What should I do?

<p>My S does not work hard for his grade but wants me to pay for his summer camp which will look good for college. If he really works hard for his grade, I would be happy to pay the summer camp. Now, I am thinking: why I pay for his summer camp he does not even work hard for his grade?</p>

<p>Does he not work hard or does he not get good grades?</p>

<p>Just took my son for his physical this week. The pediatrician sad that she rarely sees any hard working driven boys, but lots of girls that are striving to succeed. It seems as though boys just mature slower than girls.</p>

<p>Perhaps the summer camp will do more than look good; perhaps it will excite him about the subject he will study. Maybe it will help him get some direction as to what he would like to do and motivate him to work a bit harder next year.</p>

<p>The usual wisdom around here is, that summer camps that cost a lot of money do NOT look good for college. Not saying there is not a reason to do this; just that "looking good" might not be one of them.</p>

<p>He does not work hard so he does not get good grades.
Many teachers said about him: Not working up to individual potential and expectancy.</p>

<p>Some kids at least pretent to study when parents are around. My S just tells me he does not want to study. He plays compute games and chats with his friends online crazily.</p>

<p>Make him get a grunt job this summer and tell him that is the type of job he can expect after high school if he doesn't apply himself.</p>

<p>What kind of camp does he want to go to? Why does he want to go? Since this is potentially the first sign of his wishing to actively pursue something other than computer gaming, it does have the potential to be a positive step. Depending on the details.</p>

<p>What grade is he in?If he's 14 or younger (sort of arbitrary) I'd use some parental controls on the video game and cell phone. Let "us" know if you need technical help with that.</p>

<p>Of course, won't work well if he is much more tech savy than you.</p>


I guess that would depend on the type of camp and the dedication one has to show to want to go. My son went to four years of math camps. The first three years were very expensive - about $3-4K each. The fourth year was a little over $2K. I'm pretty sure that impressed the schools, because he had a stellar admissions season and the math camps were about all there was to set him apart from all the other high-GPA high-test-score kids.</p>

<p>I agree with Consolation - what kind of camp does he want to go to?</p>

<p>Love the tech advice suggestion, Shrinkrap. My son brought me the hard drive. The rub? It wasn't the hard drive he needed to play. Took me a day to figure it out.</p>

<p>The very few summer programs that impress colleges are ones that students go to for free and that students are accepted into because of accomplishments like high gpas.</p>

<p>If your son wants to go to summer camp, tell him he'll have to earn all or part of the money. He can do odd jobs and other things if he's motivated to go. Otherwise, let him stay home and do chores or work a job so he'll see what he'd have to do as a career if he doesn't get the grades to go to college.</p>

<p>If your son is playing computer games, etc., then stop him from using the computer. You're the mom. Take charge.</p>

<p>I disagree about all good programs being free. The free ones are usually ultra competitive, but there are lots of good programs. DD went to several different types of programs. Her motivation was not to look good, but to explore things that were not otherwise available to her. The program she won a scholarship for (Chinese immersion) turned out to be less than ideal for her. We were always just trying to find things to supplement her learning and keep her engaged.</p>

<p>I do think that you have to look at motivation. Going to a program because it might impress someone isn't the same as going because you have real desire to explore something in the summer.</p>

<p>"Love the tech advice suggestion, Shrinkrap."</p>

<p>I see a lot of teen boys in my practice. You should see their faces when I talk to them about video game stuff. Plus I deduct all the systems (XBox 360, Wii, PS3, PSP, gameboy, ) on my taxes...</p>

<p>Also gamefly!</p>

<p>I am sincerely hoping that DS can spin his love of video into a wonderful essay for his college apps. Perhaps something along the lines of....My grades would be better if I didn't spend so much time with my true love....</p>

<p>He wants to go math camp.</p>

<p>What grade is he in?</p>

<p>What year is your son?</p>

<p>If he's not a rising senior, I would tell him to work up to his potential during the next school year to earn this math program for next summer.</p>

<p>To be clear, it's not that all good camps are free, but more about the issue of the value of spending money to impress colleges,</p>

<p>as in...</p>

<p>"wants me to pay for his summer camp which will look good for college."</p>

<p>A lower cost option might be online, community college, or other college courses in math, or other subjects that interest him. Does he want the camp experience, or is math the draw for him?</p>

<p>He sounds like one of my sons. We went through the same thing. In my experience, it's better to let him face the reality that not working to his full potential has it's limitations, and I'm not going to pay his way (with these extra programs). The year after I put my foot down, he actually applied himself more than ever before (which still isn't spectacular compared to other motivated teens, but a big improvement for him.)</p>