can find the best of kids.I think empowering our own kids is important. However, believe your Mom/Dad sense if it is time to make a move. We didn’t listen to our inner voice and one of our kids suffered much longer than he ever should have (the teachers kept saying he was fine, he’s happy at school- it must be something at home…)</p>
<p>I am a middle school counselor in a school of 400 kids in grades 6-8. I have lost track of the number of times I have had the following conversation with parents:</p>
<p>Parent: “My kid has been harassed all year by this other kid and no one has done anything.”
Me: "Have you or your child ever talked to a teacher or other school person about it?
Parent: “No”</p>
<p>Rule #1 - we can’t fix it if we don’t know it is broken.</p>
<p>My next favorite conversation:
Parent: “My kid is being harassed by this other kid and I want you talk to the other kid but don’t mention my kid’s name at all.” </p>
<p>Rule #2 - We can 't fix it if it we can’t discuss what is happening openly and honestly. </p>
<p>My third favorite scenario:
Parent calls to complain about their kid being harrassed at home on the phone or over the internet. They want us to deal with it.</p>
<p>Rule #3: Schools have very limited influence about things that go on outside of the school. If it comes into the school and causes a problem, or happens on the way to or from school, we can probably deal with it. But we will not take on threatening comments on My Space. If that is your issue, call the police. </p>
<p>Rule #4: The student who is being harrassed must take responsibility for behavior that aggravated the situation. Harrassing back, which is the typical response of many middle schoolers, is not an excuse. </p>
<p>It is also important that parents and students understand that confronting harrassment in an open and direct manner usually helps the situation. The common belief is that it will get worse, but that is not my experience. Dealing with it openly usually helps things get better for everyone involved.</p>