<p>I got a 3 from each reader for this, but I don’t think the quality was THAT bad. What do you think it deserves and how could it be improved?</p>
<p>Prompt:
Does progress reduce the number of problems in the world, or does solving old problems just lead to new ones? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>Essay:
Solving problems only opens the way for new difficulties to emerge. Although society regards advancement highly, moving forward poses new problems that outnumber the old, unsolved cases. Development leads only to a recursive situation where further progress is needed to solve further problems; such a debacle goes back to mankind’s first inventions.</p>
<p>After humans invented fire to cope with the cold and to cease nomadic behavior, they learned that fire is harmful. The great achievement of the discovery of fire was soon undermined by its capacity to ravage men and their possessions, especially their dwellings. Where the problems of cold climates, of diseased and cold meat, and of the need to travel to hunt game were once solved, the new difficulties of burning homes, of ashen forests, and of seared flesh set in to befuddle humanity further.</p>
<p>Progress leads to the perpetuation of the need for advancement. When fire was invented, the need to control fires became necessary. The first humans’ great achievement served to cause more havoc in the future. From mankind’s beginnings, new innovations have led to newer difficulties; progress has only spurred the need for more progress.</p>
<p>I think you may have received a lower score because your essay wasn’t in five paragraph format. Also, you should use up the full two pages of writing space available on the test.</p>
<p>There’s no way you can get a good score with only 1 body paragraph. You should have 3.</p>
<p>So why is it that the top essay examples on collegeboard.org have less than 5 paragraphs and still have high scores?</p>
<p>(Link - [The</a> SAT Essay - Directions, Scoring, Strategies and More](<a href=“The SAT – SAT Suite | College Board”>The SAT – SAT Suite | College Board))</p>
<p>You can’t just have one though… Palmface. Have you not read the study that the MIY economics major did about the coorelation between length and score.</p>
<p>I haven’t read it, and I don’t care about it. If TCB shows us examples of essays with just 3 or 4 paragraphs that get high scores, especially scores of 6, then there’s no reason a strong essay with 3 or 4 paragraphs – or even less – should be hampered by its paragraph count.</p>
<p>Quoted from TCB’s website: “These teachers [the scorers] are not going to give high scores to an essay just because it is long, or has five paragraphs…”</p>
<p>I’m not going to give your essay a grade, but in my prep class we were told that essays should be at least four paragraphs (since there isn’t enough time to write five) with two concrete examples. You only have one example in your essay, and you stretch it out into two paragraphs with not enough information and detail in either one. I’m sure you’ve already seen it, but if you haven’t, [this</a> guide](<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html]this”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/sat-preparation/645763-how-write-12-essay-just-10-days.html) is helpful for SAT essay writing.</p>
<p>I agree with cekelly and Episteme though; you can’t hand in an essay that is too short. Try your best to fill up both of the two pages provided on the SAT or at least a page and a half. My teachers would always say that if you’re not filling up both pages, you haven’t said enough about the topic.</p>
<p>“Effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons and other evidence to support its position.” This is the College Board’s description of one criterion for a score 6 essay.</p>
<p>Your entire analysis boils down to:</p>
<p>“After humans invented fire to cope with the cold and to cease nomadic behavior, they learned that fire is harmful. The great achievement of the discovery of fire was soon undermined by its capacity to ravage men and their possessions, especially their dwellings. Where the problems of cold climates, of diseased and cold meat, and of the need to travel to hunt game were once solved, the new difficulties of burning homes, of ashen forests, and of seared flesh set in to befuddle humanity further.” </p>
<p>While true, this isn’t outstanding critical thinking. Did the occasional cave fire outweigh the benefits of settling down and no longer eating diseased food? Is fire the only example you can think of?</p>