<p>I mean stats so good you know you will get into Harvard no sweat.</p>
BMan22
February 10, 2010, 4:32pm
2
<p>You would have to be either Jesus or insane to make Harvard your safety.</p>
<p>Two Words: Alex Zhai</p>
<p>
Actually, even He might have issues.</p>
<p>
kinshasa:
As an admission officer at High Selectivity U, I have had an opportunity to review the admissions packet for this applicant named Jesus and here is what I found and my recommendations to the rest of the committee: </p>
<p>He didn’t report a GPA and appears to be home schooled. His father is just a carpenter (although he is claiming a second father; apparently there is some dispute) and his mother is just listed as a “Virgin” (I wonder if anyone has explained to him the facts of life). Also, he is from an area where most people are illiterate and thus I question whether he could have received the necessary training in the core courses (although he is claiming some personal involvment in the creation of Christian history). He seems to have no knowledge of the ancient Greeks, never read Homer, and asserts the world actually began with Adam and Eve. Nevertheless, he appears to be well-read in the scriptures and does seem to be able to cite chapter and verse. Also, he appears to be a compelling speaker who has stood often before the masses to present his ideas on the meaning of the scriptures. So he obviously has been able to overcome his less than stellar upbringing. </p>
<p>His test scores are excellent, perfect in fact, but there may be a scandal lurking as he was accused by some Philistines of knowing the questions and answers before starting the test. He professed that it is just his uncanny ability to see the future. As no direct proof of actual cheating could be found, the testing center decided that it had no choice but to certify his scores. Like other doubters I also question his excuse. </p>
<p>His EC’s appear at first glance to be impressive – turning scant food into enough to feed thousands, healing the sick, making the blind see, raising someone from the dead. However, others have asserted that those are magicians tricks designed to fool the masses. Moreover, he definitely has a Messiah complex, believing himself the saviour of mankind and claiming he can forgive sins. I have learned of reports that he is a true rebel and his actions are all designed to bring down the established government so he can become king. I have visions of his leading the students to take over the administration center if we did something he disliked like our plan to cut religion courses from the curricullum because of budget cuts. Also, I wonder how a person like him will fit among all of our ambitious, success oriented students when his philosphy can be summed up in his own words as “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.” </p>
<p>He has worked as a carpenter but otherwise has not performed any work that could be considered meaningful for college admission. His recommendations are filled with glowing remarks about being the greatest person who ever lived but I am not sure how much credence we can put in recommendations that come from a prostitute (Mary Magdellan), a fisherman (Simon who also seems to go by Peter), a former tax collector turned religious fanatic (Matthew), and a filthy hermit who baptizes religious converts by attempting to drown them in lakes. </p>
<p>There is no legacy here though he claims to be a descendant of Abraham, and he is not an under-represented minority. His promise to provide us all with the Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven seems empty at best. I am somewhat intrigued by his belief that he will someday be crucified and then rise from the dead but then many of our applicants usually have a death wish and are on the verge of suicide anyway. In balance, I have to give a thumbs down. He is just too much of a risk and I doubt he could add anything of substance to the prestige of the university.
</p>
<p>42 on the IMO would probably do the trick</p>
<p>No school that cares about academic credentials would reject an IMO medalist. That being said, I’m not sure an IMO medal would secure you a place at Harvard.</p>
<p>42 isn’t just a medal, it’s a perfect score</p>
<p>What would even be your first choice if somehow harvard was your safety</p>
<p>Probably having amazing hair. Just really solid hair. That parts in the middle. Yeah.</p>
<p>@jgraider</p>
<p>Trinity College, Cambridge!</p>
<p>I would’ve chosen Caltech over Harvard. Of course, Caltech would definitely accept someone like Alex Zhai.</p>
<p>The cool thing about Cambridge or Oxford is the preferential treatment alumni get. My aunt was able to get my family into Trinity at Oxford for free, even though it was closed and it normally costs like £7.50 to get in. She also felt free to take us through areas that were “off-limits” at her own college (Christchurch IIRC).</p>
<p>^^ No, Trinity… YOU CAN SIT UNDER THE APPLE TREE THAT ISAAC NEWTON SAT UNDER! (Well technically a clone of the tree that Newton sat under…)</p>
<p>Christ’s is amazing too but come on, for maths/sciences it has to be Trinity. I will concede that Christ’s is better for languages and stuff but then again Oxford in genral is better with non-sciences than Cambridge.</p>
<p>^And at Christ’s you can SLEEP IN THE ROOM THAT CHARLES DARWIN SLEPT IN!</p>
<p>I should probably shut up about Christ’s though, seeing that they pooled me.</p>
<p>^ OK that’s pretty awesome… Btw how’d you get the small text?</p>
<p>^ [size=1][ /size] without the spaces</p>
<p>[noparse]Small Font[/noparse]</p>
<p>smallest font known to man? or TCBH pulling a farce?</p>
<p>it didn’t work</p>
<p>Curing cancer, perhaps? If you’re 17 years old and you’ve cured cancer, I’m pretty sure you could go to college anywhere you want.</p>
Hunt
February 10, 2010, 6:51pm
20
<p>The stat that will make any school a safety has $ in front of it and a lot of zeroes after it.</p>