<p>I would tell them the truth, that my parents do unskilled labor, if it weren’t because doing so would likely make my friends pity me, feel guilty, or, if they weren’t really my friends, snub me.</p>
<p>I don’t want to be one of those people who exaggerate the socioeconomic status of his parents in order to be able to maintain a normal social life… What and how should I answer the next time my friends ask what my parents do for a living?</p>
<p>You should tell them exactly what they do. Lies don’t make strong foundations for friendship. You already knew that though.</p>
<p>I could tell them the truth and kiss my social life good bye. I might end up an outcast but maybe it will feel good knowing that I don’t feel ashamed of publicly announcing the fact that my parents never made anything out of their lives. Maybe there is a clever way to avoid the question?</p>
<p>An outcast? Good grief. And you think the people who would cast you out are your friends? I think you need new friends.</p>
<p>Also, it’s not a matter of your “parents never made anything out of their lives.” People are not always offered opportunities. Obviously none of us knows your parents’ story, but people who are immigrants or people who had to work early in their lives instead of continuing their education may in fact have done the best they could. Also, there are people who have exceptional mechanical skills, not school-smart skills, who wind up working at a trade. </p>
<p>If you’re ashamed of your parents, you’re also ashamed of yourself. Don’t go through life feeling that way.</p>
<p>I think you need to focus on and understand your parents a little bit better.</p>
<p>I will state the obvious - why would you want to be friends with anyone that would care, much less treat you like an “outcast” over what your parents do for a living? Your background makes you who you are. Perhaps you aren’t giving these “friends” enough credit - I would imagine a real friend would admire you for going to college, or simply not really care about the issue all that much.</p>
<p>I doubt that your friends really care all that much what your parents do…they may be asking just to make conversation. If you really want privacy about it, you don’t really have to answer so directly…you can give a vague answer. You have the right not to give out information about yourself if you so choose. I have also heard that a good way to field questions you don’t want to answer is by asking “Why do you want to know?” or “why are you asking?”</p>
<p>This is the United States of America. Unless your parents passed away they are still trying to make something out of their lives and you are a very important part of that process. Be proud of their effort.</p>
<p>Nobody cares. Its all about you. In fact, if you’re at a top school, it may be even more impressive since you were an underdog.</p>
<p>It is awkward and it’s normal to feel that way. Everyone cares about how they are looked at by their peers. My father was an engineer and my mother worked in a factory doing sewing. Most of my friends parents owned their own company or had a senior position. I was not ashamed of my parents, but I acknowledged the fact that people are judgemental. I either didn’t talk about it or just said my mother worked at a fabric company. I have a job that my kids wouldn’t have any issue in discussion, but they’ll often say, “oh, she works at a bank, but I have no clue what she does.”</p>
<p>You may also find that over time people around you will care less, in the first few weeks of school people will ask more about your family, later on you’ll just be known as you. If you are a “loser”, there isn’t enough family money to compensate for that. If you are “chill” then your family background is not important.</p>
<p>Dear Nooooo!</p>
<p>It’s so weird you would say that your parents never made anything of their lives because, just the other day, I ran into them and I asked them, “Why didn’t you two ever make anything of your lives?”, and they said “Are you kidding? We may not have the best education or the best jobs, but we raised our little Noooooo! the best we could, and he/she has turned out to be an awesome, moral, hard working young man/woman and is doing well in college! And some day, there will be little Noooooo!, Juniors, who will also be great kids, and then little Noooooo!, IIIs running around, and they will all be great kids, contributing to society, and leaving the world so much better than we found it. So all of our hard work raising little Nooooo! has really made our lives worthwhile”.</p>
<p>By your standards, my parents, too, made nothing of their lives. But they sure made something of their childrens’ lives.</p>
<p>^^^Barfly, that is excellent! Great perspective!!!</p>
<p>I understand where your coming from Nooo! - often being in a similar situation myself. This may seem lame and cliche - but its true - you need to own it, and have a confident sense of self, and not be awkward. If you are awkward about it - people will feel awkward about it.</p>
<p>I don’t know whether to take this seriously of if this is a ■■■■■. Reminds me a lot of the last ■■■■■ who talked about going to hell.</p>
<p>I’m proud to tell my peers what my parents do ;)</p>
<p>I don’t think I’ve ever been asked the question of what my parents do. I suppose when you get older, that question becomes so insignificant because people are more interested in what YOU are doing with your life.</p>
<p>I used to lie and tell my friends my dad was an electrical engineer and my mom was a nutritionist when I was in middle school and part of high school, when in reality, my dad was an electrical technician and my mother was a nurse. I grew out of it by the time I graduated from high school. It was obvious that they were not, first of all, because I was absolutely clueless about college in general and both of my parents would have went if they were what I said they were.</p>
<p>Second of all, if your so-called friends pity or snub you because of what your parents do, those are friends you don’t need. No one cared that my parents were skilled laborers without college degrees. It wasn’t your choice to be born into a working class or lower middle class family.</p>
<p>I’ve never been prouder of what my parents do than I am now, now that I’ve grown up a little bit. Neither of them are top level but they work HARD and always have to provide for me and my siblings so that we could do better. And honestly, they work really important jobs. People need nurses and public transportation would grind to a halt in Atlanta if the rail car technicians didn’t keep them in working order.</p>
<p>don’t you have to go to college to be a nurse?</p>
<p>People say “how are you?” and we all answer “fine” because we know that most of the time it is a social pleasantry. When it is your good friend, you can tell the truth “I’m having an awful day”. When people ask what your parents do, be vague “my mom works in a hospital” or “my dad works in construction” or a grocery store, or whatever. When somebody is a trusted friend, you can tell them more.</p>
<p>Barfly, I would hug you if I could. That was a wonderful post!!! Your parents are two very successful people and I have no doubt that they know that everyday.</p>
<p>If your friends really are friends, they won’t care what your parents do for a living. In fact, they probably would be impressed that you’ve done so well despite not being born with a silver spoon.</p>
<p>If you lie about your parents’ work or if you try to hide it, it probably will hurt your relationship with your friends because of your lack of trust in your friends’ good opinion of you. You also will find yourself busting your budget as you try to keep up with your friends’ expenditures. This isn’t worth the grief.</p>