I’m currently a senior in high school, and I have a question for all the parents here.
I knew from the beginning of my senior year that UW-Madison was the school I wanted to go to. It fits my needs very well, and I feel like I would really be able to succeed there. However, my dad had really high hopes that I would attend his alma mater, Yale, or another college like Yale. His “philosophy” was that I should go to the best college I could (meaning name/reputation) because the name of the school is what’s most important. He took me on all these college tours of schools he wanted me to go to, and my mom took me to see UW. I did all the application stuff, and I waited. I didn’t get in to any Ivy League schools, or any of the schools that he had expressed interest in me attending. But I was okay with that, as I was accepted into Wisconsin in early December. At the time, I was elated. I texted him immediately after I found out, and his response was “congrats.”
Lately, he’s started making all these little comments about the colleges his friends’ kids were accepted to, or asking me how many kids from my school have gotten into X University. Every time I visit him, he’s wearing something from Johns Hopkins or Yale. He keeps reminding me that my cousin is coming to visit in June to see Northwestern, where he’ll be going. And just this morning, I found out that earlier this year, when my brother was accepted into this program at my high school for 30 kids from each grade to be in more advanced level classes from the start of their freshman year, he said something to my mom along the lines of “I knew from the start, if any one of our kids was going to get into Yale, it’d be him.”
What can I say to my dad that would communicate how much it hurts that he’s so openly critical of not only the fact that I’m attending UW, but how I feel he’s also doubting my capabilities to succeed? It’s too late for him to change his opinion and the way he acts around me; I already know his true feelings. But I would at least like him to know how much it hurts that he doesn’t think I can succeed without the help of the name of the college.
I’m also wondering if anyone has any ideas on what I can do to get past the disappointment I feel in myself. I know UW is a great school, and back in December I was really proud of myself. Now, I just feel like it’s not good enough.
Lastly, I’m trying to decide whether I should get him a Badger Proud t-shirt or a Wisconsin Dad t-shirt for Father’s Day. Opinions?