I don’t see that we need to be allergic to gender recognition. It doesn’t hurt to have some division of labor and cost so one person is in charge in one aspect and the other in something else. The bride can host the wedding and the groom takes care of the honeymoon, flowers and others. One can still make it equitable and make decisions in consultation with each other. They can reverse the roles, too, the groom palns wedding the bride the honeymoon.
My fiancé/husband paid for my engagement ring. Our money wasn’t pooled at that point.
No one offered to pay for,our honeymoon…so we didn’t really have one. We did spend one night at a nice B and B one town away from where we got married.
Maybe for our 35th anniversary, we will have a honeymoon.
You should absolutely do that Thumper. 
I did a poll of all the adults I encountered this morning. Not a single person had ever heard of the husband paying for the honeymoon. The only thing they all had in common was they were all mostly working class. Ages ranged from mid-20s to mid-60s and most were Michigan-born. A few were European immigrants.
(And yes, they were confused why a random 20-something was asking about honeymoons but all answered!)
I feel less crazy now (I wonder if it’s a class thing since most of the people I polled didn’t really have the money to have any kind of honeymoon other than a quick and/or local one)
It’s sort of technical, but my H had more money than I did when we got engaged, so our “standard of living” (and honeymoon) was predicated on his standard, not mine. He did buy the tickets and reserved the hotel rooms with “his” money. Our money got pooled afterwards, but it wasn’t pooled beforehand.
We spent a night or two in Chicago (the nearest city) after our wedding because that’s all we could afford. Have taken several nice trips in the almost 36 years since so it worked out ok.
We were very lucky - MIL and FIL paid for our honeymoon as their wedding gift. It was a total surprise to me and waaaaaay nicer than we could have afforded since we were still students. My parents were in on it, and my mom and MIL re-packed my suitcase after I dropped it off with the friend who was hiding our car. I was expecting four days at the Oregon coast and got a week at a pricey Hawaiian resort. That was beyond generous and I hope I thanked them enough.
I think it very much is a class thing.
Go down to your local courthouse. Find out if they have a specific time or day of the week when they usually schedule courthouse weddings. Every day you will see people coming in to get married, some in street clothes, some dressing up for the events.
I don’t have any problem over the idea of people paying what they can and want to pay for.
It’s the “should” that is a stumbling block for me.